Friday, May 04, 2007

stop me oh oh oh stop me, stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

I'll be looking for Mother's Day gifts for my mom and mother-in-law today. I have sent them both flowers so often that they must feel like they are living in a mortuary at times. So I'm looking for something different.

My mom's present should be simple enough; she is quite pleased to tuck into some really good chocolate. My mother-in-law is an entirely different story. She doesn't like anything. Did I ever tell you the story of the spite tablecloth? I can't recall ...

It was Christmas of 2003, no 2004 because that was the year we got the new truck ... I remember because we went to the farmer's market and bought all that red cabbage - back then we called it stink cabbage ... I remember I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time ... you couldn't get those white ones, you could only get those big yellow ones ... now where was I ... oh yeah the important thing was I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time, you couldn't get those white ones ...

Anyway, Jerry's mom came to visit and brought some gifts (including a bunch of Christmas ornaments with 2000 written on them - this was in 2004), and she gave me a very lovely tablecloth. Although I don't use tablecloths, this one was really quite lovely and I thanked her profusely and commented on how lovely it was.

And then she told me the story of how she came to give it to me. She had seen a similar one that her friend had made for herself and had really liked it and asked her friend to make one for her as well. "But then I waited and I waited and it took her so long to make it, that when she finally gave it to me, I was so mad that I didn't want it anymore, so I give it to you!"
Oh great, just what I've always wanted - a spite gift.

Maybe more flowers isn't such a bad idea, after all.

Here's the random (and yes Fearless - it is completely random, so get off my case) playlist for this fine cold and rainy Friday. The music is kinda odd for me, but suits the weather:

Bye Bye Birdman - the Stone Roses
Rockaway Beach - the Ramones
Hello Time Bomb (acoustic version) - Matthew Good
Deep Blue Day - Brian Eno
Strange Currencies - R.E.M.
To Have and to Have Not - Billy Bragg
Won't Get Fooled Again - the Who
Strobe Light - the B-52's
11:59 - Blondie
Theologians - Wilco

Have a wonderful weekend, my pretties. Keep an eye on the skies. The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire ... naturally we blamed the Irish ... we hanged more 'n a few...


668 aka neighbour of the beast said...

hahahaha.. a spite gift. too funny.

Anonymous said...

I gave my mom-in-law filigree hoop earrings once. She gave them back a few months later, said hoops and such rattled interfering with her hearing aid. Liar, liar, because I have seen her wearing hoops or dangling earbobs since.

Allison said...

Lol, that's great, a spite gift. Well, at least it was a tablecloth, could have been worst.

Thanks for reminding me its Mother's Day soon, bad daughter I am. I'm lucky though my mom accepts flowers and art still.

Karen said...

That's hilarious, in a way stories about the inlaws can only be. Why don't people just shut up, smile and say "you're welcome". :) Think of it this way, no matter what the reason, you've got a fabulous tablecloth that you drag out each Christmas.

This year I'm finally doing something big for my mom for mother's day. A trip to the spa for massages and pedicures after a yummy breakfast out. If your mom lives in Cowtown, why not take yourself, her and Eva out for a day of pampering or at least a high-faluting lunch at some schmancy restaurant? As for the mother in law? Ask a friend to make her a tablecloth... tee hee.

Malnurtured Snay said...

I hope they don't keep the flowers around for THAT long!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh she's full of good ones, that MIL of mine, 668. I may have to share some more stories sometime.

Mine gives presents back to me as well, Leazwell, but at least she doesn't lie about the reason. She just tells me she doesn't want them anymore. (She is not particularly noted for her diplomacy.)

Oh you've got lots of time, Al.You are right - I've heard some gifting horror stories and guess I should consider myself blessed.
Flowers are art are always lovely to receive, although lately I've been requesting a day when I don't have to feed anybody.

True enough, Karen - no matter what happens, I've got a tablecloth!
Unfortunately my mom is out of province, but isn't mobile enough to dine out anyway. But what a great mother's day gift you are giving your mom - she is going to be thrilled!
And no more tablecloths for the MIL!

Well they are thrifty women, Mal Snay, but I think even they have their limits.

Joe said...

"Spite gift"

I'll be adding that to my lexicon, thanks!

What a very cool list! You got a few of my favorites in there.

Uh,yeah, by the way.. what was the deal with the onion?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thanks Bubs -it's a bit of a departure from my usual list, but that's never a bad thing.

Oh yeah the onion bit - that was just me being too cryptic for my own good, I got it into my head to start rambling like Abe Simpson and ended up actually putting some Abe quotes into the post, but then forgot that nobody else would know what I was talking about. hehe

Toccata said...

A spite gift! That's great. I think plastic flowers might be in order.

Anonymous said...


Johnny Yen said...

I'm blessed to have great in-laws. And my mother is delighted every year, because I am her only non-dysfunctional son, she gets two things she treasures from me every year-- a Mother's Day card that arrives before Mother's Day, and not a week after, and she gets flowers, one of her very favorite things in the world.

The other two idiots either send nothing, or send a card a week late. You can understand why I don't talk to either of them.

Great, great shuffle today! Strobe Light, Won't Get Fooled Again, Billy Bragg...

Theologians is one of my very favorite songs.

About ten minutes ago I ordered a new copy of Ramonesmania-- my son and I have worn our old copy out.

When I was in New York nearly ten years ago, I was at the airport, waiting for the train into Manhattan, and was shocked to see a sign nearby with an arrow pointing to "Rockaway Beach." I had no idea there really was a Rockaway Beach-- I'd assumed they'd made it up!

Danny Tagalog said...

Hey - I'm re-listening to Flightless Bird after a long day's work and the track 39:20 in hits me in all the right locations - the eargasm as Black Francis once called it.

A real fucked up Neu!Bloody Rumbletime of a sound

John Mutford said...

Oh this has been my favourite post in a while. So many pop culture references came to mind...

1. The title- yes, most recently you had it as your quote of the day, with the more complete lyrics "Nothing's changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
...Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to". I had taken it personally at the time ;)

2. She reminds me of Raymond's mom. (And I take it that she doesn't check your blog regularly?)

3. The homage to Abe Simpson- C'est magnifique!

4. The spite gift reminded me of the infamous "peace pie" from Corner Gas.

Man, I've watched too much TV. Still, it's enhanced my blogreading experience, so it hasn't been for naught.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

That would really hit home, Toccata, as she always had a lovely flower garden when they were still in their house. But no, I'll do (real) flowers. Yet again.

hahahaha that she is, Anony (if that is in fact your real name)!

Johnny: Argghhh! I could never understand sending a card to arrive late! Okay sometimes the mail will screw up and it will arrive the next day, but a week? C'mon that's not even trying.
I'm not that big a Ramones fan, yet they often appear on my Friday lists. Neat story about Rockaway Beach though - I assumed it was fictional as well.

I'm going to give that a good full listen today, Danny. I'm looking forward to it.
Frank Black actually played here a few months ago, and he played some Pixies songs! We went nuts!

John, it's only slightly less than I used to, so please don't feel snubbed.
hahaha there is a bit of Raymond's mom there, albeit with a Polish accent and a sharp finger pointing in your face. No, computers are safe from the moms.
I'm pleased you caught the Abe Simpson ramblings - I forgot to explain what I was doing there and I'm sure many folks are convinced I have lost it. They may be right.
I missed that Corner Gas episode! Obviously I am not watching enough tv.

Anonymous said...

Flowers are a really good thing to send your mom. Because she is inside most of the time, there is not much in the way of vegetation. It is like a breath of life and colour - most anything else is either too practical or put in a drawer - and she really loves the flowers that you send because you send such lovely ones.

justacoolcat said...

Great Grandpa Simpson take and Random Ten. Isn't it odd how the players seem to sense the weather?

Serah said...

I am giving a I-hate-this-brand-new-never-worn-top-on-me-so-you can-have-it birthday gift to a very good friend of mine. She is sure to make it work and I need to give her a gift. Is that terrible of me? Not really a spite gift. That was a great story.
No mothers day gift getting or buying for me. I might get a card from my daughter that she made at daycare? My mom is in the Dominican Republic. So I don't have to get her anything since she is away and I am watching my smelly 15 year old brother and the house and the dog for her. I am also getting to duck out of buying her a 50th birthday present but I am going to get her a huge bunch of roses for the day she comes home anyway.

mellowlee said...

Oh, great list, I wanna listen to some B52s now. I dont know why the heck she told you that about the table cloth. Regifting is supposed to be a secret ssshhheeeezah! ....umm I hope my mom will be happy with a phone call *gulp*

Fearless said...

Bye Bye Birdman, eh? Either you have been illegally downloading mislabeled mp3's or that's a heck of a typo.

BeckEye said...

I'm trying to figure out what the tigers in the tub have to do with anything...but they're so cool looking that I guess it doesn't really matter.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Well thanks, Kathy, that's good to know. I will send her flowers again then. And chocolate as well, because she deserves it, and she can always share with visitors and nurses and such.

Players know more than we give them credit for, Just A. I think they are stealthily plotting an overthrow of civilization.

No, you're right, Serah, you aren't giving that top to your friend with any spiteful intent, so it's all cool. And it you are looking after her house and your brother while your mom is vacationing, I would suggest that is actually a mighty nice mother's day present. I hope they make some kick-ass cards in daycare!

I'm sure your mom will be thrilled with a phone call, Mel. That's really what the day is all about isn't it? Taking the time to acknowledge your mom is what really counts, innit?

HAHAHAHA! That IS one heck of a typo, innit Fearless? I don't know where my head is at, but that went completely unchecked. Kudos to you for your boffo editorial skills.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

The tigers have absolutely nothing to do with anything, Beckeye. I haven't really analyzed my motives on this post what with the unrelated picture and the weird Grandpa Simpson rambling, but some days that's what it's like inside my brain.

They are cool tigers, aren't they?

Will said...

I guess a gift is a gift - spite or not. Funny that she told you, though. Flowers may seem like the way to go.

Deb said...

O.K. - #1 - I thought I'd left a comment already. I know I did, I remember what it said. Maybe I dreamt it?

#2 - I think I can top the spite cloth. Linds just received her 16th present from her "Nan". Now we've come to expect the hotel courtesy bottles of shampoo, bars of soap, etc. That's a given. But this year she took the cake...Linds showed me that she wrapped an (old) pair of Lindsay's socks that she'd left over there. Washed them, hung them out (so they were crusty/hard) and gave them back to her as a gift. That's not even regifting. Maybe she's going senile.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Flowers it will be, Will. I can do that the day before, as I believe I may once again have missed the postal deadline.

Oh dear, poor Linds. How did she take it, Deb? I hope she found it a little humourous anyway. Unless her nan has always been very thrifty, I would suspect that there is a loosening of a grasp on reality. Oh dear.