Sunday, May 31, 2009

don't be hatin

After a few days of convocating and enabling birthday parties and post sleep-over laundry and being struck by seasonal non-sleeping disorder, I surprised the hell out of myself by doing actual work this afternoon. If today's efforts come to fruition, it could very well result in my most high profile interview to date.

So rather than tackling the stack of unread newspapers (begging the question how long is it still news) or figuring out for the umpteenth spring how to hook up the rain barrel, I thought I would indulge in a meme shamelessly swiped from the fabulous Bloody Awful Poetry.

It's all about HATE and I loves me some righteous HATE.

1. Most Hated Food
I like food, and there is very little that I will not eat, with two exceptions: creamed corn and sea cucumber, the first a little too reminiscent of baby poop, the second, of snot.

2. Most Hated Person
In the whole world? That's tough. Even Kim Jong Il has his humourous moments.

That said, I still cannot look that toady assistant Safeway manager in the eye after he told me that "once you leave the store, it's not our responsibility" when all I asked him was where do I find the mall manager to tell her about the hole in the parking lot in which I sprained my ankle.

Come to think of it, that hole is still there, two years after I went up to her office on crutches to tell the mall manager about it, so she's on my shit list too.

3. Most Hated Job

My first job after grad school - selling animal feed north of Toronto. It was bad enough that I left my hometown (although I did leave for love), but I was assigned a sales territory far from my amour, plus during my training session, I had to catch chickens for two days. I learned that chickens have the scaliest legs imaginable, which will rip the shit out of your hands. I learned this because I was not given any gloves to use and had to wear the little woolen mittens that my mom had knitted for me.

Maple Leaf Foods are miserable fuckers.

4. Most Hated City
Kelowna. It doesn't need to be that freaking hot or that tacky.

5. Most Hated Band
Wings. Or Van Halen. Take your pick.

6 - Most hated website.
They're just websites. Zeros and ones.

7 - Most hated TV program.
Extreme Home Makeover. That host who looks like an alcoholic isn't happy until everybody cries.

9 - Most hated British politician.
Since somebody forgot about a #8, I will instead tell you about the thing I hate most about the renovations in my neighbourhood Safeway. The new carts with the cup holder that gets in the way of loading and unloading. My life is so hard.

Oh, Margaret Thatcher.

10 - Most hated artist
Who hates artists?

Hitler, I suppose.

11 - Most hated book.
Multivariable Calculus.

12 - Most hated shop.
I have a disdain/hate affair going on with my neighbourhood Safeway. I like all the cashiers and the produce guy, though.

13 - Most hated organisation.
Take your pick from any number of far right Neocon with religious leanings organizations.

14 - Most hated historical event.
The day I hurt my back just before Christmas and ended up a cripple for 6 weeks.

Oh. You mean worldwide historical events? How do you chose? A good 65% of them are bad.

15 - Most hated sport.
I don't really hate any sports, although I have a hard time not laughing at the soft core gay porn Ultimate Fighter that the Spousal Unit watches.

16 - Most hated piece of technology.
Leaf blowers. Or those keys that honk when you lock the car door from a distance.

17 - Most hated annual event.
Even though we keep at least one snow shovel outside the back door throughout the year (just in case), the day that all the snow shovels come back out of the garage and get placed beside the front and back doors for the next 8 months, that day I die a little inside.

18 - Most hated daily task.
Cleaning up after supper. Every. Single. Day.

19 - Most hated comedian.
I can't decide among Carrot Top, Tom Green, or Pauly Shore. Kill them all.

This was more fun than it should have been. Consider yourself tagged, if people still do that sort of thing.


Allison said...

Leaf blowers are a waste of space. Agreed!!

I think I share your love/hate relationship with Safeway.

This was fun to read, I might have to give it a try.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Don't tell me that all Safeways are like that, Al! I was clinging onto the belief that somewhere there was a really good Safeway waiting for me.

I'd love to read about your hatreds! It's fun to be a hatah!

glassmeow said...

What? No Whole Foods in Canada? :P

BeckEye said...

I have a lot of hate inside of me. I may have to steal this.

No, wait. I can't. I hate memes!

Wandering Coyote said...

I am so with you on the leafblowers! My neighbours both have them and they use them to blow their decks! WTF?

I might take this one up later today.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Not around here anyway, Glassmeow, although there are Extra Foods and Save On Foods, both of which I find hilarious, for some reason, especially the Extra Foods. I envision them throwing a free pork chop into each bag.

It's the perfect storm of Hate, Beckeye. I can't wait to see which need is stronger.

I envision you trapped between your neighbours, Wandering Coyote, each of them blowing leaves off their deck onto yours. That's when you get yourself a pet cougar.

Jas B said...

I'd say I hate Carrot Top, I mean I would shred him to pieces, he is so ridiculous.

I hate Tom Cruise as well and I don't even know why!

Gifted Typist said...

How do you feel about leaf blowers when they're on sucker mode? I've been using to clean up paint chips after scraping barn - quite useful

Barbara Bruederlin said...

And he's not even a comedian, Jas, although he is pretty unintentionally hilarious.

Well, that's essentially a vacuum cleaner, Gifted. I've got no beefs with vacuum cleaners, they actually do something useful. (So I still love you)

kelly said...

Cream corn on mashed potatoes yumm....although it really sounds like old people food.

I really don't like the heat of Kelowna but, off the main strip there are some beautiful areas and up in the hills along the Kettle Valley Railway...amazing hiking and biking.

I seem to have a thign for not liking what I call B-bands...Bee Gees, Beatles and Beach Boys.

And I really can relate to the dishes thing

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I think I'll save your creamed corn and mashed potatoes cuisine for when I am toothless and drooling, Kelly. Maybe with a little hot sauce it will be edible.
I guess when I was in Kelowna, I only saw the insanely hot strip malls and that beach with the 950 degree sand and the speedboats roaring by. Didn't leave me with the best impression.