Wednesday, June 13, 2007

If you find yourself Courtney Love

Are these amazing photos or what? Berni sent them to me to calm my traffic-frazzled nerves. Thanks, sis, you're da bomb (also da balm).

Chart magazine seems to print every letter that I send them. Either I am the world's finest letter writer or nobody writes to the poor bastards. Mind you they are also fond of printing the wild rants, you know the type - ALLL CPS AND FULL FO SPELLINF MSTAKES!!! NAD ANGRY!!!

They also seem to favour those letters coming in from soccer moms in support of "musicians" like Kalin Porter and that other Idol guy whose name I forget. Oh and Whitney Houston. They love those ones.

Mis-heard lyrics are something at which I excel apparently. I will blissfully sing along using the wrong words. Hell, I've been known to sing the wrong lyrics to the entire blogosphere.

Some personal favourites, without resorting to sites like Kiss this Guy, are as follows. These are all lyrics either misheard personally by yours truly or by folks I know. No musicians were harmed in the singing of these lyrics.
"baby if I was into men, you would be mine"
(maybe if I was in demand, you would be mine)
"you told me you wanted to eat up my sandwich"
(you told me you wanted to eat up my sadness)
"we've got to fool Phil to boot"
(we've got to fulfill the book)
"if you find yourself Courtney Love"
(if you find yourself caught in love)
"Kenneth lies next to me, whispering"
(my gun it lies next to me, whispering)
"I waffle my machine"
(I walk to my machine)
Care to share any of your finest misheard moments?


justacoolcat said...

Is that your sister in the pictures? Those are totally amazing and CameraPhone5000 is quite jealous.

As for songs; I make up lyrics so often I'm at the point where I often prefer my own to the original.

Allison said...

Those are pretty grand photos!

I'm horrible with the lyrics as well, and I often favor my choice to the real versions, as was the case with this R.E.M song I recently heard incorrectly. But don't ask me what its called, I'm worse with song titles ;

Joe said...

Those are indeed beautiful pictures. My dad used to have a hummingbird feeder outside his window and it was soothing and hypnotic to sit and watch them.

So, when you write to that magazine do you always start off with YOUR SO-CLALLED "PUBLICATION" PROBALBY WON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO PRINT THIS LETTER...

Becky said...

Those are amazing photos!

I live for misheard lyircs... for the longest time I swore 'Mushaboom' went:
"Little rug belly on the mat"
When it'a actually:
"Little road barely on the map."
I got a lot of weird looks before I bothered to read the lyrics :P
For a Christmas I got a day-by-day calender of misheard lyrics, I can tell you it's very amusing (too bad I don't have it here... there are some pretty odd ones in there)

BeckEye said...

One of my dumber misheard lyrics:
"An Amana machine with two or three dishes."

(I'm a man on a mission in two or three editions - Elvis Costello, "Every Day I Write the Book.")

Barbara Bruederlin said...

No, Just A, it's a woman in Louisiana named Abagail, who apparently lives in a hummingbird fly zone - who knew there were such things.
I also often prefer my versions of songs. Everybody knows you have to waffle your machine now and then for proper maintenance, for example.

You'd be a great candidate for the meouw meouw meouw version of lyrics then, Al. A meouw will always fit. If I were ever to record an album, I would name every song track 1, track 2 etc just for you.

You've read my letter then obviously, Bubs! That's exactly how I start them. They like that.
My folks had a hummingbird feeder too - they are the coolest little birds.

What a great gift, Becky! I think I know what to hint for now!
I LOVE "little rug belly on the mat" - the imagery is priceless.

HAHAHA beautiful, Beckeye! No doubt you were wondering why he didn't fill that Amana machine all the way up before washing those dishes. I love stuff like that.

Evelyne said...

Mishear lyrics can be really funny, and even more when the lyrics are in English and you hear something in French. And those birds are really cool!

mellowlee said...

Oooh Pretty hummingburdies!!! I love those photos. Misheard lyrics are great! I can't think of any of my past ones just now. My brain is too lazy lately.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh wow, never thought of that, Evelyne. Hearing french words in the place of english lyrics. That would put a whole new twist on things!

I'll bet you have some good ones in your past though, Mel!
Those birds are amazing, aren't they? I can't even imagine how that would feel to have a mittfull of birds like that.

Jas B said...

LOL@ da bomb (also da balm)

I am a pro at mishearing the lyrics!!

Beth said...


My best misheard lyric is from "Theme from 'Shaft'". Up until about 10 years ago, I thought He's a complicated man was He's a carpet-layin' man. I'd never seen the movie, so I thought it had something to do with his way with the ladies. I prefer my line.

John Mutford said...

Hah. I didn't think I had any misheard lyrics, then I read Becky's Mushaboom comment- I had always thought it was "Little raw belly on the map"- I just assumed it was a term I hadn't heard of and never bothered checking deeper.

Anyway, Chart magazine published a rant of mine a few years ago bitching about Nardwar. I have never found him even remotely funny and I demanded that his career be over.

John Mutford said...

Oh and "I'm gonna bake my crusty Cajun buns" instead of "I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run."

Not really, but whenever I hear that song I can't help but sing my own lyrics (I've always known the difference). I fancy myself a Weird Al. Half right, I suppose.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'm going to make you sing some of those for me at work today, Jas.

I can dig it, Beth! Your version is so much better, full of the sly innuendo for the foxy ladies. Right on.

"weird John Mutfordavich" - has a certain ring to it. Maybe you could get a regular gig on Going Coastal and kick Nardwuar's ass. I'd pay to see that, actually.

JustRun said...

Sweet picture of da birds!

(Dat's kinda like da bomb.) :)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Dose birds are da bomb, Justrun. Damn it's hard to turn that off, innit?

Deb said...

one of mine is pretty damn gross...I don't quite know how I'd think these would be the lyrics, but it IS Gord Downey, so....

Little Bones

"baby eat this chicken slop
it's full of barf and little bones"

"baby eat this chicken slow
it's full of all those little bones"

Barbara Bruederlin said...

hahahaha Deb! That's the most amzing thing I've heard all day. Kinda turns you off chicken, doesn't it?

Will said...

I don't even try singing anymore, because i never know the words to anything ... I much prefer just making up new ones about my cat.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Awwww, I love songs about people's cats, Will! I'll bet Ivy loves them too, because cats are such music lovers, and also quite self-centered.