I've been meaning to clean the kitchen cupboards for about ten years. In fact, it is chore #14 on my Lazy Unemployed Bastard list. We have the misfortune of having white kitchen cupboards, so that every spot of grease and every fleck of dust, and especially every long stringy smear of greasy dust is highly visible.
We are having a party in a couple of weeks, and you know that everybody will end up in the kitchen, because everybody always does, so I figured I would be proactive and clean the damn things, from the top down. I've got all this cut-glass crap sitting on the bulkhead above the cupboards, which were all disturbingly opaque, so I climbed up and hauled everything down and washed it all. And while I was up there, face inches from the ceiling, I could suddenly see the stringers of greasy dust hanging down from the stipple ceiling.
What asshat invented stipple ceilings anyway? There is no easy way to clean it. So I hauled out the vacuum cleaner and started trying to suck those greasy stringers off the ceiling, while still standing up on the kitchen counter. I really should have attempted this with both feet flat on the floor, because when I inadvertently pressed my arm against the halogen tracklight, I almost fell into the sink. I'm not sure if I felt the searing pain or smelled the charred flesh first, but I can tell you that those halogen fuckers are really really hot.
I now have a 2 inch by 1/3 inch strip of blistering flesh on my forearm and I look pretty bad-ass, if I do say so myself.
We may just go with the filthy toilet idea for the party, though.