Tuesday, December 25, 2007

I'm an old slut on junk, lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed

At least I chose lyrics from Fairytale of New York for the title of this big whiny baby post, because that's as Christmassy as I am feeling right now.

Determined not to gain any weight this Christmas, whilst still gorging on everything in sight, I did extra duty on my workout a couple of days ago, and I seem to have pulled a muscle in my back. The ironing is delicious.

So am I spending my time hopped up on muscle relaxants and pain killers, and I am only crawling out of bed long enough to cook suppers and, I guess later on this morning, smile vacantly at my presents.

We did open one gift each last night, and my darling resident offspring got me the goat that I have been hinting at for a couple of years. What a great kid. No pun intended.

Sorry about the self-pity post, I'm just waiting for this last bout of spasms to settle down before I go back to bed and wait for the family to arise.

And I had all these lovely music-filled posts planned for you, but they will have to wait for a few days. There was even a hand-clap edition!

I hope you are all enjoying a lovely Christmas, whatever your circumstances. I shall return, bearing gifts.

20 comments:

Beth said...

Damn, that sucks, Barbara. I recommend a very strong nog to chase those pills. Hope you and your goat have a lovely Christmas!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Get well my friend. And Merry Christmas and happy Boxing Day to you as well.

Jas Bhambra said...

Oh no, Barb. Get better soon. And don't overdo the exercise.
I am concentrating on just eating for now! :)

Merry Christmas.

Toccata said...

Oh no, well here's hoping your back improves lickety split so you can go fight those crowds at the Boxing Sales tomorrow! What no Boxing Day Sales for you? Me neither. Boxing Day around here is all about World Junior Hockey and of course turkey buns!

Allison said...

Barb, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling worse today. Bugger! See, exercising will get us nowhere. I tell ya. I do hope that you start to feel better soon, and good on the Offspring for the goat. Well done!

Happy Christmas and get well soon!

phlegmfatale said...

Better an old slut than anything "cheap" or "maggot"y. Sorry your back's feeling rough, but at least you have some good meds to inspire your vacant, drool-be-swagged stare. Poor lamb.

jim dandy said...

How not to eat too much on Christmas.
Drink too much the night before!
hey, it worked for me. lol
Happy Boxing Day!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thanks Beth, we are nogless here but wine works just as well.

I shall be avoiding the Boxing Day crowds at all costs, Dr M.

You took the smart path, Jas. I don't think there will be any exercising in my vocabulary for quite a while.

Turkey buns! Yes, that is what I will concentrate on today, Toccata. Despite the fact that Old Faithful, our tv, broke down last night, we shall not be hitting the Boxing Day sales.

You are completely right, Al, exercising does not pay off. I sure hope we get a few postcards from the goat!

I have got the drooling stare down pat, Phlegmfatale, but fear I shall run out of meds today. I foresee a trip to the clinic.

Another option is to be hopped up on muscle relaxants, Jim. They don't lend themselves to competitive eating.

kelly said...

Bummer about the back...of course the family is waiting on you hand and foot...aren't they?

Anonymous said...

Hey,
That's unfortunate about the back. Nothing like being all jacked up on old muscle relaxants and pain killers.
Hope you had a great Christmas or what you can remember and talk to you soon.
Bruno

strangemange said...

oof, good grief girl, back pains are NOT da bomb. i mean, yeah, they bomb, but they aren't the shit. well, they ARE the shits but at least they aren't THE SHITS.

i'm done now.

merrrrrrry after 12/twenty-fifth to you! i'm so sorry to hear about your back... rest your fine self back up to snuff & lots of virtual soup to you sweets.

Deb said...

well I didn't want you to feel alone so I've screwed mine up as well. Nothing too bad, just one of those nagging things that keeps reminding me that if I dare move the wrong way, I'm toast.

We're old Barb. Let's just sign in to the home now and get it over with. I'll meet ya for a game of Bingo later.

Merry Christmas...a nice massage from Jerry is in order?

mellowlee said...

Oh nooooo :O( I hope you feel better soon Barb! XO

Karen said...

Yikes, back problems, never a good thing. WHat a crappy way to spend the holidays. Hopefully you're up and back to your zombie self soon!

Anonymous said...

Poor baby! Your backside does look quite buff tho. I can sort of feel your pain - I went xctry skiing 4 days ago and still cannot cross my legs.So, read, drink, rest and sing (or listen) lots for a few days.

justacoolcat said...

Some would argue hopped up on pills is the only way to spend Christmas. So. . .

Merry Christmas!

berni said...

Didn't mean to be secretive- the anon with the sore legs is just Berni,a techno-idiot. Glad to hear you are starting to heal, Barb.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thanks so much, everybody. I'm afraid I don't quite have it in me yet to answer everyone's comments individually, but each one of them has been a lifeline for me.

Dale said...

Did you say 'the ironing is delicious'? That's pretty funny intentional or not.

I should have been here to tell you to add copious amounts of Southern Comfort to the eggnog.

Never fear, I've agreed to put on everyone's weight this Christmas. Eat and drink up.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I have to admit to stealing the ironing is delicious from Bart Simpson, Dale. But had I known that you were going to do all the weight gaining for me, I would never have ventured down in the basement that day. Next time I will check with you.