Friday, March 20, 2009

but how would he fare in a zombie apocalypse?

I used to canvass for the Kidney Foundation, but this year I found myself being a Zone Leader instead of a canvasser, which essentially means getting canvassing kits from the Area Captain and distributing them to the canvassers in my zone. The volunteer hierarchy in that organization really does put any Politbureau to shame.

Yesterday I was picking up donations from one of the canvassers, while he was at home looking after his one-year-old while his wife had dental work done. The fact that I know all this about his family indicates just how desperate this guy was to talk to an adult, and then he
proceeded to pretty much keep me hostage while he told me all about car maintenance and road survival.

For instance, according to canvasser dude, you should always keep a little tin in your vehicle, filled with kerosene and sand. Then, if you break down on a mountain road or something, you drop the spare tire and place the little tin inside the tire and light it. The tire will catch fire and smolder for days, keeping you warm and giving off a beacon. By burning all five tires, you
will have heat and a signal for weeks.

"You're like Survivorman," I told him. "You should have your own tv show!" And then I made
my escape.

That conversation got me thinking about tv shows that I never thought I would watch, but which I have become intrigued by. And this being Friday, that means it's time for a Friday Favourite Five list.

Top Five TV Shows I Never Thought I Would Watch But Have Become Intrigued By:

1. Hell's Kitchen (who is Chef Ramsay going to reduce to tears this week?)
2. the aforementioned, Survivorman (no camera crew, no bullshit)
3. RuPaul's Drag Race (fierce and bitchy!)
4. Mantracker (the prey have 36 hours to cross 40 kms through bush & muskeg and not get caught by Mantracker - who's a bit of an asshole - and his partner, who are on horseback)
5. Dr G, Medical Examiner (she
has the best chest-cutting face, plus she wears a fanny pack)

Only one of these shows I stumbled upon by myself, the rest I was lured into watching by family members who are bad influences on me. Bonus points to the first person who can guess which show is a bad tempered zombie discovery.


bloody awful poetry said...

I think maybe you discovered Mantracker on your own. Just cause it has the longest description. Yes? Yes?

Oh and you should totally check out Man vs Wild. The dude gets himself stranded in places like Siberia and shit, and he eats raw yak liver and uncooked snake and drinks distilled water he makes out of his own urine. It's insane.

Allison said...

I'm going to go with Dr. G, Medical Examiner.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Nope, not Mantracker,BAP, but I like your thought process.
Man vs Wild sounds a lot like Survivorman, actually! He eats raw seal eyeballs and termites and shit, it's awesome. And he's a real McGuyver type, can make a jet plane out of a smashed camera.

Excellent guess, given my medicine background, Al, but nope.

Allison said...

Has to be the Survivorman you're incorporating it into other responses... ;)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Good strategy, Al, but no, not Survivorman. You are so close now!

Allison said...

Haha! Yes, well, process of elimination now, eh. Your pick surprises me. Interesting. :)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

hahaha well done, Al and kudos for hanging in there.

I surprised myself by falling for this show! Stumbled upon it quite by accident and was mesmerized by the sheer drama.

Anonymous said...

how bout a new show "Mantracker vs. Drag Race"?

Anonymous said...

or RuPAul's Drag Queens survivor(man?)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

And may the best Survivorwoman win! Love them all, Kelly. Why are you not in charge of tv programming?

rachael chatoor said...

My cousin just introduced me to Mantracker and I have been catching a few of the clips on You Tube, I LOVE the show, I want to play for the glory!