Once upon a time there was a zombie who had a few cds, so she bought some cds racks from IKEA. When IKEA was located way up in the north end of the city, she used to like to go there quite regularly, every 6 weeks or so. They always asked for her postal code at the checkout and she always chuckled to herself, "I'll bet they're thinking that if they moved the store closer to that Z1Z 1Z1, they'd make a pile more money."
And one day, that's exactly what happened. Since then, however, the zombie has only been to IKEA three times, the last two times being a year and a half apart. What happened? How did IKEA's finely crafted plans for market dominance fall apart?
Well first, the new store, although only a 10-minute drive from the zombie's house, was located in one of those big box malls. You know the kind - where you have to drive from one store to the next because they are just that far apart. And the road system in those malls was designed by some deranged labyrinth-maker, who was let out of the psychiatric ward only long enough to scribble down on a napkin some roadways guaranteed to gridlock if more than 7 cars were in the area at the same time. The zombie always swore she would never again set foot (or wheel) in another one of those big box malls.
Plus the new store was three times the size of the old one (which was just the right size), so that the zombie always ended up in the screaming baby section while she was looking for office furniture and started to hyperventilate when she couldn't find her way to the exit before her shopping stamina wore out.
And then one day, the cds stacks spilling out of the increasing number of racks on the kitchen counter got out of control. The zombie, who despises clutter, said something must be done. So she girded her loins (and that hurt!) and made the trip to IKEA.
Where she found a shelf-insert that was exactly the right size for the space she had available in her kitchen! And when she put it together and put all the kitchen cds into it, there was even space left over to fill up with new ones! Of course she had to get rid of all the cookbooks to make room for the shelf, but she didn't much use cookbooks anyway.
And she lived happily ever after.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GEORGE STROUMBOULOPOULOS!!!
George has been nominated for a Gemini award as best host.
Go here to vote for him.
Vote early, vote often - it would make a nice bd present.
Hilary is going to be interviewed on Sounds Like Canada! Probably tomorrow, so do try to listen online. You've got 5 time zones to choose from, so there are no excuses.
Hilary is going to give Jian a hard time about why she is whupping his ass at reading Ulysses.
Should be good fun.