Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I get knocked down (but I get up again)

Guess who's going to be a free agent come September 1?

The new emperor hemmed and hawed at our meeting yesterday, using nebulous phrases, until I pushed him for a definitive answer. Which was no.

Good. Now I can move forward. After three years of uncertainty and speculation about whether there would again be funding at the end of the next quarter, I am glad to see an end in sight.

That said, I am stinging a bit. It does hurt my feelings somewhat to come to the realization that the entire world does not think I am indispensable. So I will wallow in self-pity for a couple of days, and then get over myself.

It is heartening to see that the old emperor and the good guy are both livid over this and are bending over backwards to try to change the outcome. I appreciate their concern, but I have lost my heart for this particular battle. The only fight I have left in me at this point is for a modest severance package.

In my mind, I am already gone.

Fallow - the Weakerthans


Karen said...

How much longer do you have to hang around this hell hole? Sheesh. Want me to come down and kick some new emperor butt? I know people, it'll look like an accident...I promise. Sorry to hear that your services are no longer required but at least now you know and can move onto something that you truly love.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

That guy is an idiot to let you go. Off to bigger and better things my friend!

John Mutford said...

Looks like it's back to buying lottery tickets again.

Nah. You deserve better than that place anyway.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thanks, Karen, your butt-kicking offer is greatly appreciated, but I guess I better not burn too many bridges.
I'm very glad it's finally been decided, so I can stop being jimmy-jacked around by various interests.

Thanks for indulging my self-pity, Dr M. I shall not look back!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Fortunately I never have succumbed to the Siren of the Lotto, John, otherwise I'd be putting all the grocery money into the lottery coffers right now.

Allison said...

Yes, you deserve much better and to be doing something you truly love to do. Or at least something that you enjoy, which from the sounds of it seemed to be lacking since the old emperor left.

Onwards and upwards! :)

BeckEye said...

You're indispensable to me. That should count for something!

Gifted Typist said...

The first time I ever commented on your blog it was in response to you wondering if you should take that other job - I think it involved wk/ends.
Maybe that's still open?
Will you be able to take some time to , the summer perhaps?, to ponder your next move?

I'm sorry it's come to this, but you saw it and I think you;re much better off

mellowlee said...

The new emperor is an ASSCLOWN!!!!!

*imagines shoving assclown's face into a giant cake and kicking his ass*

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Onwards and upwards sounds vaguely superheroish, Al, which is just exactly what I need right now. A cape and some snazzy leggings and I will tackle the world.
And you are right, of course, it's been much less engaging since the old emperor left.

Awww that's sweet, Beckeye, and I am going to count it among my proudest achievements.

Ah yes, the cheese shop job! I'm not sure what I was thinking there, Gifted, but I'm pretty sure I would go crazy after a couple of days. I intend to work right through (with the exception of the holidays I already have scheduled, and barring taking another job first) so I can get a lump sum for vacation days. But 2 1/2 months is lots of time to ponder possibilities.

hahaha you are awfully feisty for a sick person, Mel! Thanks, I love the word ASSCLOWN, especially when it is all in caps.

justacoolcat said...

Fuck them. That's what I say. Fuck them.

Anonymous said...

Good luck! Wherever you go they will be happy to have you, and this place will quickly realize what they are missing out on. Their loss. At least the Folk Fest has still got you! ;)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

That is pretty much what I intend to say to them, JustA. You are a mind reader evidently.

I would LOVE to work at the folk fest on a year round basis, Ruh. I can't think of a better job. I will certainly be sniffing around their door.

bloody awful poetry said...

Wallowing in self-pity does wonders for the soul.
But you art awesome, and shall kick bloody awful arse at whatever you do!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Self-pity is quite a lovely indulgence, BAP, but I am now passing out of that phase into righteous indignation (which is even more satisfying, to be honest). And I shall attempt to always kick bloody awful arse, thank you.

Anonymous said...

Ah, and when you lose heart, that does make all the difference, doesn't it? I hear ya. I'm there, too.


Does this mean you have to WORK there until September 1? Sounds painful and somewhat stress inducing.

I'm hoping that the new emperor isn't the smug faced arrogant type but somehow I suspect he might be. If so leave all weapons at home.

Sean Wraight said...

If ever there was a case of "their loss" this would really be it. It's a shame some people can not see intelligence and pure creativity so close to their grasp. The Nouveau Emperor sounds link a misinformed idiot. You will do far better elsewhere Barb. And who knows you might even find something you love.

Best Fishes. We're all behind you now.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

Shall we quit together, Justrun? Oh wait, I didn't quit, did I?

He actually appeared pretty sheepish when I ran into him today, Urban Blonde. And September is their endpoint, but if I find the right job before that, I am out of there.

You are going to give me a swollen head, Sean, but I sure appreciate the sweetness. And it sure feels good to have great people pulling for me.

Serah said...

good luck right now and to your future endeavors

something to side track you?

arms around the stereo
Playlist #1
Du train où vont les choses
"In the present state of affairs"

download link and tracklisting available @ the curiousity cabinet

mister anchovy said...

Just turn around and don't look back.

Anonymous said...

Honey, you are equipped with so many tools thus giving you lots of options. Hit the road and don't look back.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

That sounds like a fabulous distraction, Serah, just what the guidance councellor ordered. I shall be over to check it out.

You cannot go wrong with a little reggae, Mister Anchovy. Great pick me up, thanks.

The road is looking really good to me, Leazwell, I am actually quite eager to hit it soon now.

Beth said...

Oh, I'm so sorry about this. I've been laid off many times, so I understand your pain. But think of the possibilities!

Moxie said...

Catching up on my blog reading today. May your transition be swift, painless and heavy on the margaritas! And if I can find my dream career at a point when I thought it wasn't possible...anyone can.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Who would lay you off, Beth? Why that's insane! And thanks for the sympathy.

That's great encouragement, Moxie, thank you. I'm so glad to hear that your career change is working out so well for you. Gives me great hopes.