Monday, May 19, 2008

echo to your yell, ripple to your dive

If yesterday was a big love-in about how great an extra long weekend is, today I temper all that saccharine with a reality check of things that really bothered me today.

You may or may not know how much I despise vanity plates. I believe I have spewed venom about them before. Especially the cutesy ones that I have seen like "MASTAXI", "IMLVD", "IFRGT" (that one actually scared the crap out of me), or "GR8ST-ANT".

I see a plate like that in front of me, it's all I can do to keep myself from getting out at the next red light, ripping open their driver's side door and smacking some faces.

Today I saw, not a license plate, but a big stenciled message right across the back of a mini-van which read:


At first glance I didn't even notice the apostrophe abuse, the sentiment alone pissed me off. But when, after a split second, I realized that the sign-maker was illiterate in addition to lame, I had to do some deep breathing and count my blessings that we have gun control laws in this country.

Okay, if that's all that bothered me today, I've got nothing much to complain about. Except for watching the cat slowly kill a bird today. I tried to intervene, but my authority doesn't count for much in the brutish backyard wars.

I imagine that Radiohead have headed back to the UK for a wee rest now, as they played the final show of the first leg of the North American tour in Dallas last night. Aside from the weather issue in Bristow, VA, I have heard nothing but glowing reports of the awesomeness factor of the shows that the most important band in the world have been putting on.

Judging from the reviews that I have been reading, Radiohead have been absolutely stellar on this tour, playing 24-25 songs at each concert, largely from In Rainbows of course, but also dipping back and playing some old favourites that I would kill to see live, like Paranoid Android, Fake Plastic Trees, Exit Music (For a Film), and Optimistic.

And they've been having fun too.
At the St. Louis concert, apparently Thom asked the audience, "How come it smells of doughnuts? Who could eat doughnuts at a time like this?" God I love that kid.

See you in August, Radiohead!


Anonymous said...

Ohh, I have no love of vanity plates, either. I don't know if you've seen this glorious array of vanity plate complaints... some of them are pretty rich in laugh factor.

The misplaced apostrophe is the thing that makes me wish my head was a giant eraser the most.

Your Radioheadness, I'm thinking you're gonna have some kinda memories made when you see your boys this summer. :D

bloody awful poetry said...

Ha!You just HAD to stick in Radiohead at some point, didn't you?
I am beyond jealousy now. All I hope is that the boys give you one heck of a show, because the way you devote your blog posts to their music should reduce them to states of humbled gratitude.
TWENTY FIVE songs? Insanity! And I adore the doughnut quote. Awesomness.

jim dandy said...

I'm so vain. I bet I thought this blog was about me. Don't I? Don't I? Don't I? (SUB POP)
As for the cat doing its thang, I can relate. If I can save the wee critter before the kill, I will. If not, then it's no worse than the nature channel showing the natural order of the food chain. (disturbing as it can be.)

John Mutford said...

I love the apostrophe abuse in that soccer mom thing. Did she mean that she had a kick-ass butt?

And to think that she took the time to stencil it.

Dale said...

Vanity plate owners should be herded into a smash up derby and then we'll see who kicks butt. The winner can keep the plates but only if we approve.

I heard about the Radiohead troubles and wondered if you'd said an extra prayer for your Thom. I'm glad you're getting to go.

BeckEye said...

Soccer Mom's apostrophe abuse was the FIRST thing I noticed!

I've heard that Thom Yorke has a plate on the back of his bike that reads BARB-RULZ.


"I see a plate like that in front of me, it's all I can do to keep myself from getting out at the next red light, ripping open their driver's side door and smacking some faces."

That one line made my entire day. You are my idol.

Deb said...

Vanity plates...says it all right there, doesn't it? I'm always tempted to carry around a big, black permanent marker and edit the plates. Like that one could've easily become SOCCER MOMS ARE ASSES.

justacoolcat said...

"How come it smells of doughnuts? Who could eat doughnuts at a time like this?"

Apparently he can't smell the waft of pot.

Your 'THOMLUVR'plate is in the mail.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

hahaha, that's great, Michelle - maybe Jeebus was driving that car!
Apostrophe abuse makes me consider going all postal on people asses.
I think it's going to be a memorial trip for all manner of reasons, not the least meeting up with some dear friends.

BAP: Either that or the way I devote my blog posts to their music should make them consider taking out restraining orders against me in the future.
But yes, people are getting their money's worth at the shows!

It's heartbreaking, but true, Jim Dandy, they are just being cats. I just wish they didn't draw it out so long.

I KNOW, John! I mean everybody makes grammatical errors in the heat of the moment, but stenciling? (Also it's inexcusible for a tattoo to contain a spelling mistake.)
But yes, maybe she was referring to her own kick-butt.

What do you mean "said a prayer for Thom", Dale? I pray TO him!
I am so with you on the smashup derby. I want front row seats!

He does for sure, Beckeye, I sent it to him for Christmas. You should see him pedal proudly around town with it - so cute.
Good work on the apostrophe abuse spotting, obviously you come by your name honestly.

I'm honoured and humbled, Blondie. Just doing my part to rid our streets of stupidity.

Why weren't you in the urban assault vehicle with me yesterday, Deb? Oh yeah, because we would have ended up in jail.

I think he's immune to it, JustA, but doughnut smell is obviously quite exotic to him.
I eagerly await delivery of my 'THOMLUVR' plate, and I shall put a big honking gold chain on it and wear it around my neck. And Flavour Fav will be jealous.

Anonymous said...

I'm like that with Baby on board signs.

Other back window signs that irritate include:

Retired - and I care, why?

Prepare for the Rapture - maybe you should prepare for the rupture, lady!

Put the Christ back in Christmas - yeah, and get the Christ off the road slow-poke.

Sorry, but you're going to flash signage out of your back window, it had better be remotely witty or funny, otherwise, I'm gonna get ugly.

Allison said...

Although I wouldn't get one, I rather enjoy personalized plates.

Better we take the rage out on the grammatical errors than engage in actual road rage. Plus, trying to figure out the acronyms gives me something to ponder in traffic. ;)

Will said...

Thom is comping you front row seats, right? If I hadn't met you, I'd be convinced the folks at Radiohead headquarters created this blog to slyly sell records. Though I imagine they sell enough as it is. Anyhow, who does like vanity plates besides those who have vanity plates. But what you didn't know (and here's a fascinating connection) is the "Soccer Mom's Kick Butt" is actually the title of an upcoming Radiohead b-side. So that person may have been more of a kindred spirit than you realized.

Anonymous said...

Thank you thank you thank you for the lovely rant on apostrophes...I feel so alone on this sometimes. Bryan did assist some window artists in Neepawa at Xmas with misplaced apostrophes, but enlightenment is not appreciated in small-town Canada. My latest irritant - using "I" instead of "me" (eg He got drunk with my buddies and I) arrrrrgggghhhh!!

Beth said...

There is absolutely nothing wrong with justifiable rage over an abused apostrophe. I applaud your punctuation punkness.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I shudder to think of you and I riding in a vehicle together, Gifted. There'd be some blue air inside that urban assault vehicle, I'll warrant.
The Resident Offspring shakes her head at those pink ribbons people sport. "Oh look!" she'll say, "that person doesn't like breast cancer! Neither do I!"

You are far too accepting of people for this shark tank, Al. And it's a laudable sentiment you are espousing, but I'd actually be worried about the grammatical errors sparking the road rage. But I guess I'm just a rageaholic.

You would think that I would have already known about that upcoming b-side, Will, but no! Those bastards have been holding out on me. And after all the pimping I've done. Those complimentary front row seats better be happening.

There is never a shortage of grammatical abuse destined to drive us bonkers, Berni. Although I would have loved to watch Bryan trying to correct those folks. I'm surprised they didn't run him right out of town!

And if I snapped, I do believe that I would never be convicted, Beth. I will simply explain to the judge that you said it was justifiable.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, apostrophe misuse! Yuck!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

It's a cardinal sin in my books, Justrun.