Pigs Now Officially Fly
She's going to be one of those annoying hipsters at the seniors' home. Actually it's going to be great because now she can email the pope (firstname.lastname@example.org). I'm pretty sure he still speaks German. They can exchange racy jokes.
I'm not sure if Mom is going to start reading this here blog, but it's waaay too late for me to stop swearing now. Fuck, I should have tried harder. It's not all that likely that she'll hang out online too much, as she still questions my brother as to why he doesn't just put a stamp on an email and be done with it.
Suddenly, though, I no longer feel like telling you about the great new tampons I discovered and how they are going to help save the world.