It's true, I am a complete techno dweeb when it comes to cell phone use and maybe that's why I never carry one and why I despise them so. They know they've got the upper hand.
To continue yesterday's tale of venturing into the city's busiest mall on a Saturday (can you tell this is still causing me mental trauma?), my lovely niece asked for my cell number so that she could find me if we had trouble locating each other in the mall from hell. So I dragged the phone out of the junk drawer, found the number and relayed it to her, recharged it and put some money on the account, and we headed off for the lunch date.
We knew we were in trouble as we approached the mall, by the numbers of cars driving around in circles, looking for that non-existent parking spot. So naturally we joined in the parade, and I have to say it was one of the most futile exercises in mindless carbon usage, senseless exhaust spewing, and pilgrimages to the altar of conspicuous consumption that I have ever participated in. I am ashamed to tell you that I drove around that stupid parking lot for at least 20 minutes before I came to my senses and listened to the Resident Offspring's suggestion that we head several blocks away and park on the street, so we could walk to our lunch date.
But as we were driving over there, I realized that we were quite late and that K might be trying to find us, so as we were stopped at the light I reached into my purse and pulled out the accursed phone, intending to give it to the Resident Offspring to see if we had missed any calls because of the blasting tunes, since I can never see what the hell is written on those minuscule screens. But when I opened my purse the damn thing almost jumped out. It was on vibrate and dancing around with joy that somebody was actually phoning it (a first, I think).
To make a long story only slightly longer, we did manage to find my niece amongst the 765,874,743 mall zombies who were milling about taking up my oxygen, something I am almost sure we would not have done without her phoning to tell us where she was.
But it is disturbing to me that we all seem to be so dependent upon this cursed technology for completing the simplest tasks anymore. Generally I quite like not being in touch for a few hours when I go about my chores. And there is a price to pay for this technology. I mean, how often do people upgrade their phones and what do you think happens to the discarded ones that aren't quite cool enough anymore? Not to mention that tower going up in your neighbourhood which you aren't too thrilled about. And although the jury is still out on the health implications of cell phone radiation, intuition tells me that less is better.
But maybe I am just being an old Luddite because I can't figure out how to turn the damned vibrate off the phone. Seriously, I can't.
What sort of relationship do you have with cell phones?
Vibrate - Rufus Wainwright