Tuesday, September 11, 2007

how to eat a live frog

The resident offspring’s school is making me fat(ter).

I have to drive her to school, as it would take her almost an hour to get there by public transit and she is not a morning person. The school keeps moving back the starting time each year though, and that affects what time I start, and consequently finish, work.

I used to get home with enough time to have a quick workout before starting in on my second job cooking supper, but now can barely walk through the door and people are already perishing from hunger (including yours truly, admittedly). And this lazy zombie is not about to get off her ass after supper.

My once Rubinesque figure is becoming distinctly Santa-esque.

I was once told that if you were required to eat a live frog every day, the best approach was to swallow that amphibian first thing in the morning, or you would spend your whole day thinking about having to eat that live frog. On weekends I have always used the same philosophy toward exercising. After a few cups of java and a bit of internetzing, of course.

Now I am going to try this approach on the days that I work. The marital unit gets up before 5:00 anyway, and I am the lightest sleeper since the princess and her damned pea, so I keep drifting in and out of sleep until 6:00 anyway.

I am going to start getting up at 5:30, blast off a quick 25 minute run on the elliptical before I fully wake up - no weights - have a quick stretch, and that slimy frog will have been swallowed for the day. It sounds so simple, how can I fail?

I am telling you all this so that you can prod me periodically with a “hey, how’s that 5:30 workout coming along, lardass?” and I’ll either be shamed into continuing with the plan or I’ll simply stop blogging.


Deb said...

I think that's a good plan. Get it over with and then in the evenings you can eat chocolate and relax.

I'll prod you every once in a while. My working out's hit and miss right now...did an awesome bike ride tonight.. I kept riding through a movie that was being filmed here. Seriously, 3 times, in 3 different spots. I'm quite sure they thought I was a stalker. But it seems we just were travelling the same route. And I was there first (hmmmf).

Toccata said...

So are you saying you are going to do this twice a week? Is that what I'm reading here?

Oh, and I second Deb's idea of spending the evening eating chocolate. Isnt' chocolate considered a health food now adays?

Stephanie said...

This is why I should apply to Calgary Public Schools - Saving supper, one house at a time

I'm a dreamer, clearly

Karen said...

I considered the same thing but I'm just too pooped to party first thing in the morning. Besides, I'm trying to walk home after work each day (ha ha ha...yeah, like that happens) and I enjoy the solitude and fresh air more than my elliptical in the darkness of 430am.

Beth said...

You're a much stronger person than I. When I wake up an hour earlier than usual (as I did yesterday), I grab the nearst book and read in bed until the alarm goes off.

Not surprisingly, my behind left "Rubinesque" behind a couple of years ago.

Joe said...

I hate getting up early to do anything, but I love the feeling of being up early. Go figure.

I do know it's easier for me to run first thing in the morning than it is at the end of the day.

Good luck.

JustRun said...

I love running in the early morning for this very reason. The day feels so much easier after that and you can go on to think of more important things, like tacos. ;)

justacoolcat said...

Hey, how’s that 5:30 workout coming along, lardass?

Sorry, but I had to be the first to ask such a wicked question.

No frogs were harmed in the making of this comment.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Maybe you'll be riding right through the film, Deb, over and over again. You'll have to let us know what film it is so we can keep an eye out for the fit cyclist.

Chocolate is its own food group, Toccata. 6-8 servings per day is what is recommended.
Yup the 5:30 workouts are only going to happen two days a week, so I think that's doable. The other days it will be at a civilized hour, except on Monday when it will be replaced by chocolate consumption.

That's exactly the kind of dreaming the Calgary Board of Education needs, Stephanie. You will likely be given the keys to the city.

4:30am is just ungodly, Karen. I know people who call that bedtime. 5:30 is so much more civilized.
Walking home sounds lovely, however is probably horrible some days. Good thing I live 30 kms from work, I guess, so I can't even consider it.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Reading for an hour is smart use of your lying awake time too, Beth. I usually just lie there and toss back and forth while I attempt to turn off my brain. Funny how it can stay dormant all day long, but in the middle of the night, all of a sudden it wants to think.

I know exactly what you mean, Bubs - I hate to get up but feel great when I am up early and have extra time, especially on weekends. I'm actually looking forward to the first try tomorrow now, so thanks.

If I start struggling, I will think of tacos, Justrun, or at least I will think about having the luxury of thinking about tacos later. If you know what I mean. Running outside in the early morning is likely nicer than running in your basement, though, but still.

I'm just heading out to the pet store to buy a month's supply of live frogs this afternoon, Just A, so I'll keep you posted on how my lardass is handling things. And whether I am able to stay awake to watch South Park tomorrow night.

justacoolcat said...

Well, that sounds a lot better than the ass kicking I figured you'd give me.

John Mutford said...

Eating tree frogs? Getting up at 5:30 to exercise? (sniff, sniff) I don't even know who you are anymore!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

With mylardass, Just A? Not likely.

Are you sniffing for pot smoke, John? I'm strictly on the crack now.

mellowlee said...

I just may join you in the 5:30am workout plan. I feel like a bag of hammered crap at the end of the day, and there is no way I'm gonna end up on my elliptical trainer after enduring transit hell each afternoon ;O) 2 days a week sounds about right to me...to start with anyways!!!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I tried it for the first time this morning Mel and it wasn't easy. Thankfully I can exercise at a more civilized time on other days.
"hammered crap" hahaha