Monday, January 28, 2008

all the brass monkeys I know are gingerly cupping their nether regions

When I left the house at 8:00 this morning, CBC radio was reporting the current temperature as -32C (-26F) with a windchill of -49C (-56F).

However, since I was raised in Winnipeg, which has the dubious honour of being the coldest city with a population of over 600,000, I merely scoffed, donned my serious business winter coat with the massive hood that makes me look like a bison (and scaring the hell out of the cat in the process), and trudged out to the urban assault vehicle.

I wasn't too concerned about driving on the frozen streets, as I had
plenty of practice yesterday when I foolishly suggested to the Resident Offspring that we take in a matinée of The Orphanage on what was sure to be the final weekend of its run at the Uptown, a great little art house theatre downtown.

It was well worth braving the snow-blown streets and the wind tunnels created by the office towers, which gave us instant freeze-dried lobotomies, as The Orphanage is easily one of the creepiest, most stylish horror movies I have seen in a very long time. It steers clear of the ever so tedious gore factor that predominates Hollywood productions and instead delivers an increasing sense of unease and anxiety, with well placed startling moments that made me gasp audibly (just ask the Offspring).

Best ghost story since The Others. Better, actually.

After a cautious,but reasonable commute this morning, I was thrilled to discover that the parking lot was only half full, so I was able to park several rows closer to the building than I normally do. I made sure I faced the urban assault vehicle in a southerly direction to negate the wind factor
, plugged in the block heater (which I haven't done for several years), and thanked my stars that I replaced the ailing battery last week. How's that for fortuitous timing?

And
when I got into the office, I discovered that I was the only person who had not hit the curb with my front end that day. Not only do I not need a wheel alignment, I now have bragging rights as the best driver in the lab.

I pretty much ruled today.

How was your Monday?

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

Better than Pan's Labyrinth, which I found extremely scary, dark, bleak as hell? I look forward to The Orphanage, There Will Be Blood, No Country For Old Men and Eastern Promises to cheer me up. Blizzard coming to sw Manitoba tonight! hee hee hee
Berni

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Bruno says it's not a real blizzard, Berni but a just a wussy little blizzard.

Pan's Labyrinth was certainly dark and bleak, but didn't have the ghost factor. I'm a sucker for the ghost factor.

mellowlee said...

I just knew that movie was gonna be great! I can't wait to see it! The only movies I've seen in a theatre recently were No Country for Old Men, and Sweeny Todd. They were both fantastic! Pan's Labyrinth was amazing, but like you, I am a sucker for the ghost factor. My day was AWESOME because I got a Zombie parcel in the mail *TACKLE HUG!!!* Thank you so much Barb!!! I'm going to go lie down and pop those CDs into my player and relax! XO!!!!

John Mutford said...

My initial reaction when any..ahem..southerner complains about the cold, is to laugh and prepare to take them down a few notches. However, despite it being -37 here today, you did have us beat with the windchill (ours is a balmy -42). Impressive for someone South of 60.

Jas Bhambra said...

My car lies dead, halfway out of its parking spot and partly in the way of other cars moving in and out of the residential complex. I have to get hold of the AMA battery express service. Apparntly they have restricted the services due to bad weather!

Barb, stay at home if there is nothing pressing at work. And hows your back doing? Mine is hurtingalong with my arms and legs beacuse of all that pushing trying to get the car out of its spot for easy access of booster cables to its battery! It still remains stuck halfway. :(

kelly said...

i'm so glad i was in alberta a couple weeks ago.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

My day was not near as good as yours. I bow down to your winter time prowess.

Allison said...

I haven't seen Pan's Labyrinth but I want to see The Orphanage. I shall have to look into when its playing at the art house here.

I can't believe its that cold...I won't tell you what the weather is like here. Or rather, I won't complain about the weather. ;)

My Monday was fab because I got THE best mail and have been rocking out to the Zombie cds. :)

leazwell said...

I once liked ghost movies but now can't seem to muster up enthusiasm, but I have heard this one as you say gives one the creeps. I just don't like the creeps though you make this film sound tempting. The title alone suggest events of a macabre nature.

Brava on the driving!

Karen said...

I'm really looking forward to seeing this - nothing but great reviews so far. Yay. A number of people didn't make it into our office as well claiming "road conditions" as an excuse. Wimps.

You've got it just as bad as we do up here. Brrrr. But I was prepared as well since I grew up in a town with the lovely name of "Cold Lake". Tee hee.

jim dandy said...

freeze-dried lobotomies, hahaha...
that explains the recent stupefied behaviors of the local native customers in my corner of the continent! (what about the rest of the year?)
I too just got a brand new battery and filled my tank to boot. Too bad I walk to work, ha!

gifted typist said...

I love that ever-so-Canadian game of Winter One-Downmanship.

BeckEye said...

Good to know...I've been wanting to see that movie. I rarely go to the theater though, so I might just end up waiting until it hits Netflix.

I haven't seen Pan's Labyrinth, but I saw plain old Labyrinth back in the '80s and I've never recovered.

justacoolcat said...

Well, it was 40 degrees yesterday and we had a little rain. Now it's below zero. Nothing like a 50 degree temperature swing in 24 hours.

That movie looks too scarey for me. I don't know how it happened, but im the last few years I've become a wuss.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Nothing like starting off the day with a tackle hug, Mel! Thanks, I needed that.
I'm glad you got your parcel already, yay!
I love going to movies at the old downtown theatres where they have really decent popcorn, don't you?

The fact that I could impress a weathered Northerner with my windchill tale makes me feel like a big swinging dick, John. Like I actually accomplished something by merely living through the day.

Your poor car, Jas! Now I am doubly glad I have a new battery. I am infact taking a personal day today, but it was preplanned, not weather linked. In fact I have lots of places to go today - brrrr!

You know how to time your trips, Kelly! Although think of the bragging rights had you been here this week.

You should have seen me in my massive coat, Dr M, and you would have bowed, as I looked pretty intimidating.

I am so glad that the zombie mixes have the power to make you rock, Al! And am I to assume that you are not dealing with the windchill factor in your lovely town?

For some reason, I am still fond of creepy films, Leazwell, but gore fests have lost their charm for me a long time ago.

A Cold Lake pedigree will serve you well in this deep freeze, Karen! And good for those of us who can make it to work unscathed.

Freeze-dried lobotomies may well be an explanation for many conditions, Jim Dandy. Maybe during the summer, it is heat stroke.
Being able to walk to work would certainly have its benefits these days!

We excel at One-Downmanship, don't we, Gifted Typist? It ties in with those Canadian interests of talking about the weather and complaining about how tough our lives are. We all win, really!

You poor dear, Beckeye, being scarred by Labyrinth. I suggest a steady diet of David Bowie videos. Maybe not.

It's because you have started filming your own scary movies, Just A. Don't deny it, I have seen some of those beer-fueled offerings.

Todd said...

That's pretty darn cold. I am good in sweaters and a vest with a toque, mitts and scarf down to -30 or 40, but all the way down to -50??? I think I'd rather hibernate and avoid that scene. I can't believe you can even drive in those conditions! lol - I keep imagining big blocks of ice on wheels.

justrun said...

Seriously, your post titles lately? Kick. Ass.

Anonymous said...

It is -30 (with wind chill factor it's -47) here!!!!! Most school buses were cancelled for today and tomorrow, but Bruno was right - not a real blizzard with snow. Just damn brrrrreezy and ccccchilly. Even my hard core choir was cancelled for tonight. Anyone want to do a home exchange?
Berni

Barbara Bruederlin said...

It is like driving around on big blocks of ice, Todd, and I have been thanking the gods of 4-wheel-drive daily now. My hibernation gene is starting to kick in now too. I think I'll go to bed till April or so.

Post titles are usually my favourite thing to write, Justrun, being naturally lazy. Glad you approve!

Your choir cancelled, Berni? Not too hardcore, are they, if they let a little -47C windchill keep them at home (although I cannot blame them).

mellowlee said...

Yes, and I am really enjoying the CDs, thanks again! Just getting ready to go to a movie (Untraceable) with my neighbor buddy Nadine. I hope it's a good movie, cause the popcorn at this particular theatre sucks! haha!

Deb said...

I want to see that one....I'm a gasper too.

Did you hear of those poor kids that froze in Regina (I think)?....awful. Kidsicles (I'm so bad).

We're wimps here. I think it's maybe -2 and we're all scared to go outside. Pathetic really.

But I didn't drive today because my mindless accident a couple months ago used up my good driving credit, so another one is gonna cost me.

I'm picturing Barb the Bison. :)

New and Used Records said...

You are a soldier when it comes to the cold ... there is no way I could handle that.

~Jen~ said...

you ARE the ruler of the universe...I knew it all along!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I heard you pretty much have to work to suspend your disbelief for Untraceable, Mel, but I would like to hear if you thought it was worth the crap popcorn.

Barb the Bison is scary, Deb! Keeps the cat on her toes anyway.
Yes, I heard about those little kids in Saskatchewan - heartbreaking.

You would be used to it in 3 days, Will! Honest. You should come up here and try it.

I was just thinking I ruled the lab, Jen, but universe? Sure why the hell not?

Will said...

I certainly would love to come and try it at some point.

As for The Orphanage, making it to the theater to see that may be a more realistic goal at the moment.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

It's a very laudable goal, Will, and one that is well attainable under the usual circumstances.

phlegmfatale said...

blogger crapped out on me as I posted my comment yestiddy, apparently.

On your recommendation, can't wait to see the Orphanage. Also, Weakerthans am coming to Dallas April 1. Will have to see them cause they always make me think of you!!!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh I hope you go see the Weakerthans, Phlegmmy! They always put on such a great show! They rock like mad and they are sweet and self-effacing. You just made my day telling me this!

Dale said...

I'm intrigued and must see it now. Thank you Barbara. If it's cold, it must be Canada!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

We secretly love the extreme cold, don't we, Dale? Or at least talking about it. Makes us appear so tough and virile.