Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Cookie Spam (the good kind)
The annual shortbread bake happened this weekend, and as usual, the cookie decorating degenerated into an exercise in subversion.
Here are some samples. Warning: twisted minds were let loose with sprinkles and icing tubes.
Momus - Eva decorated an homage to her favourite one-eyed, apron-wearing Scottish folksinger. She maintains that those are not nipples; those are buttons.
beheaded snowman -who knew the old man would have so much blood in him?
Santa pooping his pants. This is when the decorating really starting sinking to a South Park level.
Don't forget - the battle of the century
12:30 am on CTV - but check your local listings
Who will win the Decemberists vs Stephen Colbert Guitar Solo Challenge?
- will it be Stephen Colbert?

- or will it be Chris Funk of the Decemberists?
It's gonna be a dog fight!


Evelyne said...

Baking cookies is so much fun! I like the first one.
I don't think that my mom would let us do that, what would Grandma think if she sees that kind of cookies, ours are a lot more traditional than the one you did.

Anonymous said...

I wanna party with your family, lady!

Back when I was a senior in high school (1979), my brothers and I, who were all teenagers at that point, decided, after years of Easter Egg inactivity, to resume coloring easter eggs. We bought one of those kits, and when my mother walked in to the kitchen to find us using the special little crayon to give special Easter messages like "Eat Sh*t" and "Die Young," she laughed her ass off.

She tells this story to everybody to this day-- almost as much as the one in which she brought me in to deal with my first traffic ticket (I was 16, she was 34) and the judge yelled at me for bringing my sister, rather than my mother. She was pretty happy about that.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I must be a bad mom, Evelyne, as I don't really care what grandma thinks. In fact, I have to confess that I am responsible for the pooping Santa cookie. Still tastes good though.

Your family sounds awfully fun, Johnny Yen! And your mom is pretty darned cool.
And I think you would fit right into our cookie decorating regimen, as you are just as irreverent as we are.

hilary m. said...

Yay, cookies!

And, yay, Decemberists!
I'm going to watch this tonight, on Comedy Central.
Or maybe tape it.
Depends on my tiredness and I'm usually pretty tired.

Anonymous said...

mmmmmmmm, mmm, those will undeniably be the yummiest!

Anonymous said...

My sister teaches junior high and they were having a Christmas fun day at the school. They were baking and decorating gingerbread cookies and of course kids being kids she said pandemonium took over when one kid started modelling the "naughty" parts which of course led to an entire class of grade 8 students making obscene cookies!

justacoolcat said...

I think Colbert will win, but we'll see.

Nice cookies.


mellowlee said...

Hahahahahhaaaaaa! I was eating egg nog icecream while reading your post, and it almost ended up all over the place when I saw the pooping Santa! AWESOME!!! I love Toccata's story about the gingerbread men with naughty parts too, that's hella funny!!!

I think I may have a nap and get up later to watch the show, cause I don't have any videos and Im soooo sleepy. Thanks for the reminder!!!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'm taping, Hilary, as there is no possible way I can stay awake. But tomorrow night, I have a date with the VCR.

Millions would be turned off by the thought of eating those particular cookies, Leazwell. Good to see that you have a strong constitution.

I can just picture that, Toccata! Those kids would be having way too much fun with anatomically correct gingerbread. I actually did make a very buxom shortbread woman, but didn't have room to post her picture. Perhaps I should.

Well Colbert claims he is giving the Decemberists home field advantage by holding the contest in December, JACC, but it is on his turf. Personally I think we all win.

Is eggnog icecream any good, Mel? Well, I guess if it weren't you wouldn't be eating it would you, she answered her own question.
I hope you can stay awake that long, Mel. Most important tv night of the year, after all!
(I love Toccata's story too!)

mellowlee said...

The egg nog icecream is delicious!!! It's Lucerne brand from Safeway. It makes wicked good milkshakes too. I would like to try them with a dash (or two or three or four) of rum though!

I am searching my videos to see if I have any with blanks spaces on them!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh just tape over that wedding tape, Mel - nobody will notice! I've got two ancient VHS tapes (I don't even know if they make them anymore) that I have used over and over, about 5 million times each. One of these days they are just going to shred. I hope it's not tonight!

mmmmmm rum eggnog milkshake sounds pretty deadly!

Will said...

Barbara, Those cookies are great and I don't care how many times Eva tells you, THOSE ARE NIPPLES !

Barbara Bruederlin said...

hahaha Ben - thanks for making me snort at 6:00am! I shall be sure to let Eva know that she's not fooling you with the button talk.

Jetson Stamina said...

This is a lot like jetson stamina sex cakes...

Which I'm still willing to bake for you.

Your cookies, my cakes. I smell a business

Anonymous said...

Yummy! It's an edible me!

Allison said...

LOL!! I snorted into my grapefruit at the pictures of those cookies. Hilarious. And I have to agree with Ben, those are not buttons.

I was too tired to stay up and watch Colbert last night, someone needs to post the clip whenever it arises, I can't wait to see this dog fight.

(I'm still smiling at those cookies)

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but I don't buy it. I agree with Ben-- those are nipples on that first one, and what's more, it's wearing some kind of sick S and M harness.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You are a sick man, Jetson, which is why I love you. Jetson Stamina sex cakes are the bomb! (You guys should check them out!)
Your business proposition sounds intriguing; I've been looking for an excuse to ditch my day job.

Momus - hi, welcome! It's not often that we get a bonafide rock star visiting here. What an honour!
Eva will be well and truly chuffed that you were amused by her attempt to render you in shortbread. ...Okay that just sounds dirty - I didn't mean to suggest any nefarious intent here.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Allison - welcome home! We missed you.
I have to say I'm glad you snorted INTO your grapefruit, rather than snorted your grapefruit, because that would be beyond painful.
I will keep my eyes peeled (also a painful exercise) for a video clip of the guitar duel.

Johnny Yen - another non-believer. Eva swears those are buttons, and I don't even want to comment on the alleged S&M garb. I'm fairly certain that she did mean it to be an apron, which Momus has been known to don, however, as to whether or not Momus also has any harnesses in his closet - well, I'll have to defer to the man himself on that.