Wednesday, January 16, 2008

return to Happy Place

I was driving to go pick up the Resident Offspring from school this afternoon, blasting the Weakerthans' album Reconstruction Site, when suddenly I felt a long forgotten, but not entirely unfamiliar sensation in my chest. I realized, as I braked for the red light, that what I was feeling was something that I used to feel most of the time, that I had almost come to take as a given, but that I hadn't experienced in close to a month. It was joy.

Now that I am feeling so much better and that the pain is lessening every day, I have regained my appetite for living fully. I am not generally one to contemplate the meaning of my life. Usually I figure that if you make more people happy than you piss off, you win in the end, but now I'm not sure that I can ever again take for granted the freedom that a healthy body allows you. Mostly it frees your mind.

And then to make everything more perfect than it should have any right to be, when I got home, I found that Radiohead was putting on a free concert in London and that they were webcasting it live. They had just posted the news this morning and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to catch it, as they were delayed when the police made them change venues from a small record store to a larger place down the street.

I caught the last 25 minutes of the show and it was glorious. I can't remember what all they played, but they just smoked when they played The National Anthem. God I hope they play that when I finally get to see them.

Toward the end, Thom was saying to the crowd, "thank you guys for coming out", and, as one, they interrupted him with "No! Thank you!" And then Thom bowed deeply to them, and Ed shook hands with a bunch of people. It was a beautiful moment.

Radiohead, I love you guys!

You too, Weakerthans!

This is the song that was playing when I returned to joy:

Psalm for the Elks' Lodge Last Call - the Weakerthans

- enjoy-


justacoolcat said...

I'm glad to hear you've got your joy "back". Ok, bad pun. Now I seem to have come down with a fever that is keeping me away from the beloved nets.

Anonymous said...

Thom: 1
Nigel: 0
Congratulations BB.

Jas B said...

I am so glad to hear that your are feeling better and Nigel's not. :)

I could see it in your eyes the otehr day when you came to work how great a pain you were in...

I made some Biryani for you to enjoy, I'll bring it over tomorrow.

Toccata said...

Yahoo and a woot woot to you're getting your joy back and burying Nigel! That was the best news I've heard all day.

Allison said...

I was slightly worried reading the first part there, but glad to hear everything is looking up.

Can you imagine how you are gonna feel when you see Radiohead live? :)

Joe said...

Glad things are looking up for you!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Awww Just A, you poor thing! Hope you get rid of that nasty fever and steer clear of Wifey in the meanwhile.

Thom wins every time, Gifted Typist, he's a ninja.

You made me some Biryani, Jas? Oh aren't you the sweetest thing? Thanks!
We'll see how long I can last at work today. I'm aiming for at least 5 hours.

It was pretty sweet to feel again, Toccata. Nigel and I are still battling, but I feel him weakening daily.

I will be impossible to live with, Al, bringing it up in every conceivable conversation. People will begin to shun me.

Thanks, Bubs! Making daily progress now (at least till the next massage - tomorrow).

Will said...

First off, so glad to hear that you are feeling better each day. And your words of wisdom on life are truly inspirational. It's totally awesome that Radiohead does these webcasts, but I keep missing them. I haven't seen a Radiohead webcast since 2003, and I barely saw any of that one. I need to get better about it.

BeckEye said...

Let's hear it for the joy!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You likely miss all those Radiohead webcasts because you have an actual life, Will. This will never do.

Beckeye, why do I feel like doing some big musical dance number all of a sudden?

Anonymous said...

It gives me great joy to know that you're feeling joy after this long ordeal with pain, my dear friend.

hugs, luv!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Awwwww thanks, Michelle! That means a lot to me, Hugs back atcha.