Thursday, August 03, 2006

Oxford, 2046
If you think the conversations on this blog get a little weird sometimes, you should be grateful you aren't in the car with Eva and I sometimes.

For some reason, yesterday we started talking about what it would be like at Thom Yorke's house 40 years from now. We pictured him as an even more grumpy old man who does not tolerate idiots. His strange ginger fuzz has become even more unkempt and is liberally streaked with grey. Plus his eyebrows and his ear-hairs have grown out of control, causing him to have trouble seeing past his shaggy eyebrows, which only makes him more irritable.

Daughter Agnes is a doctor and lives in Oxford, as she has always felt somewhat responsible for her father's well-being. She comes over periodically to trim his eyebrows, for which she gets soundly berated.
(All conversation is said in our best Oxford accents, of course):
"Father, sit still, you cannot see a thing. I must trim these bushes or you'll trip and you'll break your hip! And then what will you do?"
"Leave me alone, Agnes, I don't want to see those pathetic idiots around here anyway! I'm better off with a broken hip than to have to look at those sheep".

And Rachel looks into the living room from her studio and sighs.

Son Noah has long ago made his escape to London, where he writes children's books. He has never been comfortable around his father's vitriolic tongue and he only visits on Guy Falk's Day and Christmas. He is gay, which doesn't bother Thom, other than the fact that Noah's partner is an insurance salesman.

Radiohead are still for the most part in touch on a regular basis. They usually meet at Jonny Greenwood's flat to sing their old songs, except that Thom gets disgusted because he thought they were meeting to discuss overtaking the Labour party government. When Jonny leaves the room to get them all another beer, Thom usually takes a whack with his cane at Jonny's little dogs, whom he hates with a passion.

"Yelp! Yelp! Yelp!"
"Thom, what did you do to my dogs?"
"Little bastards bit me!"
"They did not - they have no teeth - just like you"
"Well they meant to. I could tell by the look in their eyes. Little cretins!"
"You can't even see them, Thom!"
"I don't need to see them; I can feel their evil eyes upon me."

And so on and so on.

Eva gets all her weirdness from her father.

17 comments:

Ben said...

I don't think that's weird, It's totally believable.

I'm trying to imagine you and Eva doing an Oxford accent ????

Allison said...

that was great...I was trying to imagine you guys telling that story in accents too :)
conversations like that take place in my house too, except yours has greater (and funnier) detail.

mellowlee said...

heehee! that's great! Eva sounds awesome, and I bet you are a really fun Mom!

She's Crafty said...

I like that a lot. Much more exciting than "I'll be the Mama and you be the Baby" and "Dora and Boots" which I get to play quite often with Ella. But this is how the strange conversations begin! (I know 'cause I was a weird imaginative creature too, and I got it from my dad!)

She's Crafty said...

"Was"? what am I saying...like you can outgrow that! LOL!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

It probably is pretty close to the truth isn't it, Ben? Well, I don't know if Noah is gay or not, but ...
Eva and I can't tell an Oxford accent from a Manchester accent, so we very likely butcher it, but it's fun regardless.

Bad accent, too, Allison, but we keep trying! Although Eva did a monologue from Trainspotting for Drama last year and her drama teacher praised her highly on her Scottish accent.
It's doing shit like that which makes life fun, isn't it?

Eva is really fun to hang around with, Mellowlee. I've been dreading her leaving home ever since she was 12! Who would I play with?

You never do outgrow it, Sarah. I can picture three generations of your family all playing weird imagination games together. Who wants to grow up anyway? It's highly overrated.

Barbara said...

Changing the subject again. Your letter was read on SLC today!!!!
Congrats on spotting the ultimate hippy maybe...

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Hahaha I just heard that segment Barbara W! Damn, Jian pronounces my name well - better than I do!

Will said...

Oh my ... that is just too clever and too funny. A fun conversation to be a part of ... i can only imagine.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

It's scary in the car with us sometimes, Will! And don't even get me started on our dinner table conversations...

kees said...

Me and Thom are like, besty friends so I'll report back in 40 years and let you know. When I lived in Oxford I saw him coming out of a shop once. We're practically inseparable.

Rupert said...

Good god, that picture is brilliant!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Besty friends with Thom, Kees! LOLZ, wouldn't THAT be surreal! I thought I recognised you from somewhere - all those publicity photos!

The man can't take a bad picture, Rob! And that's only part of his genius.

phlegmfatale said...

Wow, the guy from Radiohead is hypomanic, which I am, as well. In good company? I think so.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I think you are both in good company, Phlegmfatale. And I am sure you are as photogenic.

tydes said...

I thought that was brilliant but I have a feeling that's Eva gets some of her 'weirdness' from her mother as well. :P

I just wanted to add that I could see Thom with thick, black horned rim glasses and perpetually be shuffling around the streets in a wooly, brown trenchcoat. He'd probably stay inside a lot but when he did go out, he'd openly curse out people at random for being 'bloody idiots' and then blame it on senility.

Oh wait. That'll be me in 50 years.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

That may be you in 50 years, Jeff, but it will be ME in 20 years!
Eva inherits only beauty and brilliance from her mother.