If you think the conversations on this blog get a little weird sometimes, you should be grateful you aren't in the car with Eva and I sometimes.
For some reason, yesterday we started talking about what it would be like at Thom Yorke's house 40 years from now. We pictured him as an even more grumpy old man who does not tolerate idiots. His strange ginger fuzz has become even more unkempt and is liberally streaked with grey. Plus his eyebrows and his ear-hairs have grown out of control, causing him to have trouble seeing past his shaggy eyebrows, which only makes him more irritable.
Daughter Agnes is a doctor and lives in Oxford, as she has always felt somewhat responsible for her father's well-being. She comes over periodically to trim his eyebrows, for which she gets soundly berated.
(All conversation is said in our best Oxford accents, of course):
"Father, sit still, you cannot see a thing. I must trim these bushes or you'll trip and you'll break your hip! And then what will you do?"
"Leave me alone, Agnes, I don't want to see those pathetic idiots around here anyway! I'm better off with a broken hip than to have to look at those sheep".
And Rachel looks into the living room from her studio and sighs.
Son Noah has long ago made his escape to London, where he writes children's books. He has never been comfortable around his father's vitriolic tongue and he only visits on Guy Falk's Day and Christmas. He is gay, which doesn't bother Thom, other than the fact that Noah's partner is an insurance salesman.
Radiohead are still for the most part in touch on a regular basis. They usually meet at Jonny Greenwood's flat to sing their old songs, except that Thom gets disgusted because he thought they were meeting to discuss overtaking the Labour party government. When Jonny leaves the room to get them all another beer, Thom usually takes a whack with his cane at Jonny's little dogs, whom he hates with a passion.
"Yelp! Yelp! Yelp!"
"Thom, what did you do to my dogs?"
"Little bastards bit me!"
"They did not - they have no teeth - just like you"
"Well they meant to. I could tell by the look in their eyes. Little cretins!"
"You can't even see them, Thom!"
"I don't need to see them; I can feel their evil eyes upon me."
And so on and so on.
Eva gets all her weirdness from her father.