Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Help the stupid

I realize that I’m not the sharpest crayon in the shed, but even taking that into consideration, there are far too many things I don’t understand.

For example:
Why do you need a wheelchair if you are visually impaired?

For instance:
Why does my cat always pick the toy that's made out of the snaggiest material, so that her tongue gets caught on it when she licks it?



And also:
In the Decemberists’ song, Leslie Ann Levine, poor little Leslie Ann is “born at 9:00, dead at noon”, and her ghost has been wandering for 15 years. Okay I can suspend my disbelief for that, but the part that freaks me out is the chimney sweep (“the only love I’ve known”).

What is a freakin chimney sweep ghost doing messing with a 3-hour old baby ghost? I don’t care if he’s dead, what a sick fuck.

Or do ghosts age? This I don’t understand.

What's had you puzzled lately?

My name is Leslie Ann Levine
My mother birthed me down a dry ravine
My mother birthed me far too soon
Born at nine and dead at noon
.
Fifteen years gone now
I still wander this parapet
And shake my rattle bone
Fifteen years gone now
I still cling to the petticoats
Of the girl who died with me
.
On the roofs above the streets
The only love I've known's a chimney sweep
Lost and lodged inside a flue
Back in 1842
.
Fifteen years gone now
I still wail from these catacombs

And curse my mother's name
Fifteen years gone now
Still a wastrel mesallied
Has brought this fate on me
.
My name is Leslie Ann Levine
I've got no one left to mourn for me
My body lies inside its grave
In a ditch not far away
.
Fifteen years gone now
I still wander this parapet
And shake my rattle bone
Fifteen years gone now
I still cling to the petticoats
Of the girl who died with me


7 comments:

justrun said...

All good questions. Now what were you avoiding thinking about while you thought about these? :)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You know me too well, Justrun. It was boredom at work that was to blame.

justacoolcat said...

I totally agree the Decemberists suck.

URBAN PEDESTRIAN said...

I'm puzzled as to why you keep your crayons in the barn? Is this like an arts and crafts barn, or just a plain cows, hay and rats barn?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You're doing that on purpose, aren't you, Just A, totally miscontruing my words? Damn you and your wily ways!

Hi Urban Pedestrian, welcome! This is an excellent point you bring up and it could offer a possible explanation as to why I have cows and pigs making themselves comfortable in my spare room. I was wondering how that happened.

justacoolcat said...

Damn you and your knowing me!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You're an open book, dude!