Sunday, October 09, 2005

Nicole Does Catatonic

Have you seen Birth? We watched it last night, and I'm so glad that nobody took me up on my suggestion that we boot it and watch Shaun of the Dead instead.

So tell me, is Birth SUPPOSED to be a comedy? I know Nicole Kidman has done black comedy before (To Die For), but was this in the same vein? This film was simultaneously excruciatingly boring and absolutely hilarious.

Jerry of course went to bed just before it got really funny (he is famous for that), but Eva and I stayed up and shouted encouragement to the director: "Okay, we get the point! Move onto the next scene!" when the camera stayed on Nicole's catatonic face, while she was watching the symphony, for 5 or 6 minutes. And "Uh, Nicole, do you think it might be ill-advised to allow that 10-year-old boy to get into the tub with you?" And then after 10 minutes of them in the tub together she tells him: "What are you doing in here?" We almost wee-weed all over the couch.

But our all-time favourite line from Birth:

"I thought you were my dead husband, but you're just a little boy. In my bathtub."

It just doesn't get any better than that!

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OMG, I fucking LOVE turkey!!!!!!

We are doing turkey tonight instead of tomorrow and it is making me crazy, smelling that beautiful bird all day long. (I had to go out to Zellers to buy a replacement bathmat just to get away from the aroma for a while)

I am cooking a 6.5 kg (14 lbs for our American friends) turkey for 3 people and a cat. What the hell was I thinking?

I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking that tomorrow (my birthday) I am going to do nothing all day long but sit on my fat ass and read and play on the computer and maybe do some yardwork (oh and have a big-assed workout) and then eat left-over turkey and rice and stuffing and brussel sprouts and green beans and salad and rhubarb pie with vanilla ice cream.

Yes, I said rhubarb, not pumpkin, pie. Rhubarb filling is sooooo much healthier than pumpkin, isn't it? *snort* Actually, I guess it is it you don't eat the pie crust, but I ask you, who can turn down a homemade pie crust? Not this little piggie.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, ALL

2 comments:

~Jen~ said...

BIRTH was retarded like EYES WIDE SHUT was.....
retarded retarded retarded.
least EWS has orgy scenes.

enjoy the bird? our roast was good...and our fake ass canned gravy hahaha

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Retarded pretty much sums it up - still made me laugh so hard though.

Bird was yummy and there's tonnes o' leftovers so no cooking today!