Thursday, April 07, 2011

nobody fools with Mavis

Below is my inaugural submission to Flash Fiction Friday, the community that encourages us to flex our fiction writing muscles by penning a weekly piece of short fiction.

This week's prompt - caught with one's pants down.

~~~

Buona Sera, Kiss Me Goodnight

What does she need that ring for? She's dead. It's not like she's going to go flashing it around in anybody's face now.

Always waving her hand around in front of your face, she was. Didn't matter if she was at the beauty parlour or the grocery store or the bank, as soon as you but glanced in her direction, there she would go, flapping her damned hand around, making sure that the whole town knew that she had a genuine Eternity diamond.

It is pretty though, isn't it? See how it catches the light?

I notice you admiring that bracelet. Why yes, it was Wendy Poirier's. You have a good eye for baubles. She hardly has any use for it now, does she, being six feet under? I don't see why Emily Novak should be wearing those emerald earrings that you are reaching for either, not while she's feeding the worms, rest her soul.

Turn myself in? Oh I don't think so, my dear. You should be giving me a medal instead. If I hadn't rescued those baubles from the funeral home they would have been moldering on maggoty corpses now, instead of bringing a bit of sparkle and joy to the world. Nothing wrong with that.

And don't even think of trying to open that door. This pistol may be jewel-encrusted but the bullets aren't, so just sit back down and finish your tea. I'll pass you another date square.

That's a lovely watch you're wearing.

20 comments:

leazwell said...

clap, clap, clap....

Flannery Alden said...

Oh, deliciously evil! Welcome to the gang...

Doc said...

"This pistol may be jewel-encrusted but the bullets aren't!"

Way to pack a punch in a short piece! The language was perfect and I pay you my highest compliment, "Mongo impressed!" Welcome aboard and I'm looking forward to reading your next entry.

Doc

Angie said...

Sometimes, the shortest pieces can pack the most punch. Loved it!

Wandering Coyote said...

Oh, I love it!

Allison said...

Very nice indeed. You should do this more often. And you're ahead of the game - it's only Thursday!

Beach Bum said...

Outstanding!

For me it had that film noir flare, excellent work.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Why, thank you, Leazwell.

It's a delightful gang to be joining, Flannery!

Thanks, Doc, I am mongo honoured!

Much obliged, Angie!

Thanks, WC, it was a really fun exercise.

I am going to try to keep making regular contributions, Al, it's fun and stretches me beyond my comfort zone.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Beach Bum!

RegCPA5963 said...

I like this, I have in my mind what both look like and their respective stations in life. (probably totally off with my guess) But that's what I like so much besides the writing, you leave an opportunity for active imagination to run wild!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thank you, RegCPA5963, I consider it quite an honour that this sparked your imagination. I was hoping that it would have that effect!

ERR said...

Good story. I look forward to more.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thank you, ERR, I look forward to writing more fiction too.

Joyce said...

What an ending! This was deliciously disturbing. Welcome and I also look forward to reading more of your work. Terrific job here!

John Mutford said...

Loved it. Loved the jumps in revelation from one paragraph to the next. Nicely paced!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thank you, Joyce, I always aim to be as disturbing as legally possible!

Much obliged, John. Getting the Mutford nod is no small feat!

27thstreet said...

well done.

rayyanek said...

I love the subtlety in showing the wickedness. Also, I loved how you masterfully hid the evil behind the properness of both the langauge and the character. Great work!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Many thanks, Mr Anchovy.

Thanks so much, rayyannek, it was a really fun exercise and I enjoyed stepping outside of my normal realm for it.

L said...

Intriguing, Barb!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I aim to intrigue, Lesley!