Thursday, June 04, 2009

not mad, just disappointed

I was quite looking forward to my dental appointment today. Not because I'm all that into the whole torture porn thing; I can do without having my mouth stretched open while a masked person jabs and scrapes my pearlies with sharp pointy things.

No, I go for the eyebrows.

After my session with the hygienist (gold star, thanks for asking), I settled back in the chair to await the arrival of the dentist, quite keen for my bi-annual viewing of those miracles of randomness that grace his face. Those eyebrows, comprised of wildly corkscrewing hairs, each about two inches long, each a distinctly different shade of white or black or grey, are all the entertainment you need to take your mind off the fact that some dude is poking around in your gums. Those furry caterpillars have a life of their own.

So it was with shock and dismay that I looked up into his face as he leaned over my chair, and all I could see were two neatly trimmed generic eyebrows.
It looks as though my dentist has taken up reading those men's grooming magazines, perhaps even made a trip to the spa. They've stolen all the personality from his face.

The wild west really is over.

14 comments:

mister anchovy said...

The same person has cut my hair for a long time, and she gives me perfectly fine haircuts, but she insists on trimming the my eyebrows. I know I have some crazy eyebrows if only I were left free to grow them for a couple years. My father's eyebrows were nothing short of spectalar, and I do believe I have the crazy eyebrow gene.

I have a habit of falling asleep in the dental chair. I think it is because my hygenist is so gentle. I realize I've done it when she elbows me and says, "open up please Mister Anchovy".

Barbara Bruederlin said...

My hygienist is pretty gentle, but I can honestly say I have never fallen asleep under her watch, Mr Anchovy. I'm too busy looking at her eyebrows.
You really should consider letting your forehead furniture grow out for a bit, just to see what evolves!

BeckEye said...

I guess once Susan Boyle started plucking hers, he figured he'd better get on his.

Allison said...

My grade seven teacher had the best eyebrows of all time. At least an inch long and curled at the ends. Ah, I miss those guys. I think we use to call him Velcro.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Your suspicions could be grounded, Beckeye, as I swore I heard him humming something from Cats under his breath. Thanks a lot Susan Boyle for ruining my dental experience for me!

HA! Velcro! Did you ever have the chance to test out the name, Al?

Todd said...

haha - too funny. But maybe it was done out of necessity? Maybe they got so out of control that they started to tickle the patients while being examined.

Did you mention it? Or did you mourn the loss of this wild hair in silence?

John Mutford said...

Ah the metrosexicus dentricus has made yet another appearance...

Volly said...

So, who got that gold star? The hygienist for being humane, or you for not squirming, screaming or biting? (LOL). I've walked out on more dentists because of their psycho hygienists than I wish to recall. I seem to luck out with them.

Sorry about the loss of visual effects - I suspect a blonde and a red Corvette to go with your dentist's new look...
:(

Sean Wraight said...

I once had a professor who had so much hair growing out of his ears they resembled 'furry headphones'. Kind of a Prince Leia if you will... He was one of my favourites, perhaps because of just that. Funny how we develop these follicle sentiments... Must be a evolutionary thing.

s

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I really should have said something, Todd, but I felt like I didn't even know him anymore.
Personally I was never tickled by said eye appendages, but I cannot vouch for the rest of his patients.

I knew there had to be a Latin name for the condition, John. All the cool ailments have Latin names.

My hygienist is really nice, Volly, she only drew blood once.
I think he might have already had a red Corvette, but no word on the blonde status.

You wonder, though, how much attention the students actually pay to what these hirsute profs are saying, Sean. I would be too busy staring in wonder to really listen.
I had a prof who used to fall asleep, leaning on the lectern, with a hangover.

leazwell said...

I remember being in the dental chair as a kid and all I recall seeing were the nasal hairs....

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Ewwww, that's enough to scar you for life, Leazwell. I'll take eyebrows over nose hairs any day.

Gifted Typist said...

groomed men are creepy - come to think of it so are groomed women in those magazines

haha, my word verification is here is

robsters

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh THOSE magazines, Gifted!