Saturday, September 30, 2006

Almost Gold / Mostly Shit
Guess where I am sitting right now. Out in my backyard on the most glorious fall day in the history of glorious fall days.
I love fall. I love the smell of decomposing leaves, I love the crispness of the good apples, I love the urge to cook heartier foods. I really love the clouds of autumn. The key to the season lies in the clouds, in the way they hold the memory of summer and the promise of winter within them simultaneously.
I find that I really miss living in Ontario come fall, because although it's nice in Alberta in the fall, you don't have the glorious colours - strictly yellows and oranges - no reds, hardly any purples, and of course the season is only about two weeks long here.
But although I am spectacularly satisfied with my life right now, I don't want to get all Pollyana on you. After all, Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I don't want to be all thankfulled out by the time the turkey starts roasting. Apologies to my American friends for rubbing that in yet again. Hey, what about the UK? Do you guys even do Thanksgiving there?
But in the interests of keeping it real and to honour of the final day of September, here is a list of things that pissed me off this month:
1. word verification
I understand the concept and I accept the need for it, but it really brings out the dyslexic in me. And it always take me 2 or 3 tries to guess the stupid letters. Have you noticed that if you get the string of letters wrong the first time, the next one that pops up has a font that is slightly more readable by the human eye. My question is, why the fuck don't they just make it readable the first time around and save me from wanting to punch someone in the throat?
2. Office Depot
No explanation needed here, if you have been reading this blog at all in the past month. Keep watching for weekly updates on my dealings with those fuckers.
3. People who cut out into the lane that disappears and race up to the front of the line of cars which are inching along and then expect to be let back in.
It's not going to happen on my watch, asshole! I saw you leave the lineup and try to cut back in. Did you think I was going to give you a medal for being inventive? You can bloody well wait like the rest of us; our time is important as well.
And who the fuck thought it was a good idea to design those roads like that in the first place? Some sicko who gets off on hearing about road rage.
4. Dome shows
Overcrowded, terrible sound, huge fucking lineups, smoky, stinky, sticky with spilled beer - never again (unless we get the company seats and it's someone I really really want to see).
5. Matt Good's soon to be ex-wife
Took the money and fucked off, the gold digger.
I'm sure there's more, but unfortunately I am in too good a mood to get a good rage happening. I have my rageoholism under control today.
Whoa hoho!!! Hold the presses! Trust good old blogger to slip me a #6 at the last minute!
6. Blogger not letting me post pictures.
There, now my life/list is complete.

What's pissing you off lately?


John Mutford said...

Ever had a funny word pop up is Word Verification?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I rarely ever have words pop up at all, John. In fact, if they were actual words, I wouldn't have the dyslexia problem, as I am quite a good speller.
But sadly, no funny words whatsoever. Have you?

mellowlee said...

Things that are pissing me off lately:

No shifts at work for the last week, and not know when I will work again!

Having to go all the way out to New Westminster to return a pair of jeans I bought for Devon because the legs weren't "wide enough" *mutter grumble* His only specifications were they had to be black and have a straight let....he never said anything about the leg width :(

Having to clean out a litter box a few times a day ...ew Litter is gross

Sitting in the salon with wet feet for an hour waiting to for Devon to get his hair cut.

and finally, I'm getting Sean's cold! :(

Anonymous said...

Firstly, what's pissing me off lately is this random cold/ allergy discomfort for the past 2 weeks, which I choose to blame on an individual who coughed in my general direction for 2 hours during which I could not escape.

Secondly, I will email you some new Ontario fall colour pictures when Dave (my husband, of concrete to cottages blog) returns from his latest photo outing.

And I agree about the verification things..I am veri-disabled too.

Allison said...

Great post Barb! I love fall too. Except its getting really cold here already. I'll post some fall pics soon for you, brillant colours this evening.

With you on the word verification that I have already bought the t-shirt. It not only brings out the dyslexia in me, I start to get mad at the people who use it, when on the third try it finally works and I'm less pissed.
I have noticed that certain people's blog have harder ones. Is that something you have to check when you sign up? If so, I'm coming at all those with hot pokers.

Wow...clearly word verification brings out the worst in me. I'm also mad that I'm slowly getting sick. Not fast, so I can get over it. Each day a new part of me hurts. But hey, things could be worse. I could be ones of those annoying all-the-time happy people ;P

Evelyne said...

Reading your post made me feel better about Fall, for the last couple of days, I hated it (it was so cold and rainning), but being remembered all the positive aspects of it, i think i should try to enjoy it a lot more...

But what pissed me off lately? smelly people in the subway/bus... a one hour ride but that guy next to me was painful and i could not go somewhere else, the bus was packed.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Wow, it sounds like everybody is starting to get sick! Eva missed a day of school last week already, but I think the one day in bed did the trick. I, of course, do not get sick, as I am the mother. And all that clean living haha. Hope you all feel better soon.

That really sucks Mel, about your lack of shifts. I hope something more reliable comes along with the health region very soon.
Next time Dev will just have to come shopping with you,
I only do the litter box once a day, but I just have one cat who likes to poop outside in the good weather. (In our yard, don't worry!)
Get feeling better!

What is it with people who can't cover properly if they need to cough or sneeze, Jacquie? How hard is that to understand? I would be pissed off too.
Oh, I would love to see Ontario fall pictures. My soul needs that. I should go look at Dave's blog again; I shamefully admit I haven't been there for a while and I do enjoy his photos so much.
Feel better.

hahaha Allison you kill me - heaven forbid we become one of those all the time happy Stepford wives!
I HAVE noticed some people's verification are harder than others. I've never looked into if there are different difficulty levels you can sign up for, but if anyone does so intentionally, they have a place reserved for them in an inner circle of hell in my opinion.
Looking forward to seeing some Ontario colours, and feel better.'

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I hope you start getting some nice fall weather, Evelyne. It can be such a nice season.
Oh yes, smelly people in close quarters! And people who wear lots of perfume or cologne are just as bad!

Allison said...

Would it not seem funny if England had Thanksgiving? Seeing as they banished the Puritans to the Americas? Clearly I don't know, have to wait for others to weigh in.
Ooo, I'm trying your recipe tomorrow :)

Toccata said...

You miss autumn in Ontario and I miss autumn in Saskatchewan. I absolutely love living in Victoria but autumn is definitely not the same. Saskatchewan had such a crisp feel to the air and a smell that was intoxicating.

But, oh the weather here has been amazing and for one who loves to walk and walk and walk there is no better place to live.

I'm with you on the word verification. Agh! I also hate it when I want to double check something when writing a comment and I end up losing what I wrote!

Always enjoy your posts.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Yeah, I'm almost certain it's just a North American holiday, Allison. Of course we don't get Guy Faulks Day.
I really should make that recipe again too - it's been a while. Please let me know what you think.

Hi Toccata, nice to see you again! And thanks!
The cooler provinces do have that bracing feel and smell in the air that you really need to appreciate fall, don't they? I just wish it lasted longer in Alberta. Spring and fall are both really short here.

mellowlee said...

Ohho, speaking of smelly people in close quarters..this lady on the skytrain today had the WORST breath. It smelled like she had never brushed her teeth in her life! It made me gag and she was standing a few feet away! The air conditioner in the skytrain spread the smell through the car. Luckily she got off after 2 stops before I died.

Deb said...

I posted awhile ago on the word verifuckation....immediately following that post the very next one I attempted had an "F" "U" in it. How appropriate.

Plumbing pisses me off. That I never learned any plumbing in high school and very fucking well should have. I could do without mutilating a frog (which I shall never use) and probably would've gotten more out of taking some water lines apart. Roofing 101 also might've helped.

Mechanics. Four fucking years you've worked on this piece of crap and it runs worse each time I get it back. It's not a rubix car...figure the damn thing out already.

The butting in traffic thing is something that I just encountered/swore about. On the way to a football game...the inching along in rush hour, only to notice several cars getting out of the line up and taking a left hand turn off lane. What we didn't realize is that they were scooting up to the next red light and hanging a right, which merged them right up to the front of the line. So I hear you on the "who do you think you're're not getting in here asshole" sentiments. People actually were letting them in (idiots). I got great satisfaction out of my bumper to bumper stance..."don't even think about it".


Will said...

Personally I'm a spring and summer person but I think that's down to the British climate. Although colourful, the Autumn weather for us is dull, grey and drizzly (as it is today).

I agree totally on the word verification, sometimes it's so unreadable.

No we don't celebrate thanksgiving, but I always look forward to Guy Fawkes night on 5th November. Fireworks, bonfires, hot jacket potatoes, grey peas, bacon and faggots. Great night !

John Mutford said...

I did have one that spelled a name- Lenny I think. While not funny, it's at least a big coincidence. Not "a million monkeys typing" big, but still.

Karen said...

I'm fortunate to work in an office that overlooks the river valley here in Edmonton so I get to see the colours as they change all day long. It's beautiful although I agree, the east does have a wider range of colours. My only complaint about fall out here, as you mentioned, is that it's so short. However, that just means that the snow is coming soon! YAY!

THings that piss me off lately - blogger. Why is it that when you really WANT to post pictures it decides to pull a giant hissy fit and won't let you. Other than that, can't think of anything at the moment, feeling pretty good.

Barbara said...

Sorry about the word verification I had to put it on to stop spam then I took it off for a bit but the spam came back the very next day yeah the spam came back you thought it was a gonner...

My own singing bugs me...

did I tell you I have a breakfast date?

phlegmfatale said...

I'm having fall-envy, reading your post. I can't wait until it's cool here, too. Maybe a road trip to Arkansas to see the trees is due next week or so...

Yeah, I noticed that about the more readable font on the second word verification. I only have that on my blog because it keeps the spammers from driving me nuts, but I have to try several times,like you, even when posting on my own blog. Maybe it aint worf it.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You almost died from that lady's bad breath, Mel! That is powerful halitosis. I wonder if she had a lot of tooth decay or gum disease or something. Woof!

hahaha word verification was spying on you, Dev.
I think you shouldn't HAVE to learn plumbing or auto mechanics in high school, unless you're in a trades stream, but that the people whom you hire to do that should have to learn to do it properly while in trade school. It can't be all that difficult, yet they manage to fuck it up all the time it seems. (Okay auto mechanics is getting increasingly complex, but shit still runs downhill as far as I know).
On the cutting into lines, Jerry goes so far as to straddle the line when inching along those known trouble spots, because that behaviour is rampant here.

The grey peas sound particularly appealing, Ben. Nothing says Guy Fawkes night like grey peas!

Are you kidding, John? Lenny is hilarious, but that may just be my history with that name which makes me think that...

Your office sounds divine, Karen. I would be staring out the window all day if I were you. I went from an office with a window (facing the parking garage, but there was always lots of drama) to a corner of the lab with no windows at all, in fact there are no windows in our entire hallway. I have no idea what's happening outside.
It does seem that Blogger bases its hissing fits directly upon the degree of your desire to post a picture.

I completely understand why people use word verification, Barbara W, I just wish that it was legible. Or they could do what ticketmaster does, and use an actual word - that's way easier.
So now I'm going to have "the cat came back" stuck in my head all day - thanks a lot.

A road trip to Arkansas to see the trees - that sounds so romantic, Phlegmfatale! I am very glad we have all the seasons here.
Isn't that just adding insult to injury when your own word verification trips you up? Brutal.

hilary m. said...

Ah, word verification. I constantly undergo battles with myself to remove, but I usually don't.

But what bothers me right now:
-My computer. It is slow when it shouldn't be, and the fan is broken so it overheats and shuts down.
-I might be catching my dads cold, I never catch colds.
-My math homework. Which is boring. I didn't know you had to review volume and area in Pure 10.
-My Humanities essay about "the Utopian Education System" on Monday. I hate utopias. And my mum keeps corrupting me with her ideas for one.
-My hair. The brown roots are sticking out and I swear they look grey.. I'm only 14!! And now it's like browny-faded pumpkin orange. I desperatly need to walk down to Shoppers for a new dye.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh man, Hillary! Computer woes, dad's cold, math review, mom's utopia, and grey roots at 14. You deserve a break today. Wait, I didn't mean it like McDonald's... How about some Cuff the Duke instead?

Maureen said...

I'll have to take some nice fall pics and post them for you, it's absolutely BEAUTIFUL here :) I love fall too!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

That was be great! I'd love to see some fall photos from PEI, Maureen. It's the best time of year, isn't it?

karen said...

I LOVE fall. Yes Ben, it is drizzly and miserable but so am I and I bloody love it!

I am SO glad you posted about word verification. I thought I was just retarded.

Yes yes yes to people who cut in traffic - I have perfected the art of edging forward while keeping a matter of inches between me and the car in front as a clear 'no way, no gap for you here you hateful shit'.

Blogger is getting on my tits lately. My comments keep disappearing. I've written the same comment on my own blog three times! I'm also terrifed they're still floating around somewhere and suddenly three everso slightly different versions of the same thing will pop up!

Will said...

Blogger can be exceptionally annoying - a lot. Pissing me off as of late is the fact that I have to go to work, the SF Giants total meltdown, and this DVD duplication place that totally ripped me off.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh lord yes, Kees! That's a fear of mine as well, when my comments disappear and I redo them, will they suddenly reappear and make me look like a total fool? So, if I ever get three slightly different versions of the same thought from you I shall understand and curse the ghost in the Blogger machine. Please do the same when it happens to me.
Don't let those cut-in bastards cut in!

Having to go to work pisses me off frequently as well, Will, and I have to ask myself, is it really so much to expect that I can just have enough to live on without having to waste my life at work? I guess it is, sadly.
Shame about the Giants - I actually am just starting to think about the world series now - I am way behind this year.
What happened at the DVD duplication place? Do we need to send them nasty letters? Because we can!

Maureen said...

oh, I forgot the "what's pissing me off" part of the post! let's see, short list - Lane's teacher, my sister, the detour, lack of time to get anything done - i think that's about it for the short list :)

Serah said...

Learning to drive is pissing me off more than anything else I could possibly imagine. I despise it. I never have time to practice. My parents don't have a clue what to teach me and how the hell am I supposed to learn, driving down the same streets on my way to work. And it's only 15 minutes. I spent an hour and 45 minutes with an instructor today. And I broke down and cried at the end. Such fun.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Those are pretty big items for a short list, Maureen! Don't tell me Lane has that same evil teacher again this year!

Oh Serah, I'm so sorry! If I were there I'd take you for a driving lesson and we'd make it fun.
My brother taught me how to drive, for which I am so grateful because our dad taught him and more than once my brother got out of the car and walked home. Not the most patient man, was my dad.

Deb said...

Laughing at Barbara (with a bird)..."my own singing". Yep, I could add that one too. Only mine probably pisses OTHER people off more than it bugs me - I've learned to live with my screech owl in a blender tone.

Will said...

Oh, no, I'm putting the DVD thing behind me, but they will get a serious diss when I'm a big rap star.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Gee it never occured to me that my singing could piss people off, Deb. It probably does! Oh well.

Good for yoy, Will, you'll save yourself a lot of stress and those bitches are going down when they least expect it!

Maureen said...

no, not the same teacher, well not exactly - it's her eviler sister, I think I might kill someone....haha

pero said...

This morning, I stopped at a gas station (I happened to be in Washington State where, unlike OREGON where I live, you are allowed to pump your own gas) - and the nozzle "trigger" would not remain in position. It could click off repeatedly.

I gave up and entered the building to report the problem and the employee huffed, walked out to the pump, lifted the nozzle and (wiggled?) the trigger... afterwhich she stated "yes it is broken I guess. it is too loose."

That is what pissed me off today.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

What the hell is going on at that school, Maureen? And is everybody in PEI really related? Cause it's starting to seem that way from here.

Hi Pero, welcome!
You're not allowed to pump your own gas in Oregon? Is that to cut down on gas theft?
Don't you love it when people are not only so extremely helpful, but also so great at stating the obvious?

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