Tuesday, December 11, 2007

gravity always wins

HA! You thought those Nalgene bottles were dangerous, with their petrochemical-derived bisphenol-A and what-not. It now appears that my regular plastic water bottle is out to kill me as well, or at least to do me serious injury. I wrenched my elbow this morning whilst attempting to pop open that sports cap and it still hurts. And this is not the first time this has happened either.

Pffft. Sports caps indeed. I strongly suspect the physiotherapist lobby has a hand in this.

Bastards.

Meanwhile it was one week ago yesterday that my Radiohead In Rainbows discbox was mailed out.
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I can picture Thom wrapping it carefully in recycled newsprint and scrawling my address upon the box, using his creative spelling, then hopping onto his bicycle with the banana seat and peddling down to the post office, where he waits in line behind a lady who is mailing a large parcel of spotted dick and canned custard to her nephew in Toronto. He would then hand my discbox to the mail clerk and warn her to be careful with it, it was for a very dear friend.
.
Still waiting.

Still waiting.

They did warn that it would be sent by road and sea whenever possible. I'm assuming this was done for environmental concerns. I hope to god they didn't send it by walrus express because those bastards are notoriously untrustworthy.

All the strain of the waiting did get me to wondering:

Which Radiohead song are you?

Karma Police

You talk in maths and buzz like a fridge. You're like a detuned radio. And also, her Hitler hairdo makes you feel ill.

Personality Test Results



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I cannot really argue with that, especially since I have always covetted the line "he buzzes like a fridge".

What about you? Got time to answer a few simple questions? It could change your life. Or simply justify your paranoia.

17 comments:

Becky said...

Haha, yes a quiz! I must say musical quizzes are the best...
they tell me I'm Black Star

Anonymous said...

I was extremely curious why the your Blog from yesterday was blocked by my employer. Perhaps some revealing digital photos of the birthday boy? Happy Birthday Jerry.
I was extremely disappointed when all it was,.... was DANCING POLAR BEARS!
I am extremely glad that big brother is assisting me in filtering out stuff that could possibly corrupt my mind.
Hey I knew drinking water was bad for your health! Do you know what fish do in water?
Bruno

Allison said...

I actually can't stop laughing at that quiz. The options?? Priceless.

I was the Black Star. Twas the PJ question I think.

Oh no, Royal Mail must have heard we're friends. I am sorry.

JustRun said...

Yikes, now waterbottles must have disclaimers and warnings. Scary. :)

Okay, OKAY. I will get on the Radiohead bandwagon. O-KAY.

Deb said...

I use my teeth to pry open my easy open sports bottle. It's easier to gnaw beer caps off than those bloody things.

Well I had this big spiel done up about why I'm "Scatterbrain" and even was going to clog up your internetz with these (what are thought to be "extended" lyrics):

somewhere I'm not in a force ten gale
swimming in an oil slick
pulled out by the tide
broke over lines, tonadoes eye.
going out o fmy mind, bad fucking vibess.
somewhere I cant hear this noise.
wildlife dying somewher with sunshine.
poisoned or poor no sharp pains or lumps.
a rare species being wiped out scattered far and wide.
eyes open him confused at a loss.
avoiding your gaze were the voices stop.
lightning fuse.
power cut.
on black ice, under floorboards.
just keeping afloat.
somewhwer Im not
just keeping afloat.
fingers dead in the ice
skin burning
watching the growths.
somewhere I cant
just change sides
bumper to bumper
nose to tail
always in my face
tv ariels bendt double, ina force ten gale.
watching someopne elses lights on the gangplank.
ive lost my train of thought, it happens all the time.
dont kno how old iam, tumbling down.
dont recognize us, thinking the wrong thoughts.
shoulkd maybe grow up
somwhere I dont give a fuck.
somwhere Im not under breaking oaks.
pulling up asphalt pulling up rocks.
the roots dig up the road
a blobk of ice
not in a rash doing bad dance.
more rain,sticking rain.
there used to be a field, now thers a lake.

And then I saw the quiz.

And I'm also Karma Police.

Soul sisters, I'm telling ya.

Deb said...

oh, they were copy/pasted "as is".

I am the Queen of hogging space.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You started it all, Becky. Now see what you've done, you Black Star, you!

Ah yes, but they were nekid dancing polar bears, Bruno. That sort of behaviour is not tolerated by big brother.
What fish do in water? The same thing you do? I've seen you!

It had to have been the pj answer, Al, they see you sitting there in your dressing gown all day.
Are you telling me I am now on the Royal Mail shit list? Oh great, we all know how that turns out.

Can you imagine all the warnings you'd have to put on the bottles if you were to put boiling water in them, Justrun? The mind boggles.
So we're wearing you down with the Radiohead lovin' finally, are we?

I don't know what is gobsmacking me more, Deb - the uber-Radioheadism or the fact that you sacrifice your teeth to those evil sports bottle lids.
Us Karma Police gals have to stick together, especially when we are both a little Scatterbrain as well.

BeckEye said...

Yay!I'm my favorite Radiohead song, "Black Star!" I won't blame it on anyone, because that's awesome!

I hear Thom is going on a Forrest Gump-style run across North America, hand delivering all of the CDs. You might have a long wait.

John Mutford said...

I'm Karma Police, too.

Nice image of Thom, by the way.

justacoolcat said...

I'm Karma Police too. Go figure.

She's Crafty said...

apparently you know a lot of black star's? It must be the pajama option. And now I read allison's comment, lol! (note to self: read al's comments before write one myself...great minds think alike).

Bubs said...

You know, I don't think I've ever heard a Radiohead song, but I enjoyed the quiz. I'm "Knives Out".

I agree with you about those stupid sport bottles, by the way.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Beckeye - is Black Star your favourite Radiohead song because you spend all day in your dressing gown, or do you spend all day in your dressing gown because Black Star is your favourite Radiohead song? It's one of life's perennial questions.
Good thing Thom is a fast runner, that's all I can say. He's gonna be pretty sweaty by the time he gets here.

Yes, another Karma Policeian, John! It's a role I've always rather fancied for myself anyway.
Do you think my portrayal of Thom is accurate?

Just A, so am I to assume that you like to chase people down dark alleys with your car too? I know I do.

It's always advisable to read Allison's comments first, Serah. And yes, there seem to be a lot of all-day pyjama-wearers amongts my peeps. The rest of us are out saving the universe.

Oh we must correct this oversight, Bubs, particularly since you are Knives Out, which is a pretty cool song.
If an athlete like you has issues with the sports bottles, there is no hope for a schlub like me, is there?

BeckEye said...

No, it's my fav-O-rite because I make all the boys on the subway fall over and pass out.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You have the Power, Beckeye! Despite the fact that you neglect your "u"s.

New and Used Records said...

Hey ... I am "Karma Police" too. I think Thom is hand delivering each one himself, only he is twitching the whole way.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Go Karma Police! I imagine there is a fair bit of twitching that is ocurring, Will, and it's all for a good cause.