Sunday, December 26, 2010

still milking it

The red envelope stood out amongst the bundle of holiday cards in the mailbox on Christmas Eve.

My extensive training in
bomb disposal made me immediately suspicious of the lack of return address. My keen detecting skills also noted that, although there were abundant postage stamps afixed, there was no post office mark. And our address suffix was assigned to the wrong quadrant of the city.

I suspect these oddities were all red herrings, and that the envelope was, in fact, hand delivered.

It was, as you may have guessed, the glorious return of The Attack of the Twelve Days of Christmas Gifter.

Very clever too, I thought, to wait until Christmas Eve, when in previous years the gift had arrived late November. Completely threw me off the scent, it did. Perhaps the mysterious gifter read my recent post about the lack of the Eighth Day gift this year and decided to forgive us for not playing along very nicely last year, with the ill-fated swans.


Rest assured that I have scrutinized the card, the envelope, and the accompanying ransom note very closely for clues of its origin, all to no avail. I do not recognise the milk maid, the barn or the cows. The milk maid is obviously known to the Gifter, as you will notice that she is holding the ransom note in one of the photos.

It troubles me
, though, that she looks somewhat sad.

Cheer up, milk maid! You have bested us and we salute you.

13 comments:

umbrellalady said...

Hmm - gets better with each year - perhaps she is missing the other seven maids...?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

That's a distinct possibility, Kathy, or maybe she is just disappointed in us. I am very pleased that the tradition continues.

L said...

This story is the weirdest modern Christmas story I know.

I'm glad it continues, yet equally freaked out.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I am of the same conflicted mind about the machinations of this story, Lesley. Perhaps they will make a movie of it one day. David Lynch should direct.

27thstreet said...

That is so weird!

URBAN BLONDE said...

Disturbing!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You are both right, Mr Anchovy and UB!

Wandering Coyote said...

You're right, that's not a very jolly-looking milkmaid at all. The cows look totally into it though.

Well! Another year of mystery! I'm kind of glad for you.

Allison said...

How very intriguing. So the card was in place of the gift? The plot thickens. I can't wait to see what happens next year.

Volly said...

All riiiiight! Life is back in balance.

Hope you had a merry Christmas (or at least a moozy one!).

Barbara Bruederlin said...

The cows look like they've been bribed not to give away any secrets, WC. I'm pleased about the return of the mystery.

The card was the gift, Al. It had been made into a four-sided standup card, sort of like a rectangular lamp shade. Quite clever.

All is right with the world again, Volly! And Christmas was extremely moozy!

BeckEye said...

Canada sure is a weird place.

URBAN BLONDE said...

I don't know it kind of reminds me of a ransom note. Are you sure that milkmaid isn't being held for postage?