Friday, June 09, 2006

Where the daughter has Grad and the mother acts like a bitch...

Grad ceremony at the Junior High last night, followed by a dinner and dance for the kiddies. The glory of it all is captured in this fine photo to your right. You can be forgiven for assuming it is some sort of spectral presence captured at a seance, but it is really just bad photography.
When all the grads filed into the gym, some people started giving them a standing ovation, gradually at first, and then eventually you had to stand in order to see anything at all, whether or not you believe that passing grade 9 actually merits a standing ovation. As I pointed out (probably more loudly than I should have), it's grade 9, for Christ's sake - you are expected to be able to pass grade 9!
They will all be going to a new school next year, so some sort of ceremony is required, but let's keep things in perspective, people. Give your kids a little more credit than that.

After the speeches, we were doing the lock-kneed shuffle down the hall and out of the school, and who did I find myself next to but the most pretentious phoney in Lake Bonavista, mother of one of the ringleaders of the popular mean girls. So naturally I pretended not to notice her, but eventually she spotted me and said hi.
Phoney: "So what school is Eva going to next year?"
Bitch: "Henry Wise Wood"
Phoney: "Oh? Wise Wood? Well that's a good school. Why is she going there?"
Bitch: "Oh she's taking IB"
Phoney: "IB? So she likes to study, does she?" (implying but not saying, 'she's a loser with no social life')
Bitch: "Not particularly, no." (implying but not saying, 'she's really smart and doesn't need to study')
And then after Bitch remembers Phoney's daughter's name, she asks: "And where will A. be going?"
Phoney: "Oh, A. chose EP Scarlett."
And in her head, Bitch is screaming : "she didn't choose Scarlett! It's the designated school in this area, you phoney!"
And then Bitch saw an opening in the crowd ahead of her, said nice to talk to you again, and caught up with her long-suffering husband.
But the kids had a great time at the dinner and dance and that's the most important thing. It was actually pissing rain as they were boarding the bus to go to the dance, and still being in full-blown bitch overload I looked upon the monsoon as a great equalizer between those girls who had skipped school that afternoon to get their hair done and those who scrunched theirs up and spritzed a little hair spray into it and called it done. Because they all looked the same after that rain.

17 comments:

John Mutford said...

It doesn't sound like you were a bitch. It does sound like that lady was phoney. You must have infinite patience. What is IB, btw?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Aw thanks John - you're just saying that to be nice, because I really was quite bitchy. But she was phonier than I was bitchy!

IB is International Baccalaureate, which is a high school advanced study program that is recognized around the world. Kids can use high school courses toward university credits. (yeah my kid is pretty smart - takes after her dad, thank god)

John Mutford said...

Wow, that's sounds like a great program! Good for her.

Alana said...

Oh man, Barbara. John's right, you must have infinite patience, I'da put on a huge, fake grin while saying "Oh, how nice. Why don't you go die now?" through clenched teeth.

And congrats to Eva on both getting out of Junior High, and getting into IB, good for her! :)

But don't sell yourself short, she may take after her Dad, but I sure hope she's got her Mom's edge!

hilary m. said...

Eee, all this talk about high school gets me worried. I'm not sure if I'll do IB or not. That'll wait till like. The end of next year, haha. And I'm supposed to decide for next week whether I want to do science 9 or 10 next year.

The choices are overwhelming for us kids. I love my little school, but there are too many decisions.

congrats on Eva getting into IB though!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thanks John - she makes me pretty darn proud.

Oh I'm too much of a chicken shit to say anything to anybody's face, Alana. I just blog about them later!
Thanks on your congrats and on your sweetness - I've always wanted to be edgy harhar.

Hilary, if you are going into grade 9 next year and looking at taking science 10, you have nothing to worry about in the academic department, that's for sure.
But certainly you have to make far more choices than we did 150 years ago. Sometimes that's good, sometimes not.
Thanks for your congrats to Eva btw.

Allison said...

That sounds like something my mom would do (insert tight lipped smile). But I agree with John and Alana that lady sounded much worse than you.
Send more congrats to Eva on IB!

hilary m. said...

I have decided I will take Science 10.
(my conversation)
Me: Mum should I take science 10 next year?
Mum: Yeah.
Me: Kay. I will.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Then it's unanimous, Allison, she was phonier than I was bitchy. Thanks for the support, and I'll pass along your congrats to Eva.

Sounds like you and your mom have NO issues in communications there, Hilary. Good for you for doing Science 10. Your folks must be proud.

phlegmfatale said...

wow, weather DOES make for a great equalizer!

props to you for having the self-possession not to make some sort of smarmy comment which we're ALL thinking of phoney & her phoney mom!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thanks Phlegmfatale! It was more a case of delayed satisfaction (ie telling all y'all about it later), than it was self-possession. Revenge truly is a dish best served cold.

Becky said...

Hey, I'm going into IB! All my sister's went into it, too...
Is she taking full or just part IB?
I plan to just take it in English and Social... apparently full IB is A LOT of work (according to my workaholic sisters)...
Congrats Eva!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Well congrats to you too, Becky! What a lot of smart kids there are around.

Eva's taking partial IB as well - English, History/Social, and Fine Arts.

~Jen~ said...

Hey! I FAILED GRADE 9!!!!!!! maybe had someone clapped whilst standing for me ida done it the 1st time hahahhaha

LOL @ PHONY LOSER TWAT LADY...

gawd i hate humans

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oops. I guess maybe there is a point to the excessive standing ovations then, Jen.

"gawd i hate humans" - I'm stealing that one for my quote tonight!

Maureen said...

I failed grade 9 too, but I went to grade 9 grad twice (well, the unofficial drinking version anyway, haha). Congrats to Eva!!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Well at least you partook in the partying, Maureen. You had your priorities straight.