the Great BC Odyssey pic spam

~ a great night for meat, and meeting Mel and 668 ~



~ otters and orcas and dolphins, oh my ~




~ just happy to be walking the seawall instead of shoveling snow ~



~ and hanging with Dr Sun ~
~ in his pretty gardens ~

~ meanwhile, over on the island, friends waited ~

~ with seaside walks ~

~ and houseboats ~


~ and dog poop signage ~


~ and dead people with million dollar views ~

the Great BC Odyssey - island time

I now understand why it's so difficult to get a Vancouver Islander to meet you in Vancouver. It's a major undertaking - a 1/2 hour drive from Vancouver to the ferry, wait in line forever, 1-1/2 hour ferry ride, 1/2 hour drive to Victoria. Once you are ensconced in the city of cherry blossoms, you don't just pop into Vancouver on a whim.

It is a hell of a nice ferry, though. I was expecting some old wooden scow with a fish and chip stand on an outdoor deck and barf bags handed out as you board. But it's shiny and new and about 6 levels, at least 2 of which are taken up by a car park. There are restaurants and staterooms and comfy seats and two outer decks from which to take in the air. Or the cigarette smoke, depending on where you happen to stand.

It was great to finally meet Toccata and Jen (blogger meetup number 12 and 13, for those at home keeping score), not to mention Toccata's gorgeous-but-she-knows-it cat and Jen's sweet kid. After settling ourselves in at Toccata's character house, we all headed out and met up with Jen, and between the two of them, Jen and Toccata showed us all the sights - the oceanside graveyard housing Emily Carr and the creepy long-toed nun statue, the houseboats, the dog poop signs, the pebble beach where I scored my only souvenir, the government buildings and the Empress Hotel, all the freakin flowers, and of course the Save On Foods Memorial Arena. Poor Jen was sick as a dog but she cleans up real nice and was a trooper about schlepping all over town. The cold meds had not dulled her fierceness either. Toccata was a wealth of information about Victoria and knows the place inside out.

We met up with Jen's offspring at the Japanese Village for supper, one of those places where they put on a mad chopping, slicing, flipping, sizzling show in front of you. Apparently we were the only party in the restaurant that night not celebrating a birthday, so nobody came out with a drum and wished us happy birthday dear customer. A shame, really. The weird bear/gorilla/owl creature wearing a sombrero turned out to be some legendary Japanese creature. (Ayla: "I knew it!")

And the next morning, after lingering over coffee a bit with Toccata, who was gracious beyond belief to give up her bedroom, we were off. Our whirlwind trip to Victoria was far too whirlwindy. I would loved to have had more time to kick back and yap with Toccata and Jen, but then I would have been in danger of becoming used to being on an island. And we can't have that, can we?

Coming up - the great BC odyssey pic spam. Pinky swear.

guess what I did first thing this morning?

It's too painful to think about the cherry trees in bloom in Victoria today, so the remainder of my Great BC Odyssey travelogue will have to wait until tomorrow. Even prior to the big overnight snowdump, I was too bummed and too bagged to venture out of the house, even though we had guess passes and everything to the Portico concert. My apologies to Lyn, Mimi, and Greg; I am a poor excuse for a fan.

For today, I am just going to curl up on the chesterfield with a blanket and immerse myself in some comfort music. And who better to sing me through this depressing Sunday than Great Lake Swimmers and Sigur Ros?

Pulling on a Line - Great Lake Swimmers

Starálfur - Sigur Rós

the Great BC Odyssey - walk for eternity day

It's a very good thing that we decided not to walk to Stanley Park on Wednesday, as, according to google maps, that would have taken an extra 2 hours return-trip and as it was we walked for 7 solid hours that day. I believe we successfully burned off the meat orgy from the night previous.

The Vancouver Aquarium was pretty incredible. We watched belugas being fed and dolphins being trained and spent far too much time squealing at the sea otters. Did you know that if you placed your thumb on a sea otter's coat, there would be more hair under your thumb than you have on your entire body? Or that sea otters eat 1/4 their body weight in fish and squid and clams each day? Sign me up to be a sea otter in my next life! The turtles, frogs, and bats were really cool too.

Then I had the bright idea of walking around the seawall the opposite direction from whence we came, in order to see the ocean point before getting back to where we had parked. And hour and a half later, we started getting a wee bit panicky as there was still no sign of the parking lot and we realized that often the seawall was separated from the road (and the car parks) by impenetrable forest and sheer cliffs. Fortunately, after a bit of false backtracking and retracing our steps, we stumbled upon our car, headed back to the hotel for a much needed glass of wine, and headed out again, this time on foot.

In Chinatown, we fought off, in our polite Canadian way, the aggressive salespeople at the gift shop in the Dr Sun Yat-Sen Classical Chinese Gardens. The gardens were much smaller than I imagined they would be, and quite lovely. The Chinese gag gift shop down the street was pretty amazing, although there was a perplexing abundance of Linus Van Pelt and Snoopy paraphernalia.

We then had to cross East Hastings Street (the sad mean streets of Vancouver) in order to get to Gastown. The Spousal Unit thought we intended to actually walk along Hastings, put on his game face and started to march determinedly through the centre of the crack deals.

Gastown was a bit of a disappointment, although we did see a lot of design places, including one featuring elephant-shaped chairs that were mounting each other in a decidedly sexual fashion. Gastown is along the waterfront, but the view is entirely taken up by cargo containers. Now I realise that Vancouver is a working port and that in order for me to get the goods that I expect, the ports need to function, but I think that Gastown should not be touted as a waterfront tourist destination.

We did stop for a coffee, where the Resident Offspring partook of some accidental underage drinking in the form of a specialty coffee. She took advantage of the situation by then immersing herself in the most jammed to the rafters used bookstore I had ever seen. The Spousal Unit left to go back to the hotel, while I waited outside, as the store gave me claustrophobia. We passed through the architecturally amazing Moshe Safdie-designed library on the way back to the hotel, so that made up for it for me.

We had a fantastic seafood supper at Coast restaurant in Yaletown (where we should have wandered instead of Gastown), loads of fresh crab legs, oysters, mussels, lobster, sushi, clams - all chilled and served in a wok mounted on steaming dry ice. Very impressive entrance it made.

We then waddled off to our hotel to get ready for our ferry trip over to Vancouver Island in the morning, pleased with ourselves and our ability to pick a good restaurant.

the Great BC Odyssey - meet/meat day

I have a really good feeling about UBC campus, and am happy to let my baby attend in the fall. It just feels like a good fit. Of course it doesn't hurt that the place is obscenely beautiful, but it's more the feeling of home that I pick up there.

I was quite in awe of the quality and sheer variety of food service, both within the residence and in various locations around campus. When I lived in residence 100 years ago, I remember we got macaroni and cheese and meatloaf, and I don't recall getting any other food. Oh there was jello, but nobody ate it, just stuck the cubes against the wall and watched them race each other down to the floor.

Despite the fact that there are a perplexing number of theme-shaped buildings on campus (a biology building shaped like a cell, a library shaped like an open book, etc), I managed to find a favourite spot. The Asian studies building is surrounded by a very zen-like moat, and you approach it via a path meandering through the rainforest. The peace is almost palpable and I could feel my blood pressure dropping just by being in that spot. It's good to have those spots, to draw upon their memory when you need some peace.

And if that wasn't great enough, we met up with Mel and 668, the Neighbour of the Beast, at the Memphis Blues BBQ Restaurant for supper. Blogger meet-up number 10 and 11, for those of you keeping track. They are every bit as adorable and funny as they seem to be online and it was wonderful to pound back way too much meat with them. The zombie family shared the Elvis platter, which boasts every kind of meat offered on the menu, plus sides of baked beans, coleslaw, fries, and potato salad. There was way too much food and it was all incredible.

The restaurant itself is a funky little place, just hopping with people, crammed into booths or tables and tucking into platters. Blues music keeps your toes tapping and flying pig statues share wall space with photos of musicians. I highly recommend this place if you need to get your meat fix. The Spousal Unit says it was every bit as good as the bbq he ate down in the southern US.

And today, the sun is shining and we are going to Stanley Park. Otter feeding at 11:00!! I can't wait!

the great BC odyssey - Vancouver the first day

It's cold and raining in Vancouver, but at least we don't have to shovel anything. Tomorrow the sun is actually supposed to do a drive-by, so that's when we will do a major walking tour.

The Resident Offspring spent the entire plane trip watching Pineapple Express on her ipod. The Spousal Unit did a very commendable job of navigating Vancouver streets, despite being stuck behind a bus driver in training. And I must say my navigational skills were at their peak.

We are staying right across the road from BC Place or GM Place, I forget which is which, but they are right beside each other. And there's a CBC building right across the street from us too. Maybe we should see if we can get a tour after we are done at the university this afternoon. We could practice our As It Happens ladies voices. Issue, tissue.

We watched the cops take down a guy (and disrupt traffic along Robson) from the window of the curry place where we ate dinner last night. That was nice of them to arrange some entertainment for us.

I am so excited that we are having supper with Mel tonight at a Memphis bbq restaurant. Bring on the meat, yo! It doesn't look as though Deb can make it, but hopefully we can see her at some point on Wednesday. 668 might drop by the restaurant to say hi, though. That'd be cool!

blood shows up so nicely on fresh snow

It probably wasn't the best idea to watch Let the Right One In ( Låt den rätte komma in) last night, as it takes place in Stockholm in winter, and I have had more than enough of winter scenes already. So when I woke up this morning to see that we received about 25 cm of snow overnight and that it continues to snow heavily, it was just about enough to send me over the edge. When I get to Vancouver tomorrow, I better not see a single flake of snow, or I may just have to slap a bitch.

Let the Right One In was not at all what I expected, though. It's actually a very sweet story, considering the amount of blood that is spilled. But what are you going to do when you are a 12-year-old boy whose girlfriend is a vampire?

I was surprised to find that a lot of Swedish words are very close to their German equivalents. Yet another reason why I love subtitles.

I haven't watched all that many Scandinavian films, but I can tell you unequivocally that Icelandic has no resemblance to any other language in the known world. You can't even begin to guess what they are saying. Watch the excellent film, Jar City (Mýrin), if you don't believe me.

Right! Gotta go wash me smalls and start packing. Right after I shovel.

how green is my monkey?

Honoured I am to participate in the latest Green Monkey Music Project, brainchild of Splotchy, and this edition guest-hosted by Bubs. This time around, it's a theme that is near and dear to my heart. It's somewhere we have all been at one point or another, sometimes more often than we care to admit - a place that you know is so bad for you, but feels so good being there.

May I present my selections for the "Man, you know this shit's no good for you" edition, those songs that make you feel like maybe you are contributing to some form of evil just by enjoying them:

Stink | Arab Strap

It's your skin and your breath and your sweat and greasy hair,
the empty cans and makeshift ashtrays everywhere.
Strangers waking up in the Monday morning stink
- of course I feel sick, but it's not why you think.

Song for Clay (Disappear Here) | Bloc Party

We stroll past the queue, into the magazine launch party
I am handed a pill and I swallow it with complete disdain
kick drum pounds off beat high hats remember to look bored
we suck each other's faces and make sure we are noticed
the cocaine won't save you

Tent in Your Pants | Peaches

you lick the pole when it's cold and your tongue'll stick
so keep the party pumpin' and thumpin' and shit
rubbin' the club, legs in between
lovin' the scrub, keepin' it clean
we're gonna wash that pole
we're gonna wash that pole

Dead Man in My Bed | Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

He used to be so good to me, now he smells so fucking bad
there is a dead man in my bed, she said
I keep poking at him with my stick
but his skin is just so fucking thick
there's a dead man in my bed

A Boy and His Machine Gun | Matthew Good Band

don't move stay just like you are
you look sane, motionless like that
so very flat
it's amazing what velocity can do
when human beings are in season
a boy and his machine gun
if you're quiet we might see some

Go here for all the downloads of these songs, plus all those other ones that the devil will be playing as your soul burns in the eternal fires.

Thanks Bubs and Splotchy. Twas great rolling about in the filth with you.

but how would he fare in a zombie apocalypse?

I used to canvass for the Kidney Foundation, but this year I found myself being a Zone Leader instead of a canvasser, which essentially means getting canvassing kits from the Area Captain and distributing them to the canvassers in my zone. The volunteer hierarchy in that organization really does put any Politbureau to shame.

Yesterday I was picking up donations from one of the canvassers, while he was at home looking after his one-year-old while his wife had dental work done. The fact that I know all this about his family indicates just how desperate this guy was to talk to an adult, and then he proceeded to pretty much keep me hostage while he told me all about car maintenance and road survival.

For instance, according to canvasser dude, you should always keep a little tin in your vehicle, filled with kerosene and sand. Then, if you break down on a mountain road or something, you drop the spare tire and place the little tin inside the tire and light it. The tire will catch fire and smolder for days, keeping you warm and giving off a beacon. By burning all five tires, you will have heat and a signal for weeks.

"You're like Survivorman," I told him. "You should have your own tv show!" And then I made my escape.

That conversation got me thinking about tv shows that I never thought I would watch, but which I have become intrigued by. And this being Friday, that means it's time for a Friday Favourite Five list.

Top Five TV Shows I Never Thought I Would Watch But Have Become Intrigued By:

1. Hell's Kitchen (who is Chef Ramsay going to reduce to tears this week?)
2. the aforementioned, Survivorman (no camera crew, no bullshit)
3. RuPaul's Drag Race (fierce and bitchy!)
4. Mantracker (the prey have 36 hours to cross 40 kms through bush & muskeg and not get caught by Mantracker - who's a bit of an asshole - and his partner, who are on horseback)
5. Dr G, Medical Examiner (she has the best chest-cutting face, plus she wears a fanny pack)

Only one of these shows I stumbled upon by myself, the rest I was lured into watching by family members who are bad influences on me. Bonus points to the first person who can guess which show is a bad tempered zombie discovery.

sound the death knell

This just in: Facebook is officially over.

Do you know how I know? Because the Resident Offspring has informed me that she no longer has any objections if I want to get an account. "We never use it anymore, just for gossiping."

Now that it has jumped the shark, it's okay for parents and teachers to move in, apparently. The teenagers are moving on.

And this after Sean even came up with some acronyms for me to use on facebook so that the all powerful one would not find out that I was breaching her borders.

Should I join, or should I wait for the next best thing? I did just join LinkedIn and Blip.fm, after all. My reputation as a non-joiner could be in jeopardy.

You and Whose Army?

How could I refuse when it was so temptingly touted as a decent waste of time? Besides, now that I am recovering from my bout of Myxomatosis or whatever germ binge I was on, it's a nice break from My Iron Lung.

I shamelessly swiped the idea from Kelly, and I notice that Maureen has played as well. I Might Be Wrong, but it looks as though all the cool kids are doing it, yo.

In only 15 Steps, you can jump on the meme train and show your favourite band some love at the same time. Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer these questions.


Pick Your Artist: Radiohead
Are you male or female: No Surprises
Describe yourself: Idioteque
How do you feel about yourself: I am a Wicked Child
Describe where you currently live: Life in a Glasshouse
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Sail to the Moon
Your best friend is: All I Need
Your favorite colour is: Fog
You know that: We Suck Young Blood
What's the weather like?: The Trickster
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?: Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong
What is life to you?: Jigsaw Falling into Place
What is the best advice you have to give?: Everything in its Right Place
If you could change your name, what would it be?: Fitter Happier
Your favorite food is: it's a toss up between Bangers & Mash and Vegetable

And this is Where I End and You Begin. Please play along, Prove Yourself, and I'll be over to read your list with great interest.

like eating glass

The Resident Offspring came home sick on Friday and I succumbed yesterday. The Spousal Unit got the hell out of Dodge on a business trip this morning before he too succumbed to the biohazard waste dump that this house has become.

I'm hoping to nip this in the bud and contain it to merely razor blades in the throat. And hopefully the youngster will bounce back to health before we leave on our trip to Vancouver/Victoria on Monday.

The Resident Offspring and I are never usually sick at the same time, so this is the first time that I have curled up on the chesterfield and watched daytime tv with her. Three hours of RuPaul's Drag Race sure makes you forget that you are on the verge of death. What a fierce show!

The pictures that my sister-in-law and brother sent the other day also give me the desire to stay alive. They took some photos of the cottage that we are having built in Manitoba.

Come August, that baby is going to be moved to our little patch of lakefront there and we will become familiar with all the social activities that Oakburn has to offer. Let's see, there's bingo at the community hall and you can rent dvds at the grocery/liquor store. Good times, good times.

these truths I learned at the Brier

- I would kill to have one of those UPS curling rock hats that I saw on those ladies I was chatting to in the washroom.

- the camera really does add 10 lbs.

- you can avoid heartbreak even if you are cheering for both teams who are playing one another because in curling, you cheer a good shot, no matter who makes it.

- whoever was supposed to change the hammer signal on Thursday morning either did not show up for work, or is either an incompetent or lazy fucker. That thing never got changed on the scoreboard.

- it takes a while to train your eyes to follow four games at one time, but you can do it!

- the curling crowd audience is much quieter, but more knowledgeable, than the hockey crowd audience.

- I did get the chance to yell out "yo Charleswood!" and I didn't even feel like as much of an asshole as that heckler a couple of rows in front of us who stopped chomping on his sausage long enough to demand if the Manitoba team intended to "show up for the second half". He got glared at quizzically by the Manitoba lead (considering that Manitoba was winning) and the rest of us just gave a collective shrug.

- the coffee sold at the Tim Horton's Brier is not Tim Horton's.

- Brier audiences have got to be among the most knowledgeable in the world. At one point, I looked around the stands and I can't even tell you how many pairs of arms I saw up-stretched, pointing toward the house depicted on the megatron, and drawing out shot strategies in the air.

- the curling sheets are a lot narrower than they look on tv. I'd throw the damned rock into the next sheet, for sure.

- the Brier Patch is a just dark drinking hole with no aesthetic qualities whatsoever. It's a massive barn-like darkened room that holds 4,000 people at long rows of tables. And yet some people spend the entire 10 days of the Brier there. Waste. Of. Ticket.

- I would definitely go to the Brier again. Anywhere, anytime. It's in Halifax next year. Hmmm.

And if you would indulge my Canadianity for a few more minutes, here is the only real curling song in existence, the wonderful Weakerthans with Tournament of Hearts:

practicing my trash talking, my rim rolling, and my cowbelling

We're going to the Brier tomorrow morning!

How can you not go to the Brier when it's being held in your hometown this year, when all that hurrying hard and whoaing is going on not a half hour drive from your house?

Tomorrow is the final day of the round robin, and while we will not be seeing the awesome lung power of Russ Howard in action, we will be seeing four great draws:

Sheet A: Manitoba vs Newfoundland & Labrador
Sheet B: PEI vs Northern Ontario
Sheet C: Nova Scotia vs Ontario
Sheet D: Yukon/Northwest Territories vs BC

The game on sheet A is going to kill me, as it is my two favourite teams playing each other. How will I decide for whom to cheer? Newfoundland & Labrador is a great young team, fun to watch and Olympic Gold medalists, but the Manitoba rink curls out of the Charleswood Curling Club in Winnipeg, right next door to my old high school. Charleswood represent!

I may just plotz.

And since neither the Spousal Unit nor I have ever been to a Brier before, we may pop into the infamous Brier Patch for a quick lunch and a wee nip after the curling. I just hope we don't get ambushed by the Morning Class, who are a bunch of Thunder Bay senior citizens who have been forcing gin collinses on innocent victims for the past 48 Briers. At 7:30 in the morning.

I'm planning to stick to Tim Hortons coffee myself.

no time to write a post?

Fortunately someone else will always step up to the plate for you.

In my case, Green Plastic Radiohead posted some heartwarmingly lovely video footage that the kids from the USC Trojans Marching Band put together to commemorate the night they played with Radiohead at the Grammys. It is so worth watching, especially the still at the very end, in which Thom and Jonny pose with the entire group and they are all making peace symbols.

But my very favourite bit comes in at about 6:25, when the band starts playing some marching band song and Thom starts dancing like only he can. The man just can't help himself, evidently! He's got the music in him.

I love those kids, they are fresh and funny and awesomely talented, and I hope that night will always remain a magical moment for them.

the Sex Pistols:

a) were the world's first manufactured boy band

b) were cultural icons who spat in the face of convention and changed the path of modern music

c) included a murderer among its members

d) were victims of the greed and incompetence of Malcolm McLaren and Vivienne Westwood

I'm not sure if I know the definitive answer, but I did just review John Lydon's autobiography Lydon: No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs. Check it out over at the Bookworm Collective, yo.

spot the Canadian

Okay, is it just me or are Joshua Jackson and Ewan McGregor looking practically IDENTICAL these days? Seriously, you put them both in a paper bag, shake it up and draw one out and I'll bet you couldn't tell me which one it was.

Maybe it's the motorcycle thing.


Speaking of which, I find myself really wanting to see One Week, the movie in which Joshua Jackson (not Ewan McGregor) rides a vintage motorcycle across Canada. The trailer strikes me as being so quintessentially Canadian; I mean he rolls up the rim, fer Christ's sake! I have never seen that captured in film before, yet every Canadian ever born knows exactly what you mean when you say that.

And don't we all stop to get our picture taken beside the giant Moose at Moose Jaw, the giant nickel at Sudbury, the giant goose at Wawa, Husky the giant muskie at Kenora, the giant Ukrainian easter egg at Vegreville, or the giant perogy with the fork in it at Glendon? Of course we do. And yet we hardly ever see these icons depicted in film either. (Although humourist WIll Ferguson has done a credible job of cataloguing these marvels)

Besides, Gord Downie of the Tragically Hip (talk about your quintessential Canadian), Joel Plaskett (the nicest guy in rock), and Emm Gryner all make appearances in the film.

I wonder, though, if this sort of film only appeals to the hosers among us or if One Week is the sort of film that my non-Canadian friends would be keen to watch as well?

I also wonder how many giant highway statues you have seen on your travels?

you know what really grinds my gears?

1. how there were no Leonard Cohen concert tickets available at 10:01 am Monday, when they went on sale at 10:00 am Monday. But there was a convenient link to a "Marketplace" where you could buy tickets for up to $800 each.

It's great that Ticketmaster is no longer directing people to TicketsNow, though - the scalping site they own. Pat yourself on the back, Ticketmaster. You are a model of corporate accountability and good business.

2. how Great Lake Swimmers are playing a concert in Calgary while we are in Vancouver and a concert in Vancouver when we are back in Calgary.

3. how the newspaper delivery person has taken to tossing our paper into the bushes lately. When it gets delivered at all, that is. We used to have such a nice delivery person too, but I guess nobody wants to work outside at 5:00 on a winter morning for very long.

You know what was really great, though? Pyjama Day yesterday.

It was a nasty fucking day, icy and snowy with a biting cold wind. The Resident Offspring was a giant head of snot, and the Spousal Unit was working at home, so we all stayed home and watched four crazy-assed jack rabbits chase each other up and down the block for a good hour. It was way better than tv, and I felt like we were in an episode of Corner Gas.

Those rabbits are regulars around here, but I have never seen them move this fast before. They were airborne for a good 20 feet at a time, I kid you not. And then they played hide and go seek around our front porch and I wanted to let them in the house so that Sputty could play with them, but my suggestion was voted down. Spoil sports.

What's been grinding your gears?

pass the paint-by-number set

I'm thinking maybe I should start with big-eyed kitties or bowls of fruit.

But by popular request, I shall now show you the Fallingwater painting that I started on the Martha womanly weekend. I was warned that it was quite a challenging picture with which to make an initial stab at watercolour. Last weekend, I kept adding bits to it until I had sufficiently wrecked it.

It's not that horrible, you exclaim, it looks as though it could have been traced. That's because it was. We first traced our outlines with graphite paper and then inked it in and then painted. So, in essence, it was very paint-by-numberly.

It was my first time using our scanner today too (I know, I should really venture out the cave more), and I am not happy with the results. Everything seems rather washed out, the colours in my painting are actually quite saturated. You'll just have to come to my place for a viewing. Or gaze upon this photograph of the real thing instead.

~*~
Is anybody else utterly pleased that Spinal Tap is going to be touring North America? And yes, they are bringing with them the 18 inch Stonehenge.