Sunday, March 26, 2006

How Do You Get Rid of a Woodpecker?
It sounds like the first line of a joke, doesn't it? But believe me, dearest readers, 'tis no joke.
Crazy season is starting again (March to October) in which woodpeckers incessantly eat our house. You should see the big bloody holes they put in the wood! One year they even built a nest beneath the cedar siding. We've tried all the "solutions" offered by the wild bird store and have been resorting to cat patrol a lot, but they are getting smarter and are drilling up at the second floor level. Right beside my head when I'm lying in bed, actually.
Perhaps we can lower Sputnik in a sling from the roof down to where they are attacking.
Currently the woodpeckers begin their day at about 7:30, but in high summer it starts getting light about 4:00am. They seem to feel that it's fair game to begin drilling any time after dawn. Now I'm a fairly early riser, but that's ridiculous.
We've tried slingshots and pellet guns with limited success. Short of replacing the cedar siding with aluminum, not in the budget and not appealing to my sense of aesthetics, I'm at a loss. Any suggestions, oh wise people?

26 comments:

Barbara said...

Take a picture of them for me please.
My late boyfriend, Graham was an exterminator. He would have had good advise for you. You should consult a pest control company. They can be humane too.

Maureen said...

Time to get the double barrelled shotgun out - you all have them in Alberta, don't you? ;)

Ben Heller said...

I've just come from a meeting with their spokesman, William, and he said.
"We feel that humans should consider bringing the clocks forward to fit in with our working hours."

Tydes Perdition said...

What about a series of windchimes and such around the edges of your house? Of course, it may start to look gaudy. Maybe several cats or some flying lizard that considers woodpeckers its prey?

Barbara said...

Tydes where do you find flying lizards? That sounds like a cool animal.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Hey, I never thought of a pest control company, Barbara W. Goodd advice! Such smart people on the internet.

We're allowed to carry double barrelled shotguns only to school and church, Maureen, and the grocery store when people get into the 15 item line with 16 items. haha, no seriously a pellet gun is scary enough for me.

I thought their spokesperson's name was Woody, Ben, but perhaps I am seriously behind the times. Next time you meet with William, would you mind asking him if they could contain themselves to our equally-tasty garage, and leave the house, and then everything would be cool?

The windchimes would drown out the drilling, do you think, Jeff? Maybe a really big white noise machine would work too.
I love the flying lizard idea, and agree with Barbara W that it sounds like a hella-kewl animal. I picture lots of little rapters sailing about the yard. Sweet!

You guys are all great! Thanks for indulging my homemaker issues!

Jas Bhambra said...

Barb, paint some extraaaaaaaaaaaaa super super super glue on the cedar siding. maybe they'll get stuck to the wall. Then Sputnik can do the rest! ;)

kelly the fireguy said...

ummm wouldn't the wind chimes keep her up ALL night?

kelly the fireguy said...

maybe if you dress up in a giant woodpecker costume...and tell them this is your turf....scare them away?......you could break one of their little beaks and make it a warningn to the others

Barbara said...

If you dress up like a giant woodpecker could you please take a picture of that for me!

Tydes Perdition said...

I was thinking of the windchimes just scaring them away rather than drowning out the noise. Sometimes, simply having movement can make a difference. I can remember growing up and my dad would put up things inside of the large shed where he kept the machinery to keep away the pigeons so they wouldn't shit all over everything.

The flying lizard? I pulled that square out of my ass. I pictured a large iguana with wings. If you lived in a warm climate, though, you might be able to utilize a few large snakes in your backyard to keep them away. Of course, neighbour hood dogs and cats might start to disappear too.

Neil said...

Here's a morbid suggestion that I know works for crows... but I don't know about wood peckers.

Kill one, and hang it's body near your house.

Crows avoid other dead crows. But I don't know if this will work with wood peckers.

At least you'll end up with a nice ornament to hang from your eves.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Jas, well that's a thought - we really should get the house painted this year anyway. Of course then I'd be trying to disengage my cat from the glue...

Kelly the fireguy, you were a mobster in a former life, weren't you? There'll be no dressing up in giant woodpecker costumes (and thus no photos taken of such, Barbara W), as the neighbours think I'm weird enough already.

Jeff, you might be onto something there - my dad used to hang stuff up to keep birds out of the garden. It looked like hell, but there were always lots of veggies. I do like the idea of the large snakes. I know my cat is wiley enough to stay out of their way. I would have to watch out for the little kids next door, though.

haha Neil - a nice ornament! If I can get a slaughtered bird away from my cat fast enough, I might just give that a try. Again though, I am worried about the fragile minds of the little kids next door, but they might think it's kinda cool. Kids love dead things.

Will said...

Um, well, can't say that I know too much about woodpeckers - I unwisely took up most of my brain with music trivia, leaving none for helpful information. I'm afraid all I can offer is MP3s. Good luck though.

Stephanie said...

Hehe awesome quote Barbara!

I can't believe you have woodpeckers, that's craziness! Ummm, get a metal house?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Will, I'll take the mp3s! Woodpeckers give a few hours of annoyance a day, music gives pleasure for life.

Stephanie - you know you've arrived when other people start quoting you on their sidebars! Is that your puppy on your new avatar?

WolfHeart RavenHorse said...

Take him out with some stained carrots! lol

WolfHeart

Stephanie said...

Yes, I am truly honored to be quoted in your sidebar. I really am!

And yes, that is Coco in my avatar. Man she's cute.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

haha Bev - the old stained carrot plot!

Stephanie - does your mom know I've been quoting her?
Coco is adorable!

Stephanie said...

Ummmm no she does not know that she's being quoted. And I don't plan on telling her, because then she'll be even more insistent on seeing my blog, which I don't really want to happen.

So, mum's the word

also, Coco says thank you

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Stephanie - wise move. I wouldn't want my mother reading my blog either. It's weird enough that my daughter reads it sometimes.

~Jen~ said...

I have a friend who is a birder and knows pretty much everything....if he doesnt have the answer no one will...ill get back to u.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thanks Jen! That'd be supa fantastico!

Simon Langer said...

Hi there, I was surfing the internet and I found your blog. I like the way how this all works. I'll come by again.

Many thanks,

how to birding

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Hi Simon, welcome. Thanks I'll try to keep you updated on the bird situation.

Anonymous said...

our neighbor has this woodpecker who is destroying the same section of his house agin...he already had someone come and replace the wood where he "drilled" several holes..now this weekend he was away and the woodpecker came back! my husband heard him and then saw him...he said he should've thrown a rock at him! I said that's not smart, what if you miss and break his window?? lol...honestly, my fear is that he will leave our neighbors home and come to ours....we have vinyl siding though but there is a wooden porch....

and I did read that they are a federally protected bird, so you can't just kill them....unreal...