Where the daughter has Grad and the mother acts like a bitch...
Grad ceremony at the Junior High last night, followed by a dinner and dance for the kiddies. The glory of it all is captured in this fine photo to your right. You can be forgiven for assuming it is some sort of spectral presence captured at a seance, but it is really just bad photography.
When all the grads filed into the gym, some people started giving them a standing ovation, gradually at first, and then eventually you had to stand in order to see anything at all, whether or not you believe that passing grade 9 actually merits a standing ovation. As I pointed out (probably more loudly than I should have), it's grade 9, for Christ's sake - you are expected to be able to pass grade 9!
They will all be going to a new school next year, so some sort of ceremony is required, but let's keep things in perspective, people. Give your kids a little more credit than that.
After the speeches, we were doing the lock-kneed shuffle down the hall and out of the school, and who did I find myself next to but the most pretentious phoney in Lake Bonavista, mother of one of the ringleaders of the popular mean girls. So naturally I pretended not to notice her, but eventually she spotted me and said hi.
Phoney: "So what school is Eva going to next year?"
Bitch: "Henry Wise Wood"
Phoney: "Oh? Wise Wood? Well that's a good school. Why is she going there?"
Bitch: "Oh she's taking IB"
Phoney: "IB? So she likes to study, does she?" (implying but not saying, 'she's a loser with no social life')
Bitch: "Not particularly, no." (implying but not saying, 'she's really smart and doesn't need to study')
And then after Bitch remembers Phoney's daughter's name, she asks: "And where will A. be going?"
Phoney: "Oh, A. chose EP Scarlett."
And in her head, Bitch is screaming : "she didn't choose Scarlett! It's the designated school in this area, you phoney!"
And then Bitch saw an opening in the crowd ahead of her, said nice to talk to you again, and caught up with her long-suffering husband.
But the kids had a great time at the dinner and dance and that's the most important thing. It was actually pissing rain as they were boarding the bus to go to the dance, and still being in full-blown bitch overload I looked upon the monsoon as a great equalizer between those girls who had skipped school that afternoon to get their hair done and those who scrunched theirs up and spritzed a little hair spray into it and called it done. Because they all looked the same after that rain.