Wednesday, September 17, 2008

are demons really that stupid?

We were indulging in one of our guilty pleasures the other night, numbing our minds with a couple of episodes of Paranormal State, and at one client's house they used this super-duper voice enhancer thingy that takes the electrical vibrations from ectoplasm or some such thing (didn't really catch the science on it) and transmits it into a human voice. I believe they are selling them at Canadian Tire now.

During the show's highlight, Dead Time, the bad-ass spirit that was haunting this house started thumping and banging around, so the paranormal researchers turned on the voice enhancer gadget and started asking it questions. And the stupid spirit ended up spilling the beans that he was a demon and that he was worried they were going to bring a priest to the house and exorcise him! Which is exactly what they did. Duh! Tell you what, a demon that dumb doesn't deserve to live.

I received the most awesomely spectacular care package from the fabulous Phlegmfatale on
Sunday. It was so special that Canada Post obviously felt that it deserved a weekend delivery, which is odd because we generally don't even get mail on a Friday. (I am sure you are all admiring how deftly I sneaked a Radiohead reference in there)

It was chocka block, I tell you. So if you see me swanning around town in a graffiti artist t-shirt accessorized by a piece of custom jewelry, wearing bacon bandages and zit tattoos whilst reading Unlovable books and listening to an Emma Pollock cd, you'll know I have been dipping into my Texas care package. I'm sure you are all insanely jealous of me right now; I know I would be.

The urban assault vehicle has been rocking to the sounds of Soft Airplane all week. Official zombie review of Chad VanGaalen's hot new cd coming up.


Remi said...

I'd feel kind of ripped off getting haunted by a stupid demon. It would somehow cheapen everything.

I hadn't heard of Chad VanGaalen until yesterday when I made the trek to Soundscapes (Toronto's best cd shop) looking for something new. I listened to it a bit and almost picked it up but decided to hold off until next time.

Westcoast Walker said...

maybe a stupid demon would be fun - you could take him out at parties and get him to do tricks, and if he doesn't obey just show him that picture of Father Ted, and that will remind him who the boss is!

ooh BTW - I tagged you for a music meme, so please do indulge me.

bloody awful poetry said...

A demon that dumb sure doesn't deserve to live. Although technically demons don't actually "live", I think. Maybe it doesn't deserve to exist, or doesn't deserve to uhm...demonize people in a demonic way by doing demon-ish demonlike acts of demonism. Yeah.

Remi said...

There's nothing like pulling out the stupid demon tricks at a party. Who needs twister?

BeckEye said...

I remember a while back seeing this really lame movie, Witchboard, in which Patch from Days of Our Lives and Tawny Kitaen contacted spirits with a Ouija board. According to this movie, spirits are bad spellers. If I wasn't already afraid of death before seeing that movie, I sure was afterwards. I don't want to spend eternity in an afterlife where everyone spells "lose" as "loose" or "definitely" as "definately."

Barbara Bruederlin said...

It would be more than a little insulting, wouldn't it, Remi? I'd be wondering why it chose me.
Chad VanGaalen is a genius, and the best thing that ever came out of Calgary. You really should get his new cd, it's going to be one of the top cds of the year, I believe. And if you like it, I highly recommend getting his first one, Infiniheart.

I agree, Westcoast, every good demon should have a couple of party tricks, even the dumb ones. After all, that's pretty much what they do, isn't it?
A music meme? I am so there. Be right over.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like much of a life to me, either, BAP, maybe that's why they are always in such a bad mood. Hence the demonizing.

Although Twister with demons could be kinda cool, Remi. Challenging anyway.

That would certainly fit into my notion of hell as well, Beckeye. Maybe the demons that are all pissed off and demonizing people are the ones that have been driven bat-shit crazy by the bad speller demons. I could easily see that happening.

mister anchovy said...

I haven't played twister in years. I bet its more fun at a party than dumb demons.

Anonymous said...

Man! You guys do all the cool stuff.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'm not even sure I could do Twister anymore, Mister Anchovy. I might have better luck with the dumb demons.

hahaha I am assuming you are not referring to the tv watching part, Justrun. Although I have to admit, we are pretty good at that part.

justacoolcat said...

Wow, you hit the jackpot with the care package.

That Canadian post office sounds a lot like ours. We've been getting our mail in little piles that they save up, rather than deliver everyday like they're supposed to.

Bridget Jones said...

Have watched that show and others like it. All they are is people looking startled in the dark. yawn.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

But it must be such a joyous occasion for you when you do get that nice big bundle of credit card offers and hydro bills, Just A. Sort of like Christmas.

And then they replay all the startled scenes about three times, Bridget. This is why the show remains a GUILTY pleasure.

phlegmfatale said...

I'm glad you enjoyed all the loot!

Those ghosty show things just depress me. What is wrong with people? Sheesh.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I actually find them rather hilarious, Phlegmmy, but I think that is probably a personality disorder.