Saturday, February 28, 2009

still smoking hot at 11

Red: Do you know what today is?
Dale: Tuesday.
Red: This is my cat's birthday today.
Dale: I don't see a cat in here. I'm sorry. Did I let it out by accident?
Red: No, because he died three months ago, okay? So now who's the funny guy?
Dale: I'm sorry?
Red: Today is his birthday and it is a tradition that on his birthday I get up extra early and make him his favorite kind of dessert.
Dale: Don't worry, bro. Your cat's going to heaven.
Red: Yeah, maybe. Maybe he went to heaven. He was a little fucker. He could've gone to hell.
It actually is my cat's birthday today. She's not really a little fucker, unlike Red's cat, but she has been known to be an asshole on occasion. But that's just part of being cat.

I just hope I look half this good when I turn eleven.

Happy Birthday, Sputnik!
Sputnik would like you to know that I have located pdfs of a couple more articles that I published a few months ago, and I have added the links to the list on the sidebar, in case you are desperate for something to read.
There will be some reviews coming up here shortly, for the latest play I saw and the most recent book I read. If I were on Twitter, the reviews would read like this, respectively: chilling, outrageous. But I'm not on Twitter, so you'll have to put up with considerably more words from me. Sorry.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Happy birthday kitty boo!

Anonymous said...

whats the difference between a little fucker and an asshole?

Dale said...

Thank heaven for lots and lots of words (especially when you've put them together. Love, Dale (known to be an asshole on many occasions)

Happy Birthday Sigue Sigue!

mister anchovy said...

Imagine if one day Twitter was everything. I'm breaking into a cold sweat.

Allison said...

Happy Birthday to Sputnik. I hope she's given lots of tissue to play amongst. :)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I call her that sometimes too, Dr M!

It's a subtle difference, Kelly, but a little fucker is always looking for trouble, whereas an asshole is just periodically an arrogant idiot. At least the way I see it.

I like assholes, Dale, they remind me of my cat. That must be why I like you so much.

That's terrifying, Mr Anchovy, it makes me want to keep talking and talking and talking.

And we have loads of tissue paper too, Al, thanks to a dear friend of mine. Sputnik shall play and play.

bloody awful poetry said...

Awww, happy birthday to the Zombie Cat! And it certainly does look like a little asshole, if you don't mind me saying. Or maybe it's because I cannot stand cats in general.

Joe said...

Happy cat birthday!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I can't really be offended when I call her an asshole myself, can I, BAP? Besides, it's you, how can I possibly be offended?

Cat birthdays are the best, Bubs, you give them a crinkly plastic bag and you're all set.

glassmeow said...

Happy Birthday Sputnik!

We hope your humans cater to your every whim today (like they don't always?) :P

Love from the Tabby Boys, Salvador and Spencer



Anonymous said...

so I guess I'm a little fucker....but i don't look for just finds me

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Awwwm, I love tabbies, Glassmeow, they are so gorgeous! Especially the ones with the noses that look like eraser tips.
Fear not, Sputty was well and truly spoiled. As always.

So you are an innocent little fucker then, Kelly.

Remi said...

Like I said to the clerk the last time I bought a cell phone - I don't twitter and I don't text. I just don't feel the need to be that connected to people.

I will take the high road and wish your cat well though, truth be told, the only warm feelings I've ever really felt for cats are tied up in two Weakerthans songs.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh Virtute! She breaks my heart, she does. Thanks, Remi.

Will said...

happy birthday sputnik!!!!!! Ivie's birthday is coming up in a week or so. Oh, can you send us some cute cat pictures??? perhaps later i will write sputnik a rap.

Gifted Typist said...

Sweet zombie feline

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Sputnik would be utterly chuffed to receive a patented Will.he.are rap! Lucky cat!

I shall scrounge up some cute pix of her and send them along. She is very honoured to be considered for the cute cat pages.

I hope Ivie has the happiest of birthdays, and gets spoiled insanely.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

A fierce zombie feline, too, Gifted.


I'm honoured that I met THE SPUTNIK in person.... and lived to tell about it!

Happy 77th Sputnik!

Anonymous said...

I love a pet party!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

At least she didn't have your whole hand in her mouth, as the MIL claims to have happened to her, UB.

Me too, Leazwell, they are so lovely and low-key.