Tuesday, June 02, 2009

that would explain the funny smell in the basement

This is all the remained after the junk removal guys took the battered old chesterfield out of the basement today. We may never find the rest of her body.

RIP, Barbie.

But wait, the plot thickens. Upon later removing the pile of junk that resided behind the battered old chesterfield, I made another grizzly discovery.

Now, I am no forensics expert, but judging from the similarities in size and structure and the right and left handedness, I would say we are dealing with a single victim here. No need to issue a serial killer alert at this point.

But I am very glad to get the body parts and other crap out of my basement and my garage. I'm not sure that the cat is quite as thrilled as it is now becoming apparent that the twilight zone behind that same battered chesterfield was also a favourite puking spot for her.

I feel so liberated with all that stuff gone. Sure, it took me a year to finally purge those crap purgatories, and I had to pay the 1-800-GOTJUNK guys (who were great, by the way) to take it all away, but I really feel like I am now floating in a vast calm sea of endless possibility. The shackles have been removed from my ankles and I can float effortlessly out to that island over there, the one with the rum drinks and the dub band.

Have you gotten rid of anything lately that no longer suits your life?

16 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

Oh, you CSI you!

I got rid of a husband 4 years ago. Does that count?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh yeah, that certainly counts, Wandering Coyote. In fact that makes you the ultimate purger!

kelly said...

yes i did...gave away a pool table

John Mutford said...

Did the offspring own a Dexter doll at any point?

Charlie said...

I got rid of a tooth last night—granted, it didn't take up much room (like WC's husband), but I was attached to it for a long time before it became detached.

Allison said...

Ha ha! That is awesome. I bet the cat is hiding the head. ;)

I am feeling the need to purge too (funny, as my belongings fit in one room). Papers and the miscellaneous take up too much space for me. We amass clutter so easily, don't we?

bloody awful poetry said...

I intend to dispose of all childish things. Like. Uh. My Enid Blyton books (a lot of which are plain sucky anyway) but you get so attached to that shit.

Karen's Mouth said...

A kitchen. Tore it off the walls, passed it over the garden fence to the neighbour, gone. Lovely.

Will said...

Dexter season one may be playing itself out all over again.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Your hustling days are behind you, Kelly? Wasn't that your pension money?

No, but there was one by the name of Chucky, John.

And suddenly you didn't feel that attachment anymore, Charlie. It's funny how emotions can turn so quickly.

It wouldn't be the first time she hid a head from me, Al! Don't you feel so much better with no clutter? Piles of crap are oppressive.

That's my next project, BAP. Well not Enid Blyton, as we have none, but we do have lots of toddler books still. And now that I can actually REACH them, they are going to a better home.

Wow, you are some kind of super woman, Kees! Ripped the kitchen cupboard right off the wall with your bare hands! I am in sheer awe at your awesomeness.

I don't even want to think about what other secrets my basement is waiting to spring on me, Will. How have you been, anyway? Good to see you!

Karen's Mouth said...

Er yeah well kind of watched and instructed husband on best way of ripping kitchen right off the wall. I did however set about emptying all the contents of the drawers in a big pile on the floor so we could palm them off too. I have my uses.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Emptying drawers is very important, don't kid yourself, Kees.

leazwell said...

I think it says a lot about what cats know of us cuz every cat I've ever known uses the couch as vomit cover.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

And they will always choose the carpet over any other type of flooring too, Leazwell.

Gifted Typist said...

It's funny how a body part here and a body part there doesn't douse the joy of the purge.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

It's worth it if only to get those body parts out of the basement, Gifted. The extra space is rather lovely too.