Sunday, January 03, 2010

who's that girl, she must be nearly freezing

Her plane should be starting its descent right about now. In a few minutes the Offspring, who for the past two weeks was once again the Resident but is now resuming her moniker of Offspring Formerly Known as Resident, will step onto the warm and wet soil of the coast, leaving behind the land of chinooks and winter-dry skin.

It was a glorious two weeks, a nice combination of slothfulness and activity. Lounging in pyjamas morphed seamlessly into snickering at zebra horse-hair stilettos with lucite heels at the mall. Video watching on the chesterfield was replaced with matinees at our favourite cinema. Okay, maybe the level of physical activity that was undertaken fell more into the category of window shopping and museum wandering, but once you have been pummeled by turkey and shortbread, it's important to start back with baby steps.

I am chagrined to admit that, although the crokinole board was hauled out of the basement, no crokinole games were actually played. We simply ran out of time, but holy moly what an oversight. I am not sure if we are going to be able to maintain our Canadian citizenship after this.

I also realize this blog has been unconscionably lacking in year end/new year lists, and I vow to make amends for that oversight. It's all kosher provided you do your listing before Russian Orthodox Christmas anyway, isn't it? So here's a mini-list:

Top five zombie-approved new traditions from Christmas 2009:

1. movie per day - notables include some old favourites like Anchorman, Pineapple Express, that great Christmas film Eastern Promises, and Hot Fuzz, as well as the film studies recommended Cache and La Haine, and the Cohen offering Burn After Reading, as well as the venture-out-to-the-art-house-cinema-on-a-snowy-afternoon bit of awesomeness Moon.

2. libelous Scrabble - Scrabble is always good, but only the Resident Offspring could make it even better by insisting that one uses the word that they just put on the board in a libelous sentence. Suffice it to say that Kanye West figured largely in the ensuing discussion.

3. snuggling on the chesterfield to contemplate the Christmas tree together before turning off the lights at bedtime - an activity that I have been doing in silent solitude for many Christmases, made so much sweeter as a mother-daughter activity.

4. shoe-shopping - which may not sound like a zombie-approved activity, but when you throw in being amazed at the overwhelming selection of leopard-print horsehair Oxfords with lucite heels in the stores this year, it rapidly descends into zombieness.

5. learning Russian by shopping at Winners - it's strange how certain stores seem to have become little havens of ethnicity. For example all the Russian women of south Calgary seem to hang out at Winners; we kept expecting a naked knife fight to break out in the faux leopard fur blouse section. But of course en route we all speak Scottish in the urban assault vehicle.

The house feels a little too empty and too quiet now, of course, but I am already planning activities (or what passes for activity around this house) when the Offspring comes home in February.

How was your Christmas? Did you start any new traditions?


OFKAR said...


Don't forget the Aldo Spanish lessons!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh you are right,OFKAR! The only thing I can say in my defense is buon giorno. How fun!

OFKAR said...

I actually meant the store!

Allison said...

Libelous Scrabble, brilliant! I will be stealing this idea in the near future.

No new traditions this year, but next year...less with the driving, more with the chesterfieldness. ;)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Of course, the Spanish contingent at Aldo! They are a shoe-shopping people, OFKAR.

Chesterfieldness may very well be my pick for the OED word of the year, Al. It is certainly my chosen activity.

kelly said...

do you actually use the word chesterfield to describe your couch?

What is the difference between chesterfield sofa and couch?

Karen said...

It sounds like a fabulous way to spend your time with the Offspring Barb. I'm surprised that her film studies class showed/recommended La Haine. I haven't seen it myself but have wanted to for quite some time (Vincent Cassel and Mathieu Kassovitz? Sigh) - isn't it extremely violent? Maybe I'm thinking of another of their collaborations...?

I wanna be adopted by the Zombies.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I think they are all synonyms, Kelly, but yes, I grew up saying chesterfield. I think it's rather Canadian, don't you? What do you call the place you park your bum?

You would fit right in with the Zombie family, Karen.
They did study La Haine in film class; I found it less violent than a lot of other films, except of course some of it is real, by virtue of footage from the riots. It is surprisingly humourous. Do watch it!

kelly said...


John Mutford said...

Libelous Scrabble sounds like a lot of commie fun!

This year we got into finding Christmas episodes of old and usually terrible sitcoms on YouTube. Each night for about a week leading up to Christmas, we'd find a couple and wrap presents while watching. I think we'll resurrect that one again next year. It was a lot of fun.

Anonymous said...

Burn After Reading - ridiculously funny!

pilgrimchick said...

Sounds nice--I'm not sure about the Russian, but I can appreciate the movies.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Kelly - noted.

That's inspired, John! I sure hope you got to see A Very Brady Christmas! I may just have to steal that tradition.

It's true, Leazwell, even the gory bits! But then it IS the Coens.

I'm never quite sure about the Russians either, Pilgrimchick.

Charlie said...

February is just around the corner—will you be needing new traditions for that too?

Chesterfield is a cigarette brand in the US. We call it the davenport (arcane), couch, sofa, divan, and Charliedon'tputyourfilthyheadonthat.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

We used to have a "Charliedon'tputyourfilthyheadonthat", Charlie, but then someone put their filthy head on it and now we just call it a chesterfield. But nobody smokes on it.