Right about now I am starting to wonder if my mother in law has received her Christmas parcel from us yet. Because the second she does, she will have it ripped open. She will be thrilled for about half an hour, then she will forget that we even sent anything, and come Christmas she will be all depressed that she doesn't have anything to open. And this is not a sign of senility, she has always been like this.
I try to utilize just-in-time delivery on all her gifts but that's a little risky at this time of year. So I've had to realize that she is a big girl and has to take responsibility for her own actions.
She has a big heart, though. She takes it upon herself to ensure that all the strays have new underwear for Christmas even if she cannot remember their names; she does some creative regifting and then makes sure that everyone knows that it is a spite gift, and she'll even help you out if she thinks that you are opening your Christmas gifts too slowly. Because it's meant to be a race, don't you know?
I'm sure glad we didn't get her something like a George Foreman grill, like Jerry's brother got her for her birthday last month. That still has her puzzled. Everybody was explaining to her how it worked, how the little ridges allowed the grease to drain off the food and empty into a receptacle, and telling her how what kinds of food she could cook on it.
"What about eggs?" she wanted to know, and when we explained that eggs really wouldn't work all that well with the ridges, she tried another approach: "how about peas?" Um, no. "Then what about beans?"
I sort of wish I could be there to watch her cook something.
But I guess I'll just wait to hear about how she's got nothing to open at Christmas.