Monday, February 26, 2007

I'm sure he will be making a future edition

I see some interesting sights on my commute.

Last week I was making the tricky merge from eastbound Memorial Drive onto southbound Deerfoot Trail (speed limit = 100 km/hr), in which you have a rather short stretch to get off the ramp and onto the freeway, whilst others are attempting to merge off Deerfoot and onto the same exit ramp. There's a lot of jostling for position at high speeds. And of course there are always those who obliviously toodle along in the exchange lane because they like it in that lane and they have no clue that others are attempting lane shifts at breakneck speeds.

I had my turn signal on and was waiting for an opportunity to make the move to the left, but there was this ramshackle truck right beside me in the lane that I wanted to enter - no turn signal - so I assumed he was continuing on straight.

I got up to merge speed, waiting for that all too brief opportunity to shift over, when suddenly the passenger door on the truck opened wide and a man leaned out of the truck (at 100 km/hr) and pointed at the front of my vehicle, all the while with a big grin on his face which nicely showcased the most amazing set of picket-fence chompers I have ever had the pleasure to lay eyes upon.

I thought he was telling me that I had a flat tire, but I quickly remembered that I have a sensor in my vehicle that causes an alarm to sound if the tire pressure becomes too low. I know this to be a fact because it goes off every god damned winter when the temperature drops suddenly. It always scares the bejeezus out of me.

And then I realized that he was telling me that he wanted to get into my lane. I started laughing my head off, as I backed off the accelorator so he could switch lanes and I didn't stop laughing till I got home.

It's not every day that you have an encounter with a human turn signal, but I'm pretty certain I'll be reading about him in the Darwin Awards one day.

---
On the opposite end of the intellectual spectrum, Canada Reads began today. Since Lullabies for LIttle Criminals is the only one of the five books which are contesting to be "the book that all of Canada should read" which I have actually read, it's pretty easy to decide which one I am cheering for. Besides I love the book and it is being advocated by the lovely and talented (and sensitive, it would seem, according to the tale about the plane ride and the mountain biking magazine reader) John K Samson of the Weakerthans (who formed 10 years ago this spring btw).
And it you can make any sense of the convoluted paragraph you just read, you are a better reader than I am a writer. Well done, you.
Canada Reads is only five days long - Monday to Friday on CBC Radio One at 11:30 am. Do try to catch it. It will be well worth the effort just for the back-stabbing and strategizing and arm-twisting.

18 comments:

John Mutford said...

Lullabies and Kahunsha didn't fare all that well today. Though they're doing something strange with the voting, so hopefully they still have a chance. Both great books.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

They both took some shots today, John, but I don't think that's necessarily a big negative. I know that flying under the radar has worked in the past, but I think people are wise to that strategy now. I'm still hopeful!

kelly said...

Barb....I know you know ALLLLL the music out there and you probably heard of The Beautiful Girls, from Aussiland.....they are new to me. I was in the cD store and they were playing them there, The only copy they had was the one being played, which I bought

Johnny Yen said...

Sounds like you and my friend Ron had similar Mondays.

http://deadspotontheweb.blogspot.com/2007/02/dear-future-traffic-fatality.html

On the way home yesterday, I saw a friend/teaching colleague pulled over-- she'd been rear-ended. The woman who did it took off. My friend had the license plate #, and it turned out that the driver was on a suspended license and had no insurance. Yet, the police refused to issue a warrant for any of those things, nor a hit and run.

Leazwell said...

What a clever concept! Thanks for the tip on the book. I'll keep an eye out for it.

Leazwell said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deb said...

"It's not every day that you have an encounter with a human turn signal, but I'm pretty certain I'll be reading about him in the Darwin Awards one day"...classic Barb stuff that has me start my day with a smile on my face.

Reading *sigh*...one day I'll do that again.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I have never in fact heard of them, Kelly. Sure would be nice if somebody put up a couple of samples on their blog though, so that I could hear them. le hint

Ron probably has the same opinion as me then, Johnny Yen, that there is never an end to amazing stories about people in cars. I'll have to read his blog.
What's the story with the cops not going after that driver?

There are a few editions of the Darwin Awards now, Leazwell, each one more astounding than the last.

Aww, Deb, I wish I could help you start each day with a smile, but the truth is I'm not all that funny.
Hope things start looking up for you.

kelly said...

ok ok, i'll figure it out

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Kelly, mydatabus.com is a really good free site for sharing music. And if that one is a bit complex, Bolt.com is easy and free too.

Evelyne said...

"it's not every day that you have an encounter with a human turn signal", like Deb, that sentence made me laugh.

I've met a human turn signal once, it was on the highway and when the guy wanted to go on the right lane, the passenger sticked is arm out of the window, and the driver did the same for the left lane, it was hilarious (and their hands were moving, to imitate a flasher!)

Allison said...

ahahaha, human turn signal!! it may also be the library lights, but that just put me over the edge into a fit of laughter. thanks. and for some reason i'm picturing him wearing an odd hat, why, i don't know. but it makes the story better ;p

JustRun said...

Wow, I can say even in my travels to the most Southern, Northern, Eastern and Western outlying areas of the U.S. I've never seen the "human turn signal."

Barbara Bruederlin said...

hahaha Evelyne - it sounds like they actually had a pretty good system going there! That would be great to see, with the hand movements and all. Not so good in a snowstorm.

You've been in the library too long, Al, but for you, we'll put a goofy hat on his head. In actuality he was hatless, but he did have sticki-uppy red hair - sort of like Fry from Futurama.

Justrun, some sights are worth making the trip to Canada for!

John Mutford said...

Enjoyed your comments on the Canada Reads site, btw.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thanks John - I enjoyed yours as well, and I'm asking folks to read your blog, because hot damn you do such a great job of finding the hot buttons!

Dale said...

Five days long? It takes me that long to read my favourite bloggers! Isn't the CBC supposed to be bringing us together? Argh.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

It's a brutal break-neck pace, Dale. Extreme reading at it's most raw.