Monday, August 04, 2008

trends that have gone too far

1. number of blades on a razor
Five blades? That's just retarded. How many blades can you possibly add to a single swipe of your facial or bodily hair before you are just splitting hairs, if you'll pardon the expression?

2. ribbon decals on vehicles
First it was pink for fighting breast cancer, then yellow for troop support, and then all hell broke loose and the rainbow exploded. This afternoon, I saw a white ribbon on the back of a minivan which read "I love my mastiff". That is not a cause.

3. flavoured toothpaste
Mint was bad enough, but now we are assaulted with orange and lemon and god knows what all else. Bacon and piña colada no doubt.

4. Multi-step skin care
No! I will not buy a toner to put over the day cream which goes on after the serum. That's too much stuff. Just accept the fact that I am getting old, damn it.

What trends have you had enough of?



I hate those kids with wheelie shoes. I always have the urge to trip them. Either that or just kick them really hard in the shins. Cuz I'm nice like that.

mellowlee said...

Oh, I agree with you on all of yours. Especially the razor thing! Hmm Crocs really bug the shit out of me. I've heard stories about kids getting stuck in escalators wearing those ridiculous things!

Anonymous said...

No go on mint toothpaste?!?! I love it. I am ok with that baking soda toothpaste business, but I like mint because it tastes less weird and stale. I agree that that should be the end though ... have you heard of that bacon salt stuff? you can put it on anything. I bet they really are making bacon toothpaste somewhere.

Also the tag "the bandwagon is full so get off" is probably the best thing in El Blogosphere.

I hope you have recovered from the folk festival. Nice work on that stage names contest! I wish I had something to give away. Next time it will be a real contest.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, and I agree with Mellowlee. Crocs are the WORST TREND EVER. Also those tentlike shirts girls are wearing, the ones that were really popular last summer especially? What the hell-ass is that? It makes everybody look pregnant. I also dislike bubble dresses (the ones with the elastic around the bottom that make them poof out). And wedge shoes, but I think I am alone on that one.

Conky said...

toothpaste is vile...i never brushed my teeth as a kid bc the mint TP made me nauseous.

i use cinnamin...its the least offensive to my taste buds

other friuty shit is just wrong.

as 4 razots..i just cheaped out and bought 2 bladed ones and am missing a large piece of my leg this if theyll make 55 bladed razors that dont kill me ILL BUY EM!

Conky said...




i love how my spelling improves the second I hit POST....

bloody awful poetry said...

I'm not sure if they count as a trend, but I hate camera phones (mainly because I don't have one myself) and guyliner - which isn't a new thing but I still hate it- and the cool kids at shopping malls wearing tights, jeans, skirts and sweaters. All at the same bloody time. I mean, really!
It's not that cold.

Allison said...

I'm with you on the flavoured toothpaste and ribbons on cars. Don't get it.

I do however, enjoy the razors with 5 blades.

Oh, those wheelie shoes are vile too, Urban Blonde is spot on there.

I can't think of any right off the top of my head besides Uggs (or disemboweled sheep carcasses as I like to call them) and Crocs - with those silly decorative things you can put in the holes. Bah!

Karen said...

- Crocs (thanks Mellowlee)
- Reality Television everywhere you click
- cell phones and texting
- using the word "pwned" (I don't even know what it means)
- babydoll tops (keep 'em in the bedroom please)

The list is far too long to list here. People, in general, annoy me.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I agree with you on the ribbon thing. I've a a half a yellow ribbon on my truck that says, "Question war."

Gifted Typist said...

The cosmetic industry is the biggest confidence trick of our time. Do not listen to anything they say.

Shampoos with perisimmon scent.

lulu lemon's faux spirituality

i-idiots - you know pay any price, stand in line over night, just cuz it's a new i-product.

yes, ribbon fatigue, also little colourful plastic bracelet fatigue.

Baby on board signs in car windows.

"I'm good" instead of "no thank you, I've had enough."

Corporate pin heads who say things like "negatively impacting the ability to move forward"

Ben Mulroney

BeckEye said...

I hate the trend of people getting dressed and combing their hair and stuff. Why can't we all just wear jammies and be unkempt all day? It would be so much easier.

#1 reminds me of this fake commercial they had on SNL once...I forget how many blades the razor had but it was this outrageous contraption and the guy using it just sliced his face to bits. Pretty funny.

Heather said...

Like, that whole valley girl thing...and stuff? You know, like, when you speak? And it's all, y'know, like dumb sounding or something? And then, like, you go 'oh, like can I axe you a stupid question?' And then they go 'no, because I'm not stupid?' And then you go 'well, like, that's insulting and stuff?'

Yeaaaaah. Like, that. Totally.

Now, like, will you be my BFF?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Yeah those wheelie shoe kids irritate me as well, UB, although I suspect that it could be partially jealousy on my part. Nice of you not to trip them, though.

Although I shake my head at the ugliness of Crocs, they don't really irriate me all that much, Mel. I think maybe the Croc-wearers have just been steering clear of me.

Not much of a mint fan, myself, Ruh, although sometimes I am forced to eat it if it is attached to chocolate.
I have not heard of bacon salt! Although on the radio this morning, they were eating bacon and caramel popcorn, which just about turned me off my shredded wheat.
Oh yeah, those balloon skirts are ridiculous! The tent shirts, though, now they can hide a multitude of sins.
I'm still tripping on the folk fest a wee bit, but each day it feels more and more like reality. Time for a trip to Seattle, I think!

Didn't they make regular toothpaste when you were a kid, Jen? I can't imagine brushing my teeth with cinnamon - that is just plain wrong.
The minute they come out with a 55 blade razor, I am buying you a case. But I expect to see the leg shaving on YouTube.

Particularly where you are, BAP. I imagine it stays pretty warm there. I never understood the skirts over jeans thing, but I can accept it for some reason. (I am very select in my prejudices)
Cameraphones - vile things! I'm jealous too.

People put decorative things in the holes of their Crocs, Al? I swear I have been missing out on the whole Croc culture thing. Those things must start to reek after a while, I'll bet.
But is there really any difference between a 5-blade and 2-blade razor? Honestly?

Let it all out, Karen! Incessant texting bugs me too. I foresee a whole generation of people with arthritic thumbs.

Now THAT is a car ribbon I can support, Dr M. You're the boss!

hahaha, you should have seen me reacting with each item I read on your list, Gifted. Smoke all but coming out my ears by the bottom of the list.
Love the term "i-idiots".

Are you sure that was even a fake commercial, Beckeye, because I can absolutely see that happening in the not-too-distant future.
And I am so with you on the whole getting out of bed and getting dressed fatigue. What's the point? You do it once and then they expect you to do it again the next day.

Oh totally, like, Heather, it's like you, you know, speak my language? Or something?

Allison said...

I fall into the dresses/shirts over jeans category. I blame England. I also wear belts over the everything now too. Again, England.

Oh yes, there is a difference between a two and five blade. I'll never look back...I know what I'm putting in my next parcel to you. ;)

Allison said...


I always try and wear a shirt. :)

justacoolcat said...

I hate when I get them mixed up. Last week I covered my car in razors and tried to shave with a support the troops magnet and I'm sure you can imagine my embarassment when someone pointed out the toothpase on my face as I tried to explain it was the new aveda product.

Johnny Yen said...

I remember back in the seventies, when a fake Saturday Night Live commercial made fun of the double razors, with an ad for a three-razored blade. And of course life imitated art and they actually produced a three razored blade. The a four, and a five.

Another thing to add to that list-- I've been working on a blog post-- are those huge "SUV" strollers. They're a pain in the ass everywhere-- in the store, in the restaurant I work in. Today, I parked and walked over to my stepdaughter's school, and had to walk up onto someone's parkway garden because a mother with one of those huge strollers had it all the way across the sidewalk.

Tanya Espanya said...

First, Jen? How do you have that mental avatar movie thing? Can you be any more clever? I'm dying over here! (now I'm mad at you because I have to go look at your blog and I have no time...bookmarked for later). Moving on.

I'm totally the baby on board with both GT and Beckeye and not just because I know them. Wait - I think I agree with everyone here...

I wish I could wear a muumuu all the time and just leave my hair like the medusa head it is.

Anonymous said...

For enjoyment and/or ralphing purposes:

Apparently, it is vegetarian. I don't really know what chemical compounds taste like bacon but they are all in there.

Anonymous said...

Girls who wear lowrise jeans with big wide belts sporting enormous muffin tops oozing out of their belly shirts. I just don't see any sexy in that... many of these girls would be lovely just wearing properly fitting clothes!

Ditto guys who's boxers (fortunately) hide the crack of their asses (mostly) while their pants are nearly to their ankles already.

I saw this magnetized car ribbon that amused me... it was done up like a rainbow jigsaw puzzle with "Autism Awareness" printed on one strip. I mean, I know I shouldn't laugh but, you know... sometimes it just fits!

Westcoast Walker said...

The whole pro-biotic yogurt thing drives me crazy. One year it was oat bran, beta caratine, ginseng ... I mean do people really sit around talking about this sort of thing?

John Mutford said...

A note to Johnny Yen's comment about the SNL sketch. After the three blade thing came tru, SNL decided to up the ante and made a commercial for a 20something blade razor. God help us if that comes true. Open your cabinet door and your face'll be sliced off instanteously.

I tried the lemon toothpaste, thinking "hey, I like lemons more than mint, why not?" Then I realized that brushing with dessert is stupid. Didn't feel like I'd brushed at all.

John Mutford said...

Oh and I'll add energy drinks to the stupid trends list.

In my day we got sleep. Failing that, coffee.

Or else we'd fall asleep at the reins, drive into the other feller's horses and we'd end up tradin' stereoscope cards in lieu of insurance and dagnabbit, that's the way it was, AND WE LIKED IT!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I didn't realize that the British were to blame for that particular fashion trend, Al, but all I know is that I am quite terrified to open my next care package!

I hate it when that happens, JustA, but it's a good way to make sure nobody opens their door into the side of your urban assault vehicle.

I love how Proctor and Gamble or whoever are taking all their development advice from SNL, Johnny Yen.
And I hate to admit this, but if those Hummer strollers had been around (and I was able to afford one) when I was child-raising, I would have bought one. Those tiny little wheels on the old versions were a bugger for trying to get over curbs or through snowdrifts. And think of all the groceries you could pile into one of those Hummer strollers!

You need to introduce your innate fashion sense to your neighbourhood, Tanya Espanya. People will be clamouring for mumus and medusa hair - just watch.

That's amazing, Ruh! And not only is it vegetarian bacon salt, it's kosher! I am so brushing my teeth with that!

It sounds like that autism ribbon decal was really easy to focus on, Mish - how very fitting!
Do guys really still wear their pants like that? I though that was so over. But what do I know from fashion?

Oh yeah, those super foods, Westcoast Walker! I was actually thinking about adding that pro- or pre- or whichever is the currently favoured biotic yoghurt to my list, but forgot. It's craziness!

Then I realized that brushing with dessert is stupid. Didn't feel like I'd brushed at all. - precisely, John.
One thing they forget to mention about those energy drinks, is that they taste extremely nasty. Give me coffee or running into the back of someone else's horses any day.

zombie said...

You kidding? I've been waiting for coffee, eggs and bagel toothpaste; breakfast and dental hygiene all in one complete package, I'm all about the time savings.

Now if I can just figure out how to attach 24 razor blades to my windshield wipers, I can shower, shave and clean my windshield at the same time.

The one that bugs me are those two wheeled contraptions, Segways or something like that, I see roaming all over Washington D.C. in herds. I really just want to push a stick through the spokes and watch em go over like a weeble wobble.

Blogger ate my first comment, so if anyone's curious my word verification word is, "gvoyl".

Is that really a word?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

gvoy! That's one of my all-time favourite words, Zombie, and can I just mention how honoured I feel to be welcoming a fellow zombie to my lair?

I love the idea of tripping up a Segway, but do they even have spokes? This may be a problem we need to work on, otherwise instead of watching them do an awesome flip, we may just see these Segways come to an abrupt halt. Then of course the rider may actually be forced to walk, and I suspect it would be at a far faster pace than the Segway's top speed.

Deb said...

How much more can they do to water, too?

Is it still called water if you add, color, sugar then carbonate it?

Don't think so. Pop, that's what it is.

And don't try and confuse me by adding vitamins either.

Good list Barb.

Bridget Jones said...

HA! Thought I was the only grump who thought that the blade thing was going too far. What about the colored plastic bracelets?

Bridget Jones said...

p.s. YAY someone here also doesn't like B Mulroney!!! I'd gladly pay to get that guy off the air. Seriously.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Or those pseudo-vitamins they add to stuff, Deb. I swear to god they make that shit up, it's something new every week.
Yes, I am all for the tap water myself. In a reusable container.

Hey welcome, Bridget Jones! There is so much that confuses and irritates me, it's not even funny. Fortunately, around here those coloured bracelets have died down somewhat. At least until someone introduces a bracelet awareness bracelet.