Sunday, August 10, 2014

porchless

I have been trying to get along with the Apidae family ever since they moved in, but clearly this is just not working out. 

I am the one making all the compromises: giving them plenty of room, staying out of their way, politely ignoring them as they buzz around. I even forgave them when one of them attacked me a couple of weeks ago, thinking perhaps I somehow brought the attack upon myself. So I gave them more room, tried to be an understanding neighbour.

But no more. Last night one of them attacked me again, inflicting two wounds upon my abdomen. So I killed him.

I really enjoy sitting on my front deck after dinner, reading the newspaper. It's the part of summer that I most look forward to all winter long. But since these red-belted bumble bees have nested under the deck, it's been considerably less fun. 

The entrance to their nest is a small gap between the deck and the wall of the house. There is no way for a non-professional to access it. I don't particularly want to kill these bees, but I don't want to keep getting stung either. It hurts like a mofo. 

I have hung up one of those fake wasp nests to establish my territory, which they completely ignored. I have moved the chairs and table well away from the nest entrance and made sure that their flight path to and from the nest is clear of any obstructions. That seemed to work for a while, until I brought a cup of chamomile tea out with me last night. Who knew bumbles bees became so enraged by chamomile tea?

I used to think that bumble bees were nice. Maybe these red-belted ones are just the assholes of the bumble bee world. Does anybody know Billy the Exterminator's number?

6 comments:

Eugene Knapik said...

We don't know your friends, but their cousins, some variety of hornet, have made a nest inside the siding of the house. This crossed a line. Tuffy P has dropped the gauntlet and war has commenced.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I wish Tuffy P the strength of a thousand warriors, Eugene. She will prevail!

John Mutford said...

The insects are taking over! We returned from vacation to find a wasp nest under the eaves between our kids' bedroom windows. Grrrr.

Erik Donald France said...

Good one. At first I thought the Apidae family might be related to Ms. W. Takahashi, until the zingers!

'Float like a butterfly, Sting like a bee . . .'

Yellow jackets have gotten me good, and wasps, but I've evaded the rough & bumbles so far.

phlegmfatale said...

I'd contact a bee-keeping organization in the region and see if they know anyone who could relocate the hive. It'd be a pain in the arse, but, uh, if that's not an option, well, then the hive would be SOL.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I was surprised by these little beggars, Erik. I expect this sort of behaviour from wasps and yellow jackets but always thought the humble bumble bee was above this.

I had hoped to do something similar, Phlegmmy, but sadly the nest is quite unreachable, tucked under a low deck, reachable only through a narrow slit between the deck and the house. I shall just have to wait for winter to do the job.