Saturday, November 05, 2011

destined for the junkheap

The cogs are rusty and the bolts are falling out. And I am not at all sure how to fix the machine.

I'm not talking about our microwave that has finally been repaired after one month minus two days of non-waving, micro or otherwise. That was an easy fix. The impetus to this particular grumpy complainy rant is the slow erosion of the human machine, the one that has been hauling me around for several decades.

I'm feeling rather betrayed by this. Not that I was ever a Ferrari. More like a dump truck, really. But I always figured that chassis would continue to house my being for eternity,
reliably and without complaint.

I'm starting to realize that isn't so.

I won't bore you with a litany of complaints (although I am tempted), but I will tell you that the aches and pains that began several months ago just keep spiraling into an ever-expanding circle of creakiness. The thigh bone, it would seem, really is connected to the knee bone.

When you can't move normally, you can't move normally, and fitness levels begin to plummet, making it harder to move normally.

I was complaining to the Spousal Unit this morning, as I hobbled down the stairs, that I wished I could just bisect myself at the waist and throw away the bottom half. He laughed and said he wished he could do that with his top half. Maybe we could just ditch the broken parts and fuse together a brilliant new machine with the bits that still work.

Dr. Frankenstein, do you make house calls?

How do you deal with your corporeal complaints?

11 comments:

leazwell said...

I take an Advil. So far that is all that is needed for teh come and go joint aches.

Wandering Coyote said...

Aging - what can I say? You know about my weird PMS pains; usually they just go away as the hormonal wave recedes. Wish I could say the same about my eyesight, though! I might need progressives soon and I'm not happy about that.

Oh, I have also started to pluck my grey hairs out with tweezers. Is that normal?

Allison said...

Having to deal with any type of chronic pain is not fun. Medication does nothing (at least for me).

Have you tried any alternative therapies like acupuncture? It's never really worked for me, but every person is different.

mister anchovy said...

an occasional medicinal dose of obscenely good scotch does wonders.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You are obviously doing something right when you can control the aches with mere Advil, Leazwell. Bravo!

I'd be careful with the grey hair plucking, WC. Unless you've got loads of hair to spare.

I did try massage, Al, but it did not help with my issues. I was told that physio may work better.
Chronic pain is a bitch.

The trick is keeping it occasional, Mr Anchovy, and at a medicinal dosage.

kelly said...

i think pain is a very individual thing and I've been fortunate because my pains have always gotten better (mostly better anyhow). there is what i call a normal aging pain like i have in my knees most of the time but I'm able to ignore that for the most part, just takes time for the joints to loosen up and stop hurting when i go for a run. I wouldn't suggest that anybody else's pain is like this or that exercise would help. i know some people's pain can be incredibly debilitating and depressing and they live with it constantly.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You are quite right, Kelly, pain seems to manifest itself differently in everyone. Despite the fact that it affects my sleep, I have always been able to ignore my IT band pain, because it doesn't affect my mobility. Not so with recent knee pain. I am very impressed that you can run when you knees hurt!

kelly said...

my pain isn't that bad and it certainly doesn't last more than the first few minutes of the run.

I am starting to feel old though because I have two friends who are only a few years older than me, one needs a new knee and the other is on the list for a new hip and one other guy who is same age (48) who got a new hip last year.

LesleyG said...

Hmm, what can I say? Besides that since about when I turned 28 my body has been a constant source of surprise to me. It has finally hit me, though, that even though I do a lot of physical activity, this machine is not going to maintain itself. So I do yoga, and walks, and regular stretching, and rest when I need it, too. And sometimes a massage, and sometimes some green smoothies to balance out the cake. And take pro-biotics, which is a new fun addition to the regimen. (TMI?) So, yeah, it's a lot of little things and although I am sure it's annoying to have a 32-year-old punk give recommendations, I do hope my approach now is a life-long plan: commit to doing a lot of little good things and they will add up.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

New hips at 48? Wow, I feel badly for them, but suddenly I feel like a well-tuned machine, Kelly.

Maybe the "lot of little things" approach is more sensible (at my age anyway) than the go like crazy and get it done with approach that I have always used, Lesley. Although it does sound like it necessitates a lot more thought.

LesleyG said...

Trial and error, mostly. :)