Monday, January 29, 2007

I was driving home today when I noticed the van in front of me had this bumper sticker taped across the back window. As I eased in behind the van at the red light, I looked at the sticker and read:

Have you fingered your Grandma or Grandpa today?
.
I was disgusted! What kind of sick fuck would put that on a bumper sticker?
But the font was really weird and the sticker was this odd colour, so I took another look, squinting my eyes slightly differently, and then I realized it actually said:
.
Have you hugged your Grandma or Grandpa today?
.
I'm starting to think I should give up driving.
But it could be worse. I could be in a cab with Jarvis Cocker:


20 comments:

Allison said...

Would you believe I was listening to that song when I clicked over? True. That is a great video! Having heard his music before seeing Jarvis in video, I think his voice and looks don't match up. I guess I was expecting something else. I like his glasses.

I was also eating bean salad and when reading the first bumper sticker, kinda left a bad taste, until your corrected vision version.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You must have felt liked you had flipped over into an alternate universe, Allison. Isn't that a hilarious video? I find Jarv's looks and voice match up NOW, because I'm used to them, but his beauty does have to grow on you. I do agree that his glasses are boffo.

I sometimes think I have terminal dyslexia.

Anonymous said...

I'd be more surprised if that first bumper sticker didn't actually exist. In a South Parkian sort of childhood, we used to recite a rather nasty little rhyme that started "Yee-haw! Stick it in your grandma!" (I won't finish it). In our defence, we probably didn't even realize to what "it" was referring. Yet we knew it was wrong, so we said it.

justacoolcat said...

You could give up driving or you could continue replacing "hugged" with "fingered" in every sentence.

They'll both have comical results.

mellowlee said...

haha! That was awesome. I certainly wouldn't want him to be my cab driver, but he could sing that song to me nearly any other time....well not quite, but you know what I mean. I love that tune!!!

phlegmfatale said...

OMG - you are one sick puppy, Barbara - no wonder I'm so strangely drawn to your blog! Fingered a grandparent? *L* I'm always doing that, and I just chalk it up to minions of Lucifer momentarily addling my vision or rearranging letters just to vex me.

phlegmfatale said...

What a nut - I love that Jarvis Cocker video - hilarious!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

"we knew it was wrong, so we said it"! - you did have a South Parkian childhood, John. And if South Parkian isn't a adjective, it should be.

Giving up the driving would be slightly less comical, JustA (for me anyway), as it would take me about 3 hours to get to work. I like the other suggestion though; I've often thought I should embrace my encroaching dyslexia more.

Perhaps not while Jarvis is your BUS driver either, Mel. Singing it while delivering pizza to you would be just great though.

I was wondering whose minions those were who are always tormenting me with the letter switching, Phlegmfatale. They get me into so much trouble sometimes.
Isn't Jarv the grandest?

Anonymous said...

I liked the scenes in the video but I would rather hear the song without it. I found the images with the music rather jarring. I think videos are mostly lost on me.

tydes said...

Barbara! Take your mind out of the gutter!!

;)

Deb said...

when the kids were young Ty had a sticker and I couldn't figure out what "defendorf the jungle" was. i was really tired and when Ty came downstairs I said, "what's deefendorf the jungle mean?" and he laughed and said Mom, read it again..."defender of the jungle". It was a Tarzan thing.

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha ha fingered ha ha ha ha thats classic....

Anonymous said...

That was soooo wrong-- yet I can't look away....

Barbara Bruederlin said...

And particularly in this video, Toccata, because of all the extra sounds, people yelling, things crashing. I know the song very well after many listens, and I found I was distracted as well. But it sure was funny!

Sometimes I think I should be locked up, Jeff!

hahaha, Deb! Glad I'm not the only one - I do this sort of thing far too often. Deefendorf!

That's me, Jen! If I can't be classy, I aim for classic.

Imagine how I felt, Johnny Yen, with that abomination staring me in the face! It was a train wreck alright!

Will said...

Wow, the context is totally changed. Hope the nasty "mistaken" bumper sticker doesn't actually exist somewhere.

justrun said...

Oh don't give up driving, just give up reading. :)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh I'm sure it exists somewhere, Will, just not on the mom and pop van that I thought I spotted it on.

That's a valid option, Justrun!

Anonymous said...

I just wheezed so badly laughing at the originally-viewed bumper sticker. HA, I would totally get that as a bumper sticker, but I'd likely need an actual bumper first. I suppose I could just find that bumper sticker and put it on some random car on the street...LOL, my Mom would totally appreciate that on her car. :P

Barbara said...

You don't have to give up driving just get some glasses maybe...
fingered could mean 'ratting them out to the cops'...
and that's pretty bad too...

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Sorry, didn't mean to bring on an asthma attack with my dyslexia, Alana. You SHOULD get your mom one, though. Maybe one for all your neighbours too hahaha!

I wish it was that simple, Barbara W. Unfortunately, it's cataracts, so glasses won't help.
If grandma and grandpa are criminals, they deserve to be ratted out.