Saturday, July 07, 2007
and the pain was enough to make a shy bald buddhist reflect and plan a mass murder
Today I consider myself to be the luckiest person alive. I am not spending the entire summer with my leg in a cast, as I thought I would be doing. I don't know whether I should thank the goddesses or that grey-haired old man in the sky or Vishnu or my own awesome cells and lymphocytes for doing such an amazing job, but I am very grateful.
It was a grocery shopping injury and we all know how deadly those can be. One bloody hole in the entire Safeway parking lot and I stepped in it. If I hadn't been hanging onto a shopping cart at the time, I would have gone down like a tonne of bricks. And then I could have added bloody knees and shattered elbows to the mix.
As it was, my resulting limp evolved into a ballooning foot and within a few hours I could no longer bear any weight on it. I've had a broken ankle before and the sensation was disturbingly familiar. So Jerry dug up my old crutches out of the basement and I headed to bed with the painkillers that were left over from a back injury last summer, anticipating a day spent waiting in Emerg today.
And there, as I carefully tossed and turned throughout the night, trying to find some comfortable position without jarring my foot, I thought about the implications of spending the next six weeks in a cast. Since the injury was to my driving foot, it was going to be really difficult to drive the 60 kms to and from work each day, especially at 100km/hour on the Deerfoot. And then it's a 10 minute walk from the parking lot to my building. And I suck at crutches. But I figured I could somehow get to work once and then take stuff home with me. Work was the least of my concerns.
What really killed me was the realization that I would have to miss the folk festival, including volunteering at the record tent. The locale has some pretty rough terrain, a lot of the stages are in amongst trees and it's quite hilly. I would end up with two broken ankles by the end of it.
Plus our planned trip to Manitoba would be in jeopardy as well, as that would be right about when I would get the cast off.
Throughout the long miserable night, I progressed through all the stages of grief:
denial - "I did not park in that spot, I did not wear those shoes",
anger - "how could I have been so stupid?",
bargaining - "just give me this one day to do over again",
depression - "what's the point, I'll just lie here for six weeks and get fat(ter)",
and finally, acceptance - "it is what it is, I will get a lot of reading done, maybe learn to play guitar and I'll be able to spend more time with Eva".
I finally fell aseep and then this morning, I lay in bed, thinking that the pain was not so bad. I cautiously moved my toes and felt no bolts of lightning shooting up my leg. Finally, I sat up, swung my legs over the side of the bed, and pulled myself up with the crutches. And then I very carefully placed my foot on the floor. And I did not die!
My foot is not broken after all! I am using crutches, but only so I don't put my entire massive weight on my foot,and I figure I should be off them in a few days. And I didn't have to go to Emerg.
My life is perfect. I will not take mobility for granted ever again. I have seen the light.
What kind of reprieves have you unexpectedly received? Did they change you?