Wednesday, September 05, 2007

filibustering

Some time ago, long enough now that is has become downright embarrassing, I was tagged by both Deb and Karen to reveal some random things about myself. One of the memes was for 8 items, the other for 10. I'm going to split the difference and reveal 9 deep dark secrets about myself. Don't tell anybody.

1. I have a cast iron stomach and will eat pretty much anything.
There are a few exceptions. A few years ago I developed an intolerance to squid. It took me 3 tries to figure out what all the stabbing pain and dry heaves was about. The texture of sea cucumber does make me gag, and duck feet are just a waste of time. I will eat creamed corn, if necessary, but think it is stupid.

2. If I was a boy, I would have been named Bruce.

3. I love lakes and trees and don't like mountains.

So naturally I live in a city which is a one hour drive from the Rockie Mountains, in a province which has virtually no lakes. Mountains make me feel uncomfortable and slightly claustrophobic. As a prairie girl, I need to be able to see my dog running away for three days.

4. My stripper name would be Smoky Buckingham.
Actually that's not completely correct. The first name (my first pet) is fine, but the last name (the first street on which I lived) is actually the first street on which I remember living. Until I was 2, we lived in Germany and nobody can seem to remember the name of the street. But judging from some of my relatives' addresses, it would likely make my stripper name Smoky Himmelreichstrasse or something. And that's just scary. A little too Ilsa She Wolf of the SS.


5. I can't print a lowercase k.
It always comes out looking like a capital K.

6. I don't like perfume or any artifical smells, really.
I once almost accidentally killed myself by spraying that Fabreze stuff on a pillow. As soon as I put my head on it, my lungs started filling with fluids and I had to spend the night sitting upright in order to be able to breathe. Since then it's been a return to my senses and my long-held belief that one should just open a damn window already.

7. I can't read music.
The teachers tried valiantly to teach me all through elementary and junior high school, but it just didn't take.

8. I hate clutter, but can tolerate a filthy floor.
If the clutter is at eye level, it makes me crazy. Floors I can ignore. Ideally I would live a minimalist life, but that's not about to happen anytime soon, living with a couple of packrats as I do.


9. I'm secretly looking forward to turning 50 next fall.
50 year old women wear purple bikinis and rock the Bowflex. Women in their 40s are tired, overworked, and invisible. There's nothing very sexy about that. I've been in my 40s almost long enough now.
50 is going to be awesome.

Consider yourself tagged!

I sure would love to hear some quirky shit about you.

22 comments:

allison said...

"As a prairie girl, I need to be able to see my dog running away for three days."

This made me laugh quite a bit, as did many others, but that line just stuck out.

I was looking at your sidebar...60 pound history texts, I feel that pain. My art history text in first year uni was a good 50. I think they need to start putting the "Got Milk?" stickers on the inside of the textbooks as kids surely are gonna need their strength to lift those suckers.

Karen said...

We have a number of lakes, silly! I used to live in the "Lakeland" district :) It's just you southern folks that don't get water...

BeckEye said...

Oh God, I was served sea cucumber at a Chinese wedding and I couldn't bring myself to try it. I tried just about everything else (including duck TONGUE, not feet...talk about a waste) but that thing looked like it might slither off my plate, suck on to my face and turn me into some kind of pod. I was very frightened of it.

justacoolcat said...

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that gets way behind on tags. I'd play along, but you know, there's nothing quirky about this cat.

She's Crafty said...

I'm a mountain girl - I think it's the altitude. Also, that I've lived in BC my whole life. Not being able to see the mountains is worrisome.

John Mutford said...

We're so aliKe!

1. I hate sea cucumbers too. Nasty, nasty stuff.

2. If I was a girl, I would have been named Brucette.

3. I once Killed a mountain.

4. OKay, this one we don't have in common.

5. I can't type a lowercase K.

6. Ditto. Especially that stuff that smells like old ladies and church.

7. I can't spell mucis.

8. I once Killed clutter.

9. Not so much.

John Mutford said...

Ooops, I missed the "k" in #6- so I lied.

Dale said...

Creamed corn is very stupid Bruce.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

That's an old prairie joke that never gets stale, Al.
Eva's textbook is so massive (and she needs it for 2 years) that we ordered a used one off Amazon to keep at home, but it's going to take 8 weeks to get here. So now I have one on hold at the library. School is a lot more complicated than I remember.

You're right, Karen. It's just that us southern folk forget that anyone else exists.
There are some mighty nice lakes up north.

You were smart not to try the sea cucumber, Beckeye. I've only ever seen it chopped up in tiny little pieces (which looked like bits of snot) and that was scary enough. I wonder what happened to all that leftover sea cucumber from the wedding you attended?

Oh no, nothing quirky about you whatsoever, Just A. See how kind I can be?

That's weird, Serah, I get worried when I CAN see the mountains. Well, that's not strictly true, I do like the view from the foothills, just not being in the mountains themselves.

Maybe it was the missed k in #6 that makes that old ladies' smell, John.
This is one of the most intricate and complete comments I have ever encountered. It's a novel!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Ooops missed you there Dale. Creamed corn is the retarded cousin of the vegetable world. It's a vegetable's vegetable.

Deb said...

Ya know, this was just was the doctor ordered for me. Your posts have a way of cheering me up after I've eaten rotten food and I want to thank you for doing what Gravol, Pepto and all that other crap couldn't....make me feel good.

Seriously - I'm with Allison on the dog running away for three days. My good God, you have a way with words and if you ever stop blogging I'm coming to live with you so I can laugh on a daily basis.

Seriously.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Your room is all ready, Deb! Hey wait, does that mean I have to stop blogging? Tough decision!

Zed said...

Well, it took me forever to get here since I first read your posts over on Dale's blog, but I'm a procrastinator. I make it where I want to go eventually. Here I am! :)

My responses to your responses:
1. I hate squid, sea cucumber, duck feet AND creamed corn, so we're in agreement there.
2. If I were a boy, I would have been named Vincent, after my dad.
3. I like mountains. They're good. What type of person doesn't like mountains? Okay this might not be making a good first impression.
4. My stripper name would have been Muffin 67th Street.
5. I CAN print a lowercase AND uppercase k and K.
6. Ah, Febreeze!
7. I can read music. But not well.
8. I have clutter at levels other than eye level (floor level, closet shelf level). Don't hate me.

Great blog. I'll be back. Sorry for taking up so much space!

mellowlee said...

Haha! I love your list! I'm so bad with the tagging thing. Sea cucumber sounds soooo repulsive!!!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Hi Zed, welcome! How lovely of you to make the trek over here from Dale's.
Vincent is a much better name than Bruce (sorry Bruce). Your parents must love you more than mine do. I am impressed by your k printing ability and your stripper name both. You've got it in spades and I shall drop by to visit.

Tagging is a big responsibility, Mel, not for the faint of heart. Sea cucumber is not something you want to spot on your plate, that's for sure.

kelly said...

i've eaten sea cucumber fresh after bringing it up from the ocean floor...didm't do so much for me either, neither did urchin.

Creamed corn on mashed potatoes...yummmmmmmmm...one of those things that brings back childhood memories of family dinners...sigh

A Ghost's Story said...

duck feet? ain't they all BONE by the time they're cooked? What IS there to cook?

sea cucumbers are a bit disturbing to begin with, to EAT them... Well, your stomach is cast eye-run.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

What do sea cucumbers look whilst alive, Kelly? I've only seen them cut up and resembling chunks of snot on a plate.
I don't understand or trust creamed corn.

I know! It's like chewing your nails, with maybe a few nibbles of the skin around them, A Ghost's Story. Cast eye - run - haha nice play on words.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I bet you rock that Bowflex hard girl.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

In my mind I do, Monkey, in reality I rock my comfy chair a lot harder.

phlegmfatale said...

wow - someone eats sea cucumber? Willingly?
Well, not much of a loss on the squid thingie, is it?

My stripper name is Peppy Holcomb. Exciting, non?
No.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I used to like squid, PF, but yeah there are a lot of other creatures I can eat.

Your stripper name has a certain sassiness to it.