Saturday, June 21, 2008

whilst they wash the filth away

Remember how your mom used to say "get away from the windows, the Jehovah's Witnesses are coming down the street"? Or maybe that was just mine. Regardless, it shouldn't be any problem picking up a copy of the new Watchtower this weekend. Nine thousand Jehovah's equals a lot of door knocking.

Fortunately none of the Marthas are jonesing to embrace their inner Jehovah's Witness this weekend, so we will be partaking of more womenly weekend- appropriate activities. I am grabbing a couple of minutes of ether time, whilst everybody is getting themselves beautiful, after having had a rather great sleep down in the man-cave last night. It's really a very comfy place to sleep once you get it de-scuzzed and add a few feminine touches, like clean sheets.

Sorry to be ignoring you all this weekend, but I shall be back later tomorrow evening
with all my tales of debauchery. And naturally I expect to hear all about your indiscretions as well.

17 comments:

Moxie said...

It wasn't just your mom, BTZ - Momcat did the same thing. We had a big picture window in the front and I remember crawling a few times underneath it like a solider in battle just to avoid being seen (and to tease Momcat as well).

Hope you have (had) a fun weekend!

John Mutford said...

We had a memorable experience with our viscious guard duck chasing away a JW.

Deb said...
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Deb said...

At our house it's "DUCK!"...unfortunately, you can see inside the big bay window from the front door. It's kind of a hit the decks things when they're out there. I made the very serious mistake of listening/engaging in conversation once and now they're aggressively pursuing me. I think last time they knocked, rang and kicked the door.

Have a Mar(tha)velous time. OK, that was totally lame. Time for wine.

Deb said...

I should've read the comments first....moxie's described exactly how it is at our place too.

Westcoast Walker said...

Sordid details for vicarious enjoyment are always welcome, I wait with bated breath!

BTW, use the whole "I've been shunned" trick when they come to your door, makes them do a 180 and run away faster than you can was "watchtower".

Allison said...

I hope you're having a fab weekend with the Marthas. :)

kelly said...

by man cave..i assume you mean basement?

Gifted Typist said...

I could feel your Martha vibes all the way out here. Looking forward to the review

phlegmfatale said...

Well, not quite Jehovah's Witnesses, but, my gay friend Kevin and I were talking recently about religious fanatics and he intoned "you know those Mormon boys who go around on bicycles in their short sleeve white shirts and polyester ties? They REALLY turn me on."

Somehow, that turns ME on!

mellowlee said...

Ah haaa, here it is Monday afternoon and no Martha's review yet.. It must have been a good one *giggle* (or the JW's got you eep)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'm pretty sure Momcat would rather have you wee ones crawling below window level than answering the door and inviting them in, Moxie. That's what truly evil children would do.

I remember hearing about your guard duck, John! I would love more details sometime.

They were kicking your door, Deb? Well that's not very christian of them, is it? They must really have enjoyed their conversation with you.

Of course! Establish yourself as a pariah! I don't know why I never thought of that one, Westcoast Walker, but I will certainly add it to my arsenal now.

Truly fab, Al, but today I am le tired.

Almost basement, Kelly. It is below grade, so I guess we can safely call it basement. The sort of place that men like to hang out in anyway.

There were some pretty fierce vibes being emitted, Gifted,I have to admit that. I never realized how far reaching they were though.

You know it, Phlegmfatale! There's something universally appealing about the thought of deflowering a mormon boy, especially one on a bike. Must be those white shirts.

It was good, it was more tiring that I realized, Mel! Must ... work up ... energy to remember ... weekend...

BeckEye said...

In our family, we would just wait until the JWs got inches from our door, then we would all run outside in our trenchcoats and yell, "Hey Jehovahs! Witness this!" *flash* Those were good times.

By the way, my word ver is "jnimcgod," which is interesting because I've always imagined that God's real name is Johnny McGod. He's definitely Irish.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh absolutely, he's Irish, Beckeye. Where else do you think Guinness came from?
I have to convince my family to use your family's JW technique. I guess I'll be trenchcoat shopping this week.

leazwell said...
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leazwell said...

JW have some interesting spins on scripture. Once they said only 144,000 (mentioned in Revelation)were going to heaven, now only if you think you are going to be one of the 144,000 can you take communion. The rest, who are hopefully heaven bound, just observe.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Interesting, Leazwell. I wonder how they decide who is of the 144,000? Draw straws? Play rock paper scissors?