Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Pick your favourite spot to puke, I guess

Sputnik only likes to puke on the carpet. Today she deposited a pile only two feet away from the tile floor. Damn!
A couple of weeks ago I caught her horking in the living room and I dragged her out onto the tile floor in the kitchen, but she resisted and dragged herself back to the living room carpet, heaving all the while. I won that time, but it made me wonder, why carpet?
I put the question to Eva and she figured it's because cats are mentally deranged. That's a given, but there must be more.
Is it because carpet is more absorbent and the chunks don't bounce as much as they would on a harder surface? Maybe because the liquid faction makes a louder splash on the tile - maybe that bugs cats.
Or ... maybe it's a friction thing! Cats exert quite a bit of back pressure when heaving, I'll bet they slide on tile, but not on carpet.
Your thoughts?


Anonymous said...

Two nights ago Sammy Jo was eating his dinner and he was just scarfing it down. I don't think he even bothered chewing. The slurping sounds he made was unbelievable. About 30 seconds after he had inhaled it he puked it right up. Yuk! That time it was on the tile floor but only because he couldn't run to the carpet in time.

Will said...

Yeah ... our cat likes to do the same. She doesn't mind the bed either. The hard wood floor not so much.

Grumpy Old Bastard said...

I have studied this issue in some depth and have come to one inescapable conclusion: Cats will puke on what ever pisses off thier humans the most.

This theory further supports Eva's "Cats are Deranged" assessment. Very astute observation. She is wise well beyond her years.


Anonymous said...

Amen sister. Yes, the cats at Chez Karen also insist on puking on the carpet. I personally believe that it is because they can get their claws into the carpet fibres and pull pieces of it up. It makes them feel as though they're burying it.

Blogger's being a bitch...and won't let me log in.


Leazwell said...

I agree with grumpy but there is more - in which area will hurling get them the most attention. It's all about them all the time!

Anonymous said...

I believe it's actually covered by the same law of nature that states that if you drop toast with jam it will:

1. Always drop on the carpet, never on a tiled floor.
2. Always land jam-side down.

The opposite is for things that are breakable-- they will never be dropped on a soft carpeted floor; only on hard tile.

WolfHeart RavenHorse said...

Who would have thought I would be thinking about why cats puke on carpet at 7:20 in the morning....yuck! hehe Yep, definately feel like breakfast now! hehe

How life is treating you great!!! When are we getting together already!!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

i think its bc when they puke they like there little paw pads WARM on carpet or a blanket....i mean really..when u puke do you LOVE the coldness of your hands on the porcelin (sp) toilet? no.
thats my theory haha

Anonymous said...

I'll give my cat credit, he's been pretty good at seeking out the tiles lately, a pretty hard task here, but he manages. People might find it strange to see me smiling as a wipe up puke with paper towels.

Now, if you know a way to get a crushed green crayon out of carpet, I'm all ears. Children are a lot messier than cats, you know.

justacoolcat said...

My cat and my dogs all prefer the carpet for puking.

I guess before I judge I should give it a shot myself.

kelly said...

i had one of those dumbass creatures once...he seemed to like to puke dead centre underneath the bed....what a jhoy that was to clean and yes it was on carpet too.although once a previous dog (Jake is a good boy) puked on the kitchen floor, i didn't hear it, went in there in bare feet and because i was only taking a dish out i didn't turn on the light. The feeling of my foot hitting that warm goo caused an instant reaction of me kicking my foor forward....thus i cleaned the cupboards, the counter, the fridge and the wall...fortunately i missed the ceiling

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Toccata, I have noticed when it's a quick-in, quick-out type of operation, that Sputty will just let it fly wherever as well. But given any time to do a bit of heaving and it's straight for the carpet. Sammy Jo seems to follow the same philosophy.

No, Will, the bed? Sputty hasn't discovered the joys of that one yet, but it we ever tear out all our carpet, as we would like to some day, I'll bet the bed will look pretty inviting too.

You may have a point there, GOB, and the only reason they don't puke on the keyboard is because they haven't thought of it yet.
I don't know about astute, but Eva is certainly sassy beyond her years.

I can vouch for your theory, Karen. Our puke-stained carpet also has lots of little bits torn out of it where Sputty has tried to cover it, and the odd time she pukes on a throw rug, she flips the corner over the offending pile.
You are a true observer of cat behaviour.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

True enough, Leazwell, cats like to think that mommy thinks they are special!

Oh, of course, Johnny Yen! Cats are just following laws of physics. Because they are very law-abiding like that.

Nothing like discussing cat barf to set you up for the most important meal of the day, Bev!
I've got to send you guys an email tomorrow! Promise.

It's been far too long since I barfed, I guess, Jen, but you could be onto something. Mind you sometimes that nice cool porcelain against your head was sort of a godsend.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Too true, John, after the first glass of cranberry juice joined the silly putty, I knew there was a reason I hated carpeting.
I'd be smiling if all I needed was a paper towel to get rid of the evidence forever as well.

You will probably find it very enjoyable, Just A. Not sure what Wifey will say though...

hahaha Kelly, and I can just picture the dog over in the corner, trying to look concerned but snickering away inside. Good thing you didn't wipe out in it!

Grumpy Old Bastard said...

After much research over the last 3-or-so minutes I have developed a ground-breaking theory of Feline Regurgitation. Consider the following facts:

1) Cat’s eyes bear a striking resemblance to the eyes of “aliens” in bad sci-fi movies.
2) Aliens specialize in wormholes and quarks and portals to alternate dimensions.
3) Cats will stare for hours at things we cannot see.

It stands to reason that cats are trying to puke on an alien civilization, and further that they (the cats) enjoy this pastime very much. It would likely be a key sport in the Kitty Olympics if cats had (a) Olympics and (b) lucrative shoe contracts. Cats use the carpet because this is where they see the portals leading to Alienville. This is what cats are looking for when they are observed staring off into space.

Linoleum, as we all know from listening to Art Bell, is a natural alien repellant and would be less desirable as a medium for transporting hairballs across the dark emptiness that is the inky, bitter cold void of deep space. Carpet (particularly expensive deep-pile shag, goose-down comforters, or yak-wool-based hand woven Asian throws) make for outstanding vomit conduits due to its absorbent nature and warm and cushy feeling under their horrid little paws.

…either that or cats just get off on creating toxic biohazard conditions and then watching us have to clean up after them. Might be opposable thumb envy.

Grumpy Old Conspiracy Theorist

mellowlee said...

Loki always pukes on either carpet or fabric. usually something belonging to Sean. It must be the absorbant thing. So nasty!

Will said...

Oh yes, the bed ... sometimes when somebody is sleeping in it ... but that's the only really bad thing she does ... and she is a cat and so of course is always forgiving. Sometimes I forget that she's the one in charge.

phlegmfatale said...

I agree with your theories, but I'll posit one more: I think cats puke on carpet because the texture of hairballs most closely resembles that of carpet. Maybe they think carpet was a wonderful invention of felines and that they must add to the mix, like a nice batch of sour dough you must occasionally throw some flour on.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

Cats are omnipotent and all-seeing, GOB. You speak the truth. They are looking deep into the future and waiting for their shoe contract to have the cheese clause added in.

Mel, do Sean's clothes usually get the Loki treatment because he keeps his clothes the same place Eva keeps hers? All over the floor? Loki is just trying to teach Sean good housekeeping habits! Such a good cat.

Oh god, Will, that would jolt you out of a sound sleep in a hurry, the sound of your cat cat about to hurl on your bed. She's just lucky that she's so pretty.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Never thought of that one, PF! The sour dough theory; cats are only doing their duty. Way to think out of the box.

Allison said...

Another reason why life is better with a dog ;P

Your story made me laugh, thanks.

668 aka neighbour of the beast said...

umm, my dog used to puke all the time, so much that one of his many nicknames is pukey.

the last time he did was last month when i was working two jobs. he was kind enough to puke twice in the hallway and then puke right at the front doors as i was trying to get him outside.

ps.. mind if i link to your latest contribution to notpaidbythehour? i'm ranting so it may not be so nice. :)

Jas Bhambra said...

Must be to prevent slipping!

I like Eva's theory, well as GOB's! :)

When our dog was still a little puppy, he just pee-ed on the carpet. Even if he had had his walk outside, he would save a few drops for the carpet...

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'm not so sure about that, Allison! I've been hearing a few dog puking stories too! And some of them on carpet. (although Will's cat is the only creature thus far to barf on the bed - when someone is sleeping in it!)
Glad we could make you laugh though; that's what we are here for.

A Dog Named Pukey! That's positively heartwarming, 668. He comes by it honestly though!
Feel free to link away. I would be honoured, and don't feel badly about letting loose, as I wasn't too complimentary in my post either.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Jas, we had a dog who would get really excited when someone came to the house and would always pee a little too. And she wasn't a puppy either, just a bit incontinent.

668 aka neighbour of the beast said...

i remember once when my dog was a puppy, he peed on the back porch when i came home because he was so excited. the look on his face was priceless. he looked totally embarrased, it was like.. omg, i'm so sorry, don't look at me.

Deb said...

I think the sliding factors in....on the carpet they can really stabilize themselves for a good heave.

And I also agree with GOB - the pissing off people is key - "if I'm gonna' puke, you're gonna' suffer too" is the rationale behind the carpet selection.

Yes, also the "patchwork" carpet that cats contribute to sounds reasonable...can you tell, I don't have a frickin' clue?

Deb said...

(p.s. - I love your Thom Yorke quote of the day!)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I can just imagine the look on his face, 668, because I know my cat's face is really expressive as well. It's odd how we are able to read their expressions, perhaps just because we live so closely with them.
I wonder if they can read our expressions?

Fortunately we are not forcing you to chose just one right answer, Deb. And as a Libra, I can appreciate the problems that come with seeing the value of all arguements.
Gotta love that Thom Yorke!!!

Anonymous said...

My cat pees in my laundry hamper everytime I come home from being on a holiday. The time I was away for the entire summer he peed in it three times. The last time right in front of me with a deadly glare. He then jumped down, gave me a scathing look and literally flounced off.

It should be noted that I have live in sitters for him so it's not as though he's having to fend for himself!

This was a great post by the way. Very funny comments!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Toccata, I admit I'm a little surprised by how much people like talking about pet deposits, but it sure makes for fun reading.

Cats are are vengeful. Ours did something quite similar when we came back from being away, looked us right in the eye as she peed on the carpet - and it's the only time she has ever done so.

Deb said...

(now, in keeping with the dogs vs cats debate....our dog ate half the kitchen while we were away once. She chewed walls and railings and anything that required major work to repair!)

Anonymous said...

Holy smokes Deb! Do you have a dog or a dinosaur? How do you eat a wall anyway?