Tuesday, February 06, 2007

And you thought you were a good procrastinator

March 31, 2006 - passports photos taken and application forms begun
February 2, 2007 - completed passport applications sent to Passport Canada
In my defence, I will point out that my application was actually ready to go in June of 06, but somebody in the family kept filling his out wrong and then having to get his guarantor to resign. And for some reason we couldn't get the online thingy to work so we had to do it by hand, which is really scary,especially because you have to use all BLOCK LETTERS.
Last summer, the lineups at the Passport offices weren't too bad, but now they are hours long, so we couriered ours to the government instead. Now the government has my driver's license for the next several months. I'd better drive nicely. Oh maybe I shouldn't have laid on the horn for a minute and a half when that guy cut me off today.
Hey, do you remember when I slammed the dishwasher door closed on my thumb two months ago? Well, that's another thing that is taking its own sweet time.
It's been hurting like a son of a biotch the whole time, although initially my whole hand hurts and now it's just a spot near the tip of my thumb. The pain finally subsided enough for me to be able to peak under the nail a bit this morning and guess what I found? Dishwasher schrapnel! A whole bunch of it!
I thought that black spot peaking out from under my nail was a bit of necrotic skin, but I managed to flick some of it off and it turned out to be black on one side and silver on the other. Just like the piece that's missing from the corner of the dishwasher. I'm pretty sure there's still a chunk imbedded in my thumb there, but that'll give me something to poke around at with a scalpel and I'm sure looking forward to that.
This reminds me of the time a few years ago that I stepped on some broken glass. I picked the glass out of my foot, but it always kinda bothered me and it grew a hard callus, which was quite sore. Then one day, a huge chunk of glass came busting out of my foot. It was the coolest thing, and firmly cemented my admiration for human physiology and the movie Alien.
And finally, I know I have always said that the Junos are lame, and they are. But I am still pretty excited that Chad VanGaalen has been nominated for alternative album of the year for Skelliconnection. Way to go, immensely talented Calgary guy!


mellowlee said...

dishwasher shrapnel OUCH! :(

Allison said...

Dishwasher schrapnel??? Good gawd, that just sounds intense. Did you get all of it out? You may have already said so, but my mind got fuzzy after 'schrapnel' but enough to remember the glass shooting out of your foot, and going sweet ;)

And kudos to Chad on the nom, even if its a lame event.

John Mutford said...

Passports, Arghhh! We've had so much trouble with those bloody things lately. We're planning on taking the kids to San Diego in early April, so thinking we'd get slightly ahead of the rush we got their applications sent out in December. One was returned this Friday past because our daughter was faintly showing teeth in her photo. Then our original guarantor left town, so we had to find someone else here who's known us for at least 2 years (luckily we found someone- in one of the right professions- that knew us from when we lived in Rankin Inlet). Now we're scrambling to get them redone and back in time to be returned to us and we're told it could take up to 45 days!!! And we have our flights booked already. Then try calling to see what can be done, and all we get, when we even get through, is a message saying that even their waiting list for callers is full, and to try again. It sucks not living near a passport office.

Toccata said...

The Junos. Remember when it seemed the only person the Junos seemed to know was Anne Murray. I think most musical award shows are just plain crap. I was going to say all but decided that might be considered liable!

Dishwasher schrapnel and a foot embedded with glass. Ew.

Deb said...

ok...I haven't even read the post yet because you've blown my little mind.

Lindsay rented a movie and watched it and just came down to tell me her favorite parts/quotes, then I click on your blog and there it is, as your quote of the day.
I haven't seen it yet, if I wasn't so tired we'd watch it tonight. But she just quoted the same line, an hour or so ago. Great minds......

Off to read your post now!

JR's Thumbprints said...

I don't like any of these pat-on-the-back award shows.

Deb said...

oh my the glass busting through the foot image is permanently imbedded in my brain. Owwwwww CH!!
But cool.

John Mutford said...

And I agree with Deb, great movie!

~Jen~ said...

nice shrapnel picking!

ugh @ passports...planning to go on a trip?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Painful, yes, Mel, but don't you think that's a phrase that should be added to the Oxford English Dictionary?

The glass shooting out my foot was one of the coolest sights I have witnessed, Allison. I think I still have a chunk in my thumb, so I'm hoping for an equally dramatic outcome there.
Yay, Chad! He was so funny when asked about it too. I should post on that. Dude is hilarious.

John, that competely sucks! You are pretty much hogtied, aren't you? I'm not sure if it helps any to live near a passport office, unless you want to stand in a line all day, but I guess it is nice to have that option. I sure hope you get your passports in time.
And I'm with you - Everything is Illuminated was one of my favourite films last year.

Toccata - oh yeah, Anne Murray, the Juno queen! The Juno people are hoping that taking emphasis away from sales will give a better representation of what is actually happening in the Canadian music industry, but they've got a long way to go.

You HAVE to watch Everything is Illuminated, Deb! There's a really good reason that Lynds is quoting all those lines at you - because they are so quotable, and Eugene Hutz's character is so endearing with his thesaurus English.
The glass spewing scene was something right out of Alien, and a memory I will forever cherish. Glad to share.

Hi jr's thumbprints, and welcome! I am with you on those award shows, especially when they focus on lame musicians who sell a lot of records to people who have no taste in music. The Polaris prize this year was a step in the right direction, though.

No fears, Jen, the shrapnel picking is just getting started!
We've got no set plans to travel anyway, but it would be nice to have the option.

mellowlee said...

for sure! I have always liked the word shrapnel too. Very powerful!

Johnny Yen said...

Last year I finally got it together and renewed my passport, which I'd originally gotten around the time my son was born (1994). It was good in that I got to use another picture-- one in which I wasn't 50 pounds overweight, exhausted from caring for a newborn and with hair past my shoulders.

JustRun said...

That reminds me of when I was a kid and had part of a stick in my anlke for the better part of a summer without knowing it. Just popped right out one day. Gross, I know. Sorry.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I've always like that word too, Mel. I'll have to check out its etymology. Do you think it was originally a military word, because there are some really great words of military origin.

Congratulations for looking better than your passport photo, Johnny Yen. Are you keeping the old one as a reminder to stay in shape, get haircuts and stop having babies?

No need to apologize, Justrun - that is just plain cool! A stick in your ankle - that's awesome.

Evelyne said...

It seems that I'm not the only one who decided to take a lot of time before sending the passport applications... but yesterday I went to the office, and it's long!

I hope your thumb is feeling better, nasty dishwashers!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You tried the lineup at the passport office, Evelyne? I don't think I could handle that. I'll wait the 37 years to get them back from mailing them in.

Deb said...

(heehee...i said "im"bedded, which is probably where i should stay these days. you know what i mean i'm sure em, em, EM)

She's Crafty said...

I am still awaiting in fear for my passport to arrive, hopefully everything is filled out well.

Just got home from the OF MONTREAL show, had a surprise guest who scooped an available ticket. Play all sappy love songs now, along with all those broken hearted tracks, I am going to need to prepare for this. Help! (photos available at my blog).

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Never apologize, never explain, Deb. Leave em guessing.

I'll bet Of Montreal puts on a fabulous show, Serah. They are so theatrical.
And how nice that you have a new sweetie with whom to go to shows! I'll check out the pics.

justacoolcat said...

That reminds me, I'm going on vacation. I really should send in my passport app.

As for the chunk of dishwasher in your hand, ouch and yuck.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Well I sure hope the US passports dudes are quicker than the Canadian ones, JustA, or you will be vacationing in Fargo.

Dale said...

Your schrapnel made me feel all queasy. I used to have an iron stomach and now you've taken the iron and put it under your nail. Oh Barbara.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Sorry Dale! I most certainly did not mean to make you feel ooky. Perhaps a few handfuls of pickles will settle your tum.