I ran into my arch nemesis (quite literally) in Safeway yesterday. He's an obese old man on an oxygen tank who smells really bad. You know that sour old man in unwashed clothes smell, ratcheted up to the nth degree.
In my first encounter with him a couple of weeks ago, he and his cart were blocking the aisle. I stopped, said excuse me, and got no response. I said excuse me a bit louder, and his wife who was a ways up the aisle, turned and said "Frank, you're blocking that lady's way", so which he responded:
"Well, that's her problem, isn't it?"
Imagine my glee when I saw him and his cart partially blocking the aisle yesterday. He was rooting around on the shelf, looking for something fattening, and his long suffering wife wasn't with him. So I rammed his cart out of the way, sending it careening down the aisle.
I'm going to hell for sure, but it was worth it. And if you've read what my horoscope says in the About Me section of this blog, you have been sufficiently forewarned as to what I am really like.
So if you ever need anybody taken out in the grocery store, give me a call. I will be happy to do your dirty deeds (dirt cheap) because I love you.