Monday, October 31, 2005

The Voices Say Hello...

Well, if that's not a scary Hallowe'en picture, I don't know what is.
Mr. Good, not only can you write some kickass creepy lyrics, you can look the part when called upon.
Sensory overload tonight - waaay too much candy purchased, some damn cute little kids, cat trying to get into the chocolate, Eva playing Bauhaus loudly in the kitchen, and I'm trying to make plans with Kellee for her supa-fantastic northern excursion tomorrow.
It'll be fun to meet up and I am so excited about the Matt Good concert. I'm so glad he's a frequent tourer. Last year's show was Gr8!
Here's an excerpt from MBLOG today:
Matt Good: For those of you wearing costumes to the show tonight, do your best to maneuver yourselves in front of the stage (or in the general vicinity). I’ll do my best to try and pick out a few winners and haul them up on stage to hang out with the band for a few songs. Unless, that is, there are only two people in costume, then all bets are off. Of course the usual rules apply – French Maids, cat women, little Bo peeps, and anyone dressed up like Michael Myers automatically win.
Barb: What about if we wear costumes tomorrow night at Mac Hall? Do we get to come up on stage too?
Matt: Ah, well, no. It’s not Halloween. Though I am never against anyone dressing up on any day of the year as either a French Maid or Mike Myers.
Barb: Mike Myers it is then. You don’t want to see me dressed up as a french maid, trust me on this.Anybody can dress up for Hallowe’en. It takes a special kind of idiot to pull it off the day after.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

It's the most wonderful time of the year....


Any CBC Radio One fans out there? Did you listen to DNTO yesterday?
Nick Purdon interviewed Winnipeg horror author Susie Maloney and at the finale she read what she considers to be the scariest words ever written, the first paragraph of Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House. I was utterly gobsmacked because (I bullshit you not) every Hallowe'en I climb up to the top shelf of the bookcase and haul down my battered copy of The Haunting of Hill House and read that exact same passage.
This book, published in 1959, is 60 gajillion times better than any of the myriad of films that were based on it. If you've never read it, it's a keeper.
Here then, in its entirety, is my Hallowe'en reading, one day early, of the initial paragraph of Shirley Jackson's classic novel, The Haunting of Hill House:
No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against the hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more. Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.
***********
Very shortly, we are heading out to Fright Fest (the haunted house for which I won tickets a couple of weeks ago). We are going to test the spook factor; they claim three people peed their pants there last year.
Chain saw wielding maniacs versus my bladder
Who will win?
Update: My bladder won! Yay!
It was fun though.

Friday, October 28, 2005


I am so in love .........
Whenever a musician or a band that I really love releases a new cd I get all stupid and I listen to their new cd and everything else they have ever released over and over again until my family goes nuts. I did this when Matt Good released White Light Rock and Roll Review, when the Weakerthans released Reconstruction Site, and now I've been listening to my newest loves, The Constantines, after the release of Tournament of Hearts.
I know, I'm a music slut.
This got me thinking about how music fanaticism is a lot like sexual love. There's the infatuation stage, where every thought is about your lover; when you're not with him, you're thinking about being with him. And when you are together, you are making a conscious effort to capture every sensation to bring out and mull over later. This intense passion can only last so long. An inferno which blazes that hot either quickly burns itself out into ash and goes cold or settles into a calmer but sustainable ember. And then, if you're lucky you stay together and find comfort and companionship in his, by now, familiar touch.
For the last few days I've been listening to the Cons non-stop, except for when I'm sleeping and the other night I only got 4 1/2 hours sleep, so that's a whole pisspot of Cons. I'm still crazy in love with them, but today I bought Franz Ferdinand's new cd You Could Have It So Much Better and have started listening to it as well. It's totally FF, all Britpop and dancy and oh so sassy.
Quite different from the Cons who, like a good lover, show such restraint while slowly building the tension through the driving beat, so that you end up screaming for release.
I think finally that I'm starting to move into the next phase of my relationship with the lovely Cons.
Thank Christ. The sexual tension was starting to kill me.

Blogger ate my post yesterday!
And it was the most insightful and dazzling piece ever written
(or possibly the greatest pile of crap)

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Shhh, champion procrastinator at work ...
I'm at the office, 10:30 pm.
Burning the midnight oil, you say? Preparing for tomorrow's meeting?
Nah, I'm blogging, surfing, and reading the NME.
The teenager is at the Metric concert on campus tonight, so I thought "hey, great chance for me to finally sit down to do that volunteer work for the radio station which I've been promising them all summer, researching granting agencies".
I sure hope it's a really long concert, because I haven't even opened that folder yet.
Funny how even recreational activities can seem like work if you have to do them.
#######
I got my flu vaccination yesterday.
Jerry refuses to get one, has never had one, as he figures that he will have some kind of reaction to it.
?
I figure - I'm not allergic to eggs or albumin (okay eggs sometimes give me stinky farts but whatever), I've never had Guillain-Barre Syndrome, and sure it's a crap shoot as to which flu strain becomes most prevalent this year, but I now have some protection against three strains anyway.
Beats the odds on the lotto.
Two people who have made a difference ...
for entirely different reasons
Rosa Parks, who passed away this week. Her quiet act of defiance in 1955 Alabama sparked the civil rights movement and ushered into the limelight a young charismatic preacher named Martin Luther King.
****
John Peel, who passed away one year ago today. As a BBC DJ, he was responsible for promoting such musicians as David Bowie, White Stripes, Pulp, The Smiths, Nirvana, Joy Division, The Clash, The Fall, Public Enemy .....
The world's greatest music fan, music's greatest champion

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Hippopotomonstrosequippedaliophobia
(fear of long words)
Well, there's no way I suffer from that one. I'm a big old windbag who loves throwing big words around to make people think I'm smart.
necrotising fasciatis
antidisestablishmentarianism
fimbria-fornix deafferentation
onomatopoeia
bwaaahaaahaaa! Are you impressed yet?
My dad, who also loved weird words (and used to read the encyclopedia for pleasure), used to love one particular German word.
When you modify a noun in German, you simply add the adjective onto the front of the noun, so the word can get pretty damned long. There is a motion in front of the German parliament to make changes to the language to eliminate that, which I think would be a shame.
I wish I remember exactly what that word was that my dad liked, but it was about 25 syllables long. Something about an ocean-faring commercial steamship captain.
------------------
Have you ever had a crush on a cartoon character?
I used to think that Bugs Bunny was pretty hot. I'm pretty sure he was gay, now that I think about it, but gay guys are generally hot, due to the sassiness factor. I'd want to hang with him.

So, who's your cartoon crush, past or present?

Monday, October 24, 2005

MUSIC TO MAKE YOU FEEL HIGH
That's what The Weakerthans said about The Constantines

^^ That's what Chart said about the new Con's CD (and gave it 5 out of 5)

This is what I think:

Tournament of Hearts is a great CD, more mellow, more personal than the brilliant Shine a Light. The rhythmns on TOH are not quite as richly textured, as deeply layered as on SAL. For me, I miss that. I miss the purely visceral groove that SAL had running throughout the whole cd. TOH is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but I still swoon for SAL.

I love the Constantines. They first really came to my attention when they were touring with the Weakerthans. I had heard the odd song before but it didn't really register.So the band comes on stage and this clean-cut pleasant-looking young man steps up to the mic and out of his lungs booms this HUGE voice: deep, raspy, powerful. There's no way this choirboy should have the voice of a demon, but he does.

Bryan Webb's voice is indeed a staggering weapon, as Chart states. It pierces through my guts and plays havouc with my intestines whenever I hear it.

Generally I am drawn to male voices in music, with a few notable exceptions (Neko Case, Christine Fellows). And the voices I'm drawn to usually fall into two categories:

  1. open, friendly, slightly nasal voices, like John K Samson (the Weakerthans), Gordon Gano (the Violent Femmes), Ben Gibbard (Death Cab for Cutie)
  2. genuinely beautiful voices, with wide vocal ranges and rich artistry, like Matthew Good, Rufus Wainwright, Hawksley Workman, Thom Yorke (Radiohead)

Oh I guess there's a third category, although it's accents more than voices. I love the posh little British accents of Brit pop, like Alex Kapranos (Franz Ferdinand), Morrissey (the Smiths), Carl Barat (the Libertines)

... bloody shitcakes, did I ever go off on a self-absorbed tangent there ... sooo, Tournament of Hearts - it's still growing on me, it's the Cons so it's great, but I still love Shine a Light best of all.

Oooo, update - the Constantines are touring the UK with Sleater-Kinney in early November. Now that's an interesting collaboration. So, if you're in the UK, ummm, you could go see them ...

Sunday, October 23, 2005


An Open Letter to George Romero

Dear Mr. Romero,
I'm sorry, but I did not love Land of the Dead. I wanted to and I tried really hard to, because you are the Zombie King and you have instilled in me an enduring fascination with zombie culture.
Dawn of the Dead (1978) was probably one of the most influential films of my teen years. Of course it was scary and fun, but it also spoke to me in a way that touched me (as a mall zombie myself at the time). DOTD went beyond the gore and the frights and delved into the idea of the mall as a symbol of modern culture.
So I guess I was expecting the same revelations and insights into humanity, along with some great scares, when I rented Land of the Dead last night. Was I expecting too much? I don't think so.
Mr. Romero, you could have made it great. It could have been such a statement on society. You had all the premises there - the walled city inhabited by the wealthy, the outer edges populated by the working class, and out beyond - the undead - making nightly forages to the edges of the city to feed.
Oh you did make statements when you portrayed the tactical teams that would make nightly sweeps of the area, blasting away zombies with heavy artillery, but sadly, the movie was poorly executed. The non-zombie characters were cardboard caricatures, the acting wooden, the story formulaic. I couldn't even tell you any of the human characters' names, and if I don't bother to learn the names of the characters in a movie, it's a sure sign that I don't give a shit what's going on. The zombies were by far the most sympathetic and interesting characters. And I guess that was the point you were trying to make. You obviously wanted us to identify with the zombies as they learned to use rudimentary reasoning, to use objects as tools, to work as a team. That concept came across, particularly in regards to the kingpin zombie. He was good. That Chewbacca-like roar of his was a nice touch.
Sadly, though, it did not save your film.
Mr. Romero, the recent zombie flicks Shaun of the Dead (an homage to you, Mr. Romero) and 28 Days Later were far superior films, both in their originality and in their execution. Maybe it's time to let a new generation of film makers take over the zombie genre. Please don't become the Rolling Stones of the film world.
Thank you for listening,
your fan,
Barbara

Saturday, October 22, 2005


Trip Pics
They were out of lions by the time we got there.

clockwise from left: me, niece Kristin, niece Jane, sister Berni, brother Bruno, and mom

Tucker, the 22-pounder

oops, stand on your head for this one of me and my mom

from top left: nieces Sarah, Beth, Heather, Kristen, Mom, and Jane

-----------------

Is everyone else finding that it now takes hours and hours for new posts to show up on Blogger? When it used to be instantaneous? Or is it just my loser computer?

Friday, October 21, 2005

So, are they going to sleep at your house then, Ralph?
Ralph Klein has now declared that any child discovered in a situation in which drugs are present, most particularly in grow ops, will be removed from their parents and placed in the care of Child and Family Services.
Okay, I can see that grow ops are not healthy places to be living, what with the mould situation and all. And the criminal element generally involved are not the best role models.
But, where are they going to put these kids? I didn't hear anything about the already stretched resources of C&FS being extended. Are they going to sleep in the social workers' cars?
Ralph, if you are going to be making sweeping pronouncements like this, give those who have to implement these measures the resources to carry them out.
That's all.
Blistex and Hand Jobs and Geminis, Oh My
I don't know why I paraphrased The Wizard of Oz in this post title because I hate that movie. Okay, open invitation for all you Wizard of Oz lovers to attack me. Come on, bring it on...
-----------

My cat loves Blistex, I've just discovered. No wonder I go through so many tubes, because it can't just be my own personal addiction that accounts for that. Sputnik also eats soap (prefers Ivory over Dove) and shaving cream. And she licks all the sweat off your arms when you are lying on the floor stretching post-exercise. Maybe she's lacking some mineral in her diet.

------------

My brother-in-law (who's an English teacher!) couldn't think of the word manicure when he was telling his daughters what he was getting their mom for Christmas last year, so he told them he was getting her a handjob! HA!!

While we're on the topic, check out Pitt's hand job pic (Oct 19).

-------------

I don't usually like to talk about work here, but last year The Nature of Things filmed a documentary about our acute stroke program, which has been nominated for a Gemini. I'm not personally in it because this dealt with patient care and I'm in basic science research, but it's my team that's profiled.

brag brag brag brag brag

1 nomination for:
The Nature of Things: Clot Busters
Clot Busters chronicles three intense weeks with the rapid response team at the Alberta Foothills Hospital Stroke Unit. A rare glimpse into the life and death dilemmas of twenty-first century medicine.

Best Science, Technology, Nature, Environment or Adventure Documentary Program

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Hello Internet. I'm Back. Did You Miss Me?
Here are some salient points I learned on my trip to Manitoba:

1. Chicken balls will always be gross. Don't let anybody tell you that these chicken balls are going to be different because they will always be those disgusting little pieces of unidentifiable flesh surrounded by seven pounds of batter. They taste like their name.

2. The way to get a teenager's attention is to ask them "hey, do you want to see a picture of me and George Stroumboulopoulos?"


3. Brother-in-law will get you to the airport on time, much more than sister will.

4. There are some really great German swear words that I had forgotten (and will be posting over the next while for your entertainment and enlightenment).

5. Some people have never heard of Franz Ferdinand.

6. I am a music snob. Okay, I guess I already knew that.

7. Airport parking always costs a fuck of a lot more than you think it will.

8. You still have to pick up milk on the way home.


Monday, October 17, 2005

Whirlwind Jet-Setter Travel Update
I brought one mixed cd with me to Manitoba that I was listening to while travelling to the airport, so I am subjecting everyone here to my musical tastes.
Fortunately nobody could possibly find fault with Hawksley Workman, The Replacements, Matt Good, The New Pornographers, Joe Strummer, The Ramones, Belle and Sebastian, and The Violent Femmes, could they? Well, maybe the Hilary Duff fan isn't all that impressed.
I slept with the 22 pound cat last night and he was a pretty good bedmate, except when he woke up and stomped over to the other side of the pullout couch. I though he was going to flip the damn couch over on its side, trapping us inside the mattress, where our guts would be slowly squeezed out through our noses and ears.
I fed my mom gravy last night, thinking that it was soup.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

GOIN' TA WINNIPEG
(And Fright Fest!!)

Well, Winnipeg is as far as the plane goes, but then I'm on to Neepawa and
Brandon for my Mom's 84th birthday.
Looking forward to seeing my sisters, my brother, my nieces, and of course my dear old ma.
So I won't be posting much, if anything for the next week.
I'll miss lurking on everyone's blog, but I'm sure I can sneak onto my host's computers at times to feed my addiction to what you folks have to say.
See ya!!!
One last thing - I won another Swerve contest!
(Swerve being the great little sassy weekly magazine in the Calgary Herald)
In case you missed it I won a big fucking contest with Swerve in July this year
(well I thought it was big)
and I have bragged about it all in an earlier post, so won't bore you with details.
This time I won tickets to Fright Fest - a wicked Haunted House where
three people peed their pants last year.
I can't wait! I want to pee my pants too!
In my entry to the contest I whined about missing the Zombie Walk
on Friday night because I would be out of town.
So I'm hoping for a big pisspot of zombies at Fright Fest.


Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Uh, thanks Ralph ... I guess
The Canada West Foundation says that over a third of Albertans would rather see the $400/person rebate cheques go to improving services. Yeah, me too.
Oh, if I receive it, I will spend it. Don't get me wrong; I'm far too big of a hypocrite to send it back or give it all to charity. Besides our house desperately needs rewiring before the bloody thing burns to the ground. But I don't think we should be receiving them at all.
Firstly, it smells like a vote buying scheme. Secondly, it's going to cost a pile to send them out to everyone. And, sorry Ralph, but no matter how many Christmas presents you buy me, you are never going to be my favourite uncle.
How about building some new schools, hiring some more teachers, doing away with health premiums, or hiring more doctors? How about looking after some homeless people?


My toilet needs a carotid endarterectomy ... or something


This is everything I know about plumbing: Shit flows downhill.
Plumbing does not strike me as being particularly mysterious or complex. Or is it?
Can you compare toilet plumbing to human vasculature? Over the years, can toilets get plaque buildup (or *shudder* whatever the toilet equivalent is) in their arteries?
One of our toilets is a regular plugger, another a periodical plugger and the third (mine) has never plugged in the almost 8 years we've lived here. Until now.
It's now plugged twice in the last two weeks, and there has been no ... how to put this to not offend your delicate sensibilities ... no increase in the volume processed by this particular apparatus.
Is this malady of the vasculature a function of increasing age? Of physical inactivity? Poor diet, perhaps? Genetics?
How do you treat an aging toilet? Maybe I need to flush a baby alligator down there.


Monday, October 10, 2005


Eat my dust, Darryll!
Haha, just had a call from Darryll.
He thought that since he had won the friend of the century contest last year, it was off.
Not by a long shot, Mister.
Looking forward to receiving my *snicker* LATE card from you next week.
You're a hell of a competitor, man.
You said it was game on again for next year.
Oh, it's on!
(Love your spirit Darryll. Great to hear from you!)
I need a camera to my eye
to my eye reminding
which lies have I been hiding
which echoes belong
(Kamera - Wilco)

"How the hell does this work again?"

I turned 47 today.

If 47 isn't a time for reflection on your life, on what has passed and what is to come, then Christ I don't know what is. On the upside, you no longer give a shit about what others think about you. If they like you, great; if they don't, fuck 'em. On the downside, you can pretty much assume your life is more than half over.

You slowly realise that you are no longer 20. You don't abuse your body anymore and you learn to look after yourself. Fact is, I feel better, younger, and more energetic now than I did 10 years ago.

This is what the horoscope in the newspaper said about people born on October 10:

You're not casual. Quite the oposite; you're careful and precise. You observe everything around you. You are patient and will work tirelessly for your goals. You know how to create a beautiful home. In the year ahead, you'll wrap up things you've been involved with for years.

And of course we all know that horoscopes are bang-on accurate.

Actually my friend Holly in London once did my horoscope based on my date and time and place of birth and I really liked what she came up with:

"You are not as nice as people think you are."

Haha, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!



"I am Queen Shit"
--------------------

The Hour website is back up!
I have been waiting for too fucking long for the CBC lockout to end.
Bring it on!


Sunday, October 09, 2005

Nicole Does Catatonic

Have you seen Birth? We watched it last night, and I'm so glad that nobody took me up on my suggestion that we boot it and watch Shaun of the Dead instead.

So tell me, is Birth SUPPOSED to be a comedy? I know Nicole Kidman has done black comedy before (To Die For), but was this in the same vein? This film was simultaneously excruciatingly boring and absolutely hilarious.

Jerry of course went to bed just before it got really funny (he is famous for that), but Eva and I stayed up and shouted encouragement to the director: "Okay, we get the point! Move onto the next scene!" when the camera stayed on Nicole's catatonic face, while she was watching the symphony, for 5 or 6 minutes. And "Uh, Nicole, do you think it might be ill-advised to allow that 10-year-old boy to get into the tub with you?" And then after 10 minutes of them in the tub together she tells him: "What are you doing in here?" We almost wee-weed all over the couch.

But our all-time favourite line from Birth:

"I thought you were my dead husband, but you're just a little boy. In my bathtub."

It just doesn't get any better than that!

--------------

OMG, I fucking LOVE turkey!!!!!!

We are doing turkey tonight instead of tomorrow and it is making me crazy, smelling that beautiful bird all day long. (I had to go out to Zellers to buy a replacement bathmat just to get away from the aroma for a while)

I am cooking a 6.5 kg (14 lbs for our American friends) turkey for 3 people and a cat. What the hell was I thinking?

I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking that tomorrow (my birthday) I am going to do nothing all day long but sit on my fat ass and read and play on the computer and maybe do some yardwork (oh and have a big-assed workout) and then eat left-over turkey and rice and stuffing and brussel sprouts and green beans and salad and rhubarb pie with vanilla ice cream.

Yes, I said rhubarb, not pumpkin, pie. Rhubarb filling is sooooo much healthier than pumpkin, isn't it? *snort* Actually, I guess it is it you don't eat the pie crust, but I ask you, who can turn down a homemade pie crust? Not this little piggie.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, ALL

Do they know it's Thanksgiving
With 18,000 dead in Pakistan and India and 1,400 dead in Guatemala, I can only be humbled by the brutality of nature (which seems to be trying to keep up with the brutality of man). I know where my thoughts will be when I sit down to my massive turkey dinner in my comfortable home today. What makes me worthy?

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Harold*, Rudy**, Dick*** ...
whatever demented name Jerry's folks call you, Happy Birthday, Darryll
I don't have a digital photo of Darryll, but he and Bart are a lot alike.
Different hair colour, same sassy attitude.
Darryll was the only one of us from university days who ALWAYS remembered birthdays.
And then last year, I forgot his.
Darryll wins at the friend contest!
(* they could pronounce Darryll Sittler's name, but not this Darryll's name,
** for the red hair,
*** bastardization of last name)
You rock, Harold!


Friday, October 07, 2005



This Charming Man ....


... is Jerry, my sweetie-pie. My sweet babboo, my suggy-baby.

Seventeen years ago today, Judge Gladys I. Yokum (no shit, that was her name) married us at the courthouse in London, ON, while all our nieces, who were little tykes at the time, ran rampant around the room. It was great.

I was a little hungover, as we had stayed up till 5:00 that morning, drinking with my friend Terri who had flown in from Winnipeg to be a witness. And then I had a 9:00am interview at Employment Canada, as I had just quit my job selling livestock feed and wanted UIC benefits.

And then my dad was being weird and kept asking, as we were taking group shots outside the Middlesex County jailhouse, "what kind of sex is that?"

And then Jerry's dad, who had amputated the tip off his baby finger earlier that week putting on storm windows, was being all sauve and dancing with me and the bandage went flying off the tip of his finger right across the room.

These are old photos of Jer. You should see him now, since working out on the Bowflex for the last year. He is all buff and trim and I am very proud of him.

How does a person live with another person for 17 years? Well, as Jerry so sagely observed last night, he lived with our old cat, Pook, for 16 years, so. Cats, spouses, what's the difference?

So, Jerry, as your mom would say, "HAPPY UNIVERSITY!"

------------

Appropo of nothing, except the title of this post, The Violent Femmes were once playing a show in London, when they were informed that Morrissey was in the audience. So, for an encore, they played "This Charming Man" (for non-Smiths' fans, the lyrics go "I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear"), dressed in nothing but their underpanties. I love those guys.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

But I wanted to be lobster...

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable.
You pull punches, but people still love you.


tell me, tell me, tell me! I really need to know.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Am I bitter? No, but I'm waiting...
Don Martin (no, not Don Martin from Mad magazine, you freak) was speculating in the newspaper yesterday about the suspicious nature of the timing of the CBC lockout. According to Martin, he was informed by an insider three months ago of not only the launch of the lockout but also of the dragged-out resolution of the dispute. The dates were eerily accurate. The speculation was that seven weeks of payroll savings would cover the CBC's revenue loss from last year's NHL strike, and that of course the start of this year's NHL season would spur the resolution of the lockout.
Let me state for the record that I am not a union supporter. Never belonged to a union, never expect to. HOWEVER, I can tell you where my sympathies lie in this instance.
Firstly, this was a lockout, not a strike. In my books, whoever does the shit-disturbing is to blame.
Secondly, you tend to side with those you know. I don't know any CBC management people from jack-shit. I've seen Robert Rabinovitch in the news, and that's as far as it goes. I have met numerous CBC personalities over the years (and they've all been lovely) and of course depend upon many others to wake me in the morning, to give me the information I need to shape my day, to titillate my brain, and finally to sum up the world for me at the end of the day. I miss that and I miss those people.
Thirdly, all this for a contract that requires CBC to hire nine new staff before they can contract one new employee? When about 30% of the CBC is currently on contract? Hardly groundbreaking.
Let's get the show on the road.

Monday, October 03, 2005

More Male Nudity!
And Punk Rock Karaoke!

Have you watched Going Coastal lately? I think they've recently implemented a policy whereby they must show some male nudity each week. It's been great.
Last week Chris Nelson interviewed a guy from Jets Overhead while the guy was in the shower. There was a shower door, but it was glass! You could totally see his little dangly-down bits.
The conversation went like this:
JO guy: " You're not looking, are you?"
Chris: "Of course not!" *camera zooms onto genitals*
JO guy: "I can feel your eyes looking..."
And last night, the guy from The Salads mooned Matt Wells and the rest of Canada.
I just wrote Chris and Matt and congratulated them on their fine programming. Which should make them way happier than when I ripped into them for featuring Nickelback for a whole frickin hour. Chris was surprisingly gracious about the whole thing.
Wonder what treats we can expect next week?
----------
Oh, and Nardwuar interviewed Punk Rock Karaoke. The name says it all. They play punk songs and audience members can come up and sing along. They're a bit elitist, as they don't play anything past 1983, but I can certainly live with that. At least it eliminates Simple Plan.
*cough* posers that suck *cough*

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Parade of Cool

Houses built by Frank Lloyd Wright or by Joseph Eichler are cool. I was meant to live in a house like Fallingwater. However, in order to maintain the esthetics and clean lines, I would need to first dispose of my family.

Zombies are cool. I'm not entirely sure why I'm so fond of zombies. Obviously the Romero films had a big impact on me, particularly 1978's Dawn of the Dead. I have gone into a rant on the sociological significance of the zombie film as an analogy for our suburban lifestyle in a previous post (08.30.05) if you want to get all analytical about it. Suffice it to say the mall zombie film arrived when I myself was living the life of a mall zombie. It tore apart the very environment that formed the basis of my society in those days, and asked the question "are you really safe in the record store?"


George Stroumboulopoulos told me that I am a cool mom. I was a little disturbed by this at first, because it brought to mind that idiotic woman in the US who was brought to trial for having sex with her son's teenaged friends because she wanted to be thought of as a "cool mom". What kind of pathetic loser do you need to be to crave that kind of acceptance? I'm pretty sure that's not what George meant, particularly as we had just met and he had no way of knowing whether I have sex with teenagers. At least I don't think I said anything to give him that impression.

George is definitely cool.


Kyle Broflovski is cool. And he is so sweet that I wish he were real and my own son.


Eva is the coolest kid I know. I'm not just saying that because I'm her mother. She really is. She is smart and sassy and talented and wicked funny and completely unique. She walks her own path and will forge her own glorious future. And she knows more about music and music history than anybody I know.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Jesus Christ Monkey Balls, It's a Great Day to Be Alive
Firstly, happy birthday to the fabulous Jen. Grab the day by the balls and twist! And eat tonnes of cake.
Secondly, check out Jaspreet's new blog. Well, maybe give her a few days to get going. But knowing her, I can just tell it's going to be something wonderful and weird.
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Next weekend is Jerry and my anniversary. I have a lot of problems with remembering it. First, I can never remember if it's the 7th or the 8th (7th, I just checked) and then I always have to do math to figure out how long we've been married. Jesus tap-dancing Christ! It'll be 17 years! How is that even possible? How can you stay with the same person for 17 years? Laziness, I guess. In a few months I will have lived with Jerry for as long as I lived with my parents. I guess I'm really not a kid anymore. And that breaks my heart.

I have been dropping the subtlest of hints to Jer that I want the new Constantines cd Tournament of Hearts for a present. "In case you were wondering what to get me for our anniversary, I really really really want the new Constantines cd." Some situations require a straightforward approach.

I listen to Shine a Light all the time. It's got a really serious groove happening throughout the whole cd that just keeps getting stronger and stronger with each listen. Chart reviewed TOH on its release and gave it CCCCC out of CCCCC. And that hardly ever happens. I LOVE those guys (both the Constantines and Chart).

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photo manipulation by Eva because my computer skills suck